and not in that good way that you do when you have something exciting happening.
I mean more in the sense of cherishing every second of every day until hubby leaves for his TDY. Ugh, I think it's one part, or THE part of military life that you never quite get used to.
It's pretty quiet here today, would you believe me if I told you I forgot it was a long weekend? Ha!
Until last night, that is. We were sitting on the couch getting ready to watch Jericho (hubby and I found it on Netflix and have been enjoying it), and hubby turned to me and said "we could stay up all night and watch all the seasons".
I turned to him with this look on my face and asked if he wasn't working today and he just shook his head and laughed. "Remember it's Memorial Day Weekend?" LOL
So yeah, I felt like a doofus.
Now let me tell you what I've been doing. I am wanting to turn my blog into a book, I have been to a few websites online and they are quite pricey and for the size of my blog, it's going to take a lot of books to get it all on paper. But it's something I'm determined to do nonetheless, I think it would be an amazing memento to have. To be able to sit down and read through all my entries from the very first post.
Yesterday, I spent almost every spare moment I had, in between housework, cooking etc...going through my blog from that very first post I mentioned above.
What a journey.
I will say that I feel like the Lord did this knowing full well that I needed it. Really needed it at this point in my life.
I have said many times on my blog that I apologize for not posting more. I have also stated just as many times that I would change it, that I would try really hard to go back to the way I used to blog, but the problem is that I didn't do it, and I think the reason being that I wasn't ready to, my heart wasn't there.
It's easy to have your mind state something, but quite different to have it in sync with your heart.
Yesterday, was an eye opener for me.
It started as simply a plan to go through each post quickly and fix any broken links or missing images that may have disappeared after all these years. I didn't want broken pictures showing up in the Blog Book. But as I started bringing up each post, I found myself reading every single word, following along, and literally watching myself grow in the pages before me.
I cried, I laughed and I yearned for what I had.
The truth is that I had completely forgotten who I was. In this attempt to keep up with the times, to become like everyone else, to fit into what is deemed the *right way to blog*, I found myself losing who I was, and I think the Lord saw that I needed to be reminded of it all and led me to what I did yesterday.
I only got through the year of 2006, but what a joy.
My children, so little.....
My posts, so full of faith.....
My struggles through the first few years of marriage......
My role as a mother, as a wife, as a homemaker.......
I blogged with so much happiness, so much determination. I shared myself freely, and talked about everything and anything, oh I remember posts like The Designated Willy Shaker, 100 Things About Me, Uncluttered Faith and Guilty as Charged.
I want THAT Sandra back. That was my first thought after reading some of these posts. I honestly got to a point where I had to step away from the laptop and gather myself. It touched me and affected me that much. But I got it.
Thank you Lord. I finally GOT.IT!
That Sandra didn't disappear, she's right here, she's been here all along, but she's been somewhat masked, somewhat absent.
I think she's been hiding for far too long, I shouldn't change who I am as I get older, I should just learn to add more layers to what already exists. I consider myself a pot of clay in the making, I'm not quite there yet, I'm simply in the potter's wheel, being molded, being worked, being strengthened.
I want all my posts to continue reflecting who I am, who my family is, I want to share my children's going ons, what I'm doing, where I went, what I am eating, watching, enjoying etc.
For a while I started thinking that I needed to change that about my posts because no one would want to read it. And there in itself was my biggest mistake. I write for me. I write to have a record of our lives, of everything we've done and where we've been, where we're going.
I want to be able to sit down one day and open up a book and read about our family.
Yes, that's what I'm going to do. Sandra is back in the house and I have missed her like crazy :)
And now that I've babbled on for so long, I'm going to end this post with something I used to do many years ago, and something which I'll be doing again at the end of every post from today onward. I'm sure some of my old blog readers will remember it :)
We went out to breakfast this morning and it was packed, so we headed to Sam's Club first for a few things, then by the time we made it back to the Black Bear Diner for breakfast it was closer to lunch. We had really yummy stuff but I'm so full that I couldn't think of eating until much much later, so for tonight, I'm making some sandwiches, just keeping it simple :)
General Hospital on ABC
Jericho Season 2 on Netflix
The Dead Files on the Travel Channel
Emptying the pool and cleaning it out, going to put it away for now