Friday, October 13, 2006

This cold is killing me.....

Would it be ok if I just stayed in bed all day????

For the longest time, about 10 years or so, I've had sciatica problems. It's not that bad really, only when the weather gets really cold then it acts up. Yesterday I started feeling a little throbbing down my left leg, but it didn't get any worse....this morning though it's a different story. It's really hurting, so I'm limping and we all know that trying to be a parent and in control while limping around and going at snails pace, is NOT condusive to anything.

I'm hoping the weather warms up because I have a couple errands to run and I also need to get groceries. Already took some Advil so it's taking the edge off, but I know that by the time I lay down tonight I'll be in some serious pain from all the walking. I did call on some help, the Lord's help and and as usual He was more than happy to step I'll be clutching His hand tightly in mine, it's going to be a LONG day!!!

Did I tell you I LOVE LOVE Grey's Anatomy??? I can't believe I missed the first season, I'm beating myself over it, so I'm going to get it on DVD and watch it. Yesterday's episode was just wonderful, really enjoyed every minute. Another show that I'm loving is Ugly Betty, have any of you been watching??? If you haven't yet, I suggest you try to catch it next time, I think you'll like it :)

So today we get our family photos, remember the ones we went to take about two weeks ago??? Am I the only one who thinks that Family Portrait packages are extremely expensive??? I mean you can't get anything under $100. Wow!!!! But anyway, I'm excited to get them and see how they turned out. I'll definitely post the kids ones later, as for mine and hubby's I'm not sure, I just HATE HATE HATE having my picture taken, and let's not forget that at the time I was sporting a humungous cold sore. Makes for a very pretty picture I'm sure LOL

Last night I had a bit of a breakdown. You know I SO look up to single parents who do it all alone, day in and day out. It's not easy. There's times that I feel I'm going nuts, especially when the kids are just not listening or should I say doing the "selective hearing" thing. Nothing worse than telling your child to stop doing something only to have them continue to do it right in front of you. I HATE yelling, but yesterday I caught myself doing it alot, and then I stopped and thought "Oh man I've got to get a grip on myself, I can't do this".

Needless to say by the time I talked to hubby on the phone I was in tears. I just vented and vented for 15 minutes before I even let him get a word in, but being the wonderful guy that he is, he just let me and then told me I'm doing a wonderful job and that he's sorry he can't be here to help me righ now. Then he asked to speak to the kids......Ummmm that's when I thought, oh boy!!!

I don't know how he does it, but they listen to him, me I guess I'm just the bozo that sits home with them all day. But whatever, what matters is that he got through to them and by the time they fell asleep everything was better. Bless my hubby's heart!!!

It's like I said before on this post, this thing of playing grown ups is not so fun at times. I truly miss having my family nearby, I miss being able to just pick up the phone and call them, I'm lucky if we speak at least twice a month being that it's expensive to call South Africa and vice versa.

I really want to have someone nearby when I'm having a bad day, someone to be the voice of reason, to calm me down and say "hey it's not so bad, you're just upset". I want to take a breather AWAY from the kids, not try to take a breather while they're still fighting and screaming at each other right under my feet.
I want to crawl into a warm lap and just close my eyes, say "to heck with it all for now, I want to be alone for a minute". But you know, that's not how life is, we can't just stop being parents, we can't just let it go and I know that even though there's days that I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and run away, I have to PUSH through them and put a smile on my face.

Don't get me wrong it doesn't mean I don't break down and cry, but I've learnt to do it after the kids are asleep, AND I allow myself just 5 minutes to let it all out before facing the next problem.....I don't let myself wallow in it for long, cry and get it over with, that's my way of thinking and it seems to work.

So I'm heading out for the day, I've said a prayer that we have a good day, that I don't miss hubby too much, that the kids actually listen to me, and that this sciatica cooperates until AFTER I'm done running around for the day.

Have a great friday,


Tricia said...

Hang in there!

org junkie said...

Sandra, I say curl up under a nice thick cozy blankie and a good book and call it a day. Tomorrow is another day!

Yes Yes Yes, you must get Season one of Grey's. So good, I just love that show and now I've just gotten hooked on the one that follows it...Six Degrees. Laura

Sarah said...

My husband travels for about one week a month for work. Yes, yes, yes, I SO admire single parents who do it all day every day. But they MUST have a support system like you mentioned -- friends to call who can say, "Oh, I KNOW -- why does it all go wrong at the same time?" Wish you had that on base among some of the other wives.

And, absolutely, why does it all happen when they're gone??? It is SO true -- cars won't start, broken water pipes, trips to the emergency room, you name it!

I love the empty Pringles containers. He's very industrious! :-)

I've been lurking for a while. Really enjoy your blog and I SO appreciate you as a military family. God bless you for the sacrifice you are making for all of us.

Susanne said...


My heart so goes out to you! I can't imagine what it's like not to have family to call on. Is there another mom you feel close to nearby that you can share childcare with when hubby is gone so you can have a break or just to go over and have a listening ear?

And I so totally agree with Sandra and say thank you to your family for the sacrifices you all make!

And totally agree with Laura,tomorrow is still coming, curl up today and just take a day and care for yourself while the kids are in school.

Praying for you! May Jesus wrap His arms around you today!

Michelle said...

Hope you get over the cold soon! Hey we all have breakdowns from time to time; don't be so hard on yourself! I don't know how single mom's do it either. I can't wait for 5:00 to come when I know Joe can "take over"!

mom of 2 said...

I'm glad your hubby was able to help with the kids always respond better to my hubby than they do to me...guess dad's just have a way with their kids!!

I had sciatica when I was pregnant...not fun!!! I hope it gets better and isn't too bothersome for you!

Dee said...

((((((HUGS)))))) to you my dear friend!!!!!

Christina said...

Ugh Sciatica!!!!! I had this during my pregnancy with my 21 year old son Josh and I know how painful it is. I could barely walk. I hope you don't feel too bad after having to walk on it all day.

I'm so sorry to hear about you feeling overwhelmed on the phone with hubby yesterday. We always go through this in the begining, I call it withdrawl. I feel like for a few days I am withdrawing from my normal life and then I get into a rythm all my own. I know you will too. The only problem with this is by the time I get my rythm hubby is just about to come home.

I love Greys Anatomy. Can you believe that check Izzie got from Denny's dad. The phone call was so sad. I couldn't beleive Meredith when she was on morphine. The big shocker was the end. What was up with that bar scene. Did you see ER? I can't believe Archie has a son with two mom's. What about the scenes with Abby and the nanny's. I guess I should stop blabbing.

Anyway I hope tomorrow is a lot brighter for you. Hugs.

Looney Mom said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. What a total bummer. It's not fair that moms just can't rest when they're sick or hurt and then especially when you're alone??!! Oh poor sweetie -- praying for you.

AND I LOVE G.A.!!! I have the first 2 seasons on DVD. (You can get them with netflix). It's just so very funny and touching all at the same time. It's clever when they have you laughing and crying all in the same episode.

carolyn said...

Hey, it's okay to have down days sometimes especially when your in pain and having to cope without parents and husbands. He sounds like a great guy by the way. But I know just how you feel sometimes you want to be looked after again like when you were a kid and being grown up isn't all that fun. But it won't last because sometimes it's great being in charge!

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

I understand the pain you go through. jack and I have both been in a lot of pain this week with the cooler, damp weather. Keeping you in my prayers!