Friday, November 7, 2008
Being a Parent is tough!
It wasn't a good morning, as a matter of fact I can say that by the time I got in the car to drive home from dropping the kids off at school, I was in tears.
It started out with both kids having congested noses and little of the sniffles, they were just moping around this morning and didn't look like they felt very well, so I decided that I would keep them home and shower them with love, attention and fluids. I wanted to keep them so that I could fight this cold before it gets worse but I also relish every second spent with my children.
Within 10 minutes of calling the school attendance line, they were running around, yelling, fighting, and screaming at the top of their lungs.....the unwell feeling they had obviously gone. I warned them twice that if this continued, they would be going to school. It fell on deaf ears, they were more worried about bickering over who got what computer and who got to play what.....completely forgetting that they were home because they weren't feeling well and not home for a day of fun.
So I did it, I snapped, I yelled once and got their attention and then proceeded to get them dressed up for school, grabbed the backpacks and dropped them off. There were tears, there were pleas to stay home, there were sorry's being thrown left right and center. By the time they walked into their classrooms, Nicholas was fine but Jasmine being the girl, the hormonal one, had red swollen eyes. I explained to the teacher that it had been a tough morning and she was a little emotional, the teacher was very understanding and promised to keep an eye on her and call me if she wasn't feeling well.
I remember walking down the corridor to the building doors and feeling glad in a way that I had put my foot down and stuck with it, because honestly, and I'm being completely honest with you now....I far too often fall into the "threat without consequences" category.
"If you don't stop that, I'm going to......" "You better do this, or I will.........."
And you know what? NOTHING! So I'm proud of myself for sticking to it today but I tell you, as a mother it absolutely broke my heart. I feel awful.....tell me I'm not the only one to feel this way....tell me I did the right thing......having to leave them there and walk out the door took everything out of me. My head said keep walking, while my heart screamed "those are your babies, go back and get them".
So here I am, feeling bad, missing them like crazy but knowing deep down that I did the right thing. Though I do plan on picking them up from school early and taking them to lunch.....yeah I know, but they're my life :)
I would love to hear from other moms out there, tell me about your experiences with doing the right thing even though it breaks your heart.