Thursday, April 19, 2012

In the moment

I don't think it's any lie that I don't like Arizona, don't like living here and am counting the days until hubby retires so we can return to Idaho.


I've done my fair share of crying, of asking why, of getting upset, of seeing just the bad in the area we live in.

And then came the moment where I realized that what matters is being in the moment.

God doesn't expect me to love everything I'm doing, or everywhere I am.  What a revelation that was to me.  Almost five years of wasted time, complaining, whining and stating that this sucks, that this place is not what I want, when can we leave, I can't wait until we're gone.

It's frozen me in time, so to speak.

I never really allowed myself to look around and to just be in the moment, to find the beauty in certain things, to allow myself to be truly content.

But as my journey to a closer relationship with God, has progressed, I've seen many changes in the way I see things and this week, for the first time in almost 5 years, I have allowed myself to look around me and to really take in God's work before me.


We've been doing State Testing, which means every day this week we have had to drive the kids to a location not too far from where we live, but it seems like a world away now that I've opened my eyes.


The kind of greenery that I dream of living in......


Farming, crops, mountains in the distance


A ranch surrounded by white fencing, with a barn or two


and an orchard filled with all different kinds of fruit tree.

I envision myself walking between them, reaching up to grab an apple, or lugging a big basket full home to make a homemade apple pie.

And it's still a dream of mine, which may never come to fruition but it doesn't hurt to think and imagine.

What I've found though, the past week, as we have driven by these fields, surrounded by the deepest blue of the sky, the warmth of the sun and the activity of field life, is that I really am where I'm supposed to be for the moment.

I'm supposed to see all of this and to take it in, to soak in the beauty amongst the thorns, the brown, the desert and the stuff that I don't like.

Because for now, I am willing to accept it and to live vicariously through these moments.  I can drive by these white fences and imagine that I'm driving by my own property.


Oh I could continue to dislike it all and to pray for orders out of here, but how tiring is that? So much energy wasted. I think I've learned an important lesson. Stop, take time to breathe, accept your surroundings and be really content with what you have. I think I'm finally there and I think the Father above is smiling down on me, proud that His child is finally GETTING IT! :)

God Bless,


Cheri said...

I love this post Sandra! So happy for you to be at peace and what a great reminder for ALL of us!

FlowerLady said...

Dear Sandra ~ I know exactly how you are feeling and I am learning daily to be content where we are. I think I'm twice your age, so you are learning these lessons sooner that I did. We hear these things through our life but at certain times they jump out at us because we have lost something. God never gives up on us, He is with us through all of our grumblings and complaining, and He patiently waits for us to see His Light and Love.

Your time in the military is getting 'short'. I know what that is like too. We used to count the days and it was so wonderful when we finally were in the lowest of the three digits.

Enjoy the rest of your time there in Arizona and continue to count your blessings and see the beauty that is surrounding you there.

Love and hugs ~ FlowerLady

stickparish said...

Thank you so much for sharing this post. My family and I are getting ready to move to Arizona from Wisconsin. I am scared that I will "hate" it there and not see the beauty like I do where we live now. I am originally from California and and have learned that God will show you the beauty in his creation if we take time to see. Thank you again for your post and reminding me to look for the beauty when we move in June and it so hot and I am missing my Wisconsin summer.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post, Sandra. Right now you are living out His plan for you. So glad that you are stopping to smell the roses along the way. Makes life much happier if we can do that.

I have to admit I fail to enjoy the moment lots of times. We live where it is rainy and cloudy for weeks at a time. So I complain about that. But when the moment is gone it is lost forever and there is no way we can get it back. Time keeps marching on and on.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. It was encouraging.


Shawna said...

Love this post Sandra, thanks for sharing it. I've been there too - moved to lots of towns with my hubby and some we really hated and some we loved. I love how Joyce Meyers puts it - something like - you don't want what God hasn't given to you.

Like sunshine in the home said...

So glad that you are feeling more content. God's beauty is all around in the smallest things. Hugs.

Becky (So Very Blessed) said...

I'm in the exact same place! Both literally and figuratively! We moved here (Arizona) from Colorado in 2009 and boy, do I miss Colorado! The endless sea of brown and cacti were just not doing it for me! I still yearn for Colorado, but I'm FINALLY learning to see the beauty here and enjoy it while we're here. :-)

Steven and Mandy McRae said...


autumnesf said...

My grandfather taught me to Live HERE Now. Its a powerful lesson. And even though we are stuck in a bad place in life and I am not enjoying it, I am also not hating it -- just living it, here and now. Sure beats wasting time, right?

SBphotos said...

Thank you for posting, you just don't know how much I needed to hear this. My husband and I moved from Louisiana to Minnesota in 2007 for his work, and I've hated it! We met some nice people, but also some not so nice people. We are moving back in August, but like you I complained of what I didn't have that I never enjoyed what was right in front of me until it was to late.

Kris Kelley said...

I think this is something that a lot of us ladies struggle with, during different times in our lives . . . It isn't always easy to move . . . It isn't always easy to stay . . . God bless as you continue to find contentment and sweet peace in where He has you for this moment in time.

Renee said...

Thank you so much for sharing so honestly and openly. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Stacia said...

I know exactly what you are talking about Sandra. We moved from the Desert to North Dakota and I fought it tooth and nail. I complained and went with a sour attitude. What I didn't stop and think about was that my children were watching my attitude and taking on my feelings about a place we had never been yet. The story of the move is a long one but it ended with me figuring out what you have, that it's all for a reason and you just need to trust in Him and enjoy what's before you.

Liz said...

I think that so often we are blinded by what we have.

I always loved Colorado. I loved the mountains and the feeling of being of close to nature there, but my dad said that if I lived there I'd probably be blind to it. That made me open my eyes to what I have in what I thought was boring old Kansas, and it really is beautiful here too.

So glad that you were able to see the beauty where you are. There is always a lesson there to learn.