I'm one of those moms that have learned that a common cold or flu is normal and for the most part, I deal with them at home. Lots of TLC, fluids, motrin and tylenol when the fever gets high and rest. In no time they're back to normal, but there are so times when even I admit defeat and make the trip to the doctor.
Like today....I've noticed that since Nicholas started Kindergarten, he seems to be stuck in a cycle of having a cold and then being fine and then having a cold again and then fine again and so on. It doesn't help that he goes to a public school and every day there is someone else sick, especially at this time of the year.
If you're one of my usual readers, you know that he's been sick on and off for the past few months, and when he started with the nastiest cough on friday, I decided I need to take him in. There's way too many kids at school right now with ear infections, pneumonia and bronchitis.
So why do I have the doctor make me feel like I'm over reacting and wasting my time visiting him when Nicholas is "in very good health and he looks just fine"? Nevermind the fact that he was running a fever and I gave him motrin about an hour before the appointment so by the time he got there he didn't have a temperature....I got the "is that all you needed? It's cold and flu season, there's really nothing you can do but ride it out?"
For a brief instant after leaving the doctors office I was so irritated and felt like marching back into that examining room and giving him a piece of my mind, but after a minute I realized "You know....I'm only a mother. I'm not a doctor and I'm in no way qualified to see the signs of something more serious....."
I did my part, I took him in and I feel a LOT better knowing that everything is fine and it's just a cold, imagine if I had ignored it and he got worse and I took him in only to get yelled at for waiting so long.
So tell me now? Have you ever been in this position where you literally feel like the doctor is judging your mothering skills or thinking you are panicking for no reason? I tell you, being a mother is so hard at times, I'm not perfect, I'm only human.
There are days that I feel invisible and I'm sure if you're a parent, and you are reading this post, you will know exactly what I mean. I don't doubt the love my children and my husband have for me, but sometimes I think it's easy to take for granted all the work that is done in this house, to just KNOW that dinner will be served, that clothes will be washed and ready to use, that whatever mess is left behind will magically get picked up.
As much as I love being a stay at home mom, wife and mother, it does get overwhelming and I'm bound to make mistakes here and there. Look I wasn't handed a manual when I got married and I definitely didn't get one before I had children, it's all been a learn as you go experience, so to expect someone to know everything and be everything, is just a bit too much wouldn't you say?
I'm sorry for the vent, I think dealing with all the sickies and being up at night with feverish children and then going on the next day as if everything is just fine, is getting to me.
I have my days, if you come over here and read my blog and think that everything is always dandy and that I lead the perfect life, boy are you in for a surprise. It's definitely not all hunky dory....yes the good times absolutely overshadow the bad days, but when there are bad days, I need to vent and I need to know that there are mothers out there in the same boat.
All of these little life lessons are a hard pill to swallow but when you're a military wife, it seems to get overblown because sometimes the shifts they work are equivalent to them being deployed. You don't really see them, except for that brief moment you cross each other in the hallway as he gets up from bed and gets ready to go back to work....it's tough and I do deal with it and am used to it....I don't like it, but it's what I signed up for and wouldn't change it for anything.
So there you go....I vented and I feel a lot better and I'm sorry if I bored you with the details of my nutty life but sometimes a girl has to let it out, right?
I'm going to step outside, breathe in some fresh air and enjoy another spectacular sunset.