Wednesday, March 27, 2013

{ Stumbling towards Easter }


I have always been a Christian who feels things deeply, who still cries for the injustices Jesus suffered, who can't listen to a Christian song without a lump in her throat and a tear in the corner of her eye.

Some moments are harder than others.  Sometimes I can sing a whole song with a big smile on my face, but more often than not, I can't.  I croak, I choke, I swat at the tears flowing down my face.

I used to be embarrassed of feeling this way, I thought "what a wuss, you're so weak, why are you feeling that way, you should be happy when you think of God."

I am.   

And more often than not those are tears of joy, of pure unconditional love directed to the One and Only.  The I Am.  The Almighty Lord who has blessed me continuously, who has seem me through some of my darkest moments and who has never left my side, even when I tried to run in the opposite direction.

I've had my share of ups and downs, I've stumbled, I've fallen, I've questioned, I've yelled out in frustration and asked why me?  And the answer has always been "why NOT you?"

The week leading up to Easter is extremely hard for me, I literally cry at the drop of a hat.  Anything related to the Resurrection, to the suffering our Lord endured and to the real meaning of Easter, just breaks me.

This morning, as I was doing my blog reading, my friend Linds posted a link and asked us to read it, she said it was breathtaking.  I value her opinion immensely and I knew that if she was posting this, it had to be something worth reading.

My word, I wasn't prepared for it.

Broken Hallelujah by Jen Hatmaker.

I bawled through this post, and found myself without words.  It was as if she was taking the words right out of my mouth and then also hitting me with profound statements that I hadn't thought of.


One thing we have taught our children from a very young age, is that Easter is not about egg hunts, chocolate bunnies and big fluffy bunnies running around.  They know the real meaning, they know what it is about.

Does it mean that we don't incorporate the fun parts for them?  Absolutely not.  But I think there's a difference in letting them have fun and believe that is what Easter is about, and allowing them to still have that fun but know deep in their hearts what the real reason is for that day.

There will still be Ham and Hot Cross Buns on Easter Sunday, but there will also be "Jesus of Nazareth" on TV, and prayers and the reading of the Bible.

I only hope I can get through it all without crying my eyes out.

He will see me through it, just like He has through every other instance in my life. 

“And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me. In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.” (Luke 22:19-20)

8 comments:

Mandi said...

I love Jen Hatmakers stuff! So good.

Liz said...

That blog post is amazing. I do want to explain something that seems not quite understood and only because I just learned myself. I always thought the Easter celebrations we see across America seemed somewhat pagan, they are quite Christian. The eggs are considered the seeds of life and are symbolic of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The shell was the tomb and the chicken inside represents Christ rising from the dead. Traditionally the eggs were colored red to symbolize the blood of Christ. The egg rolling, is often done as a game but is symbolic of rolling away the rock from Jesus Christ's tomb. Also, the candy is a big deal to Catholics because sooooo many give up sweets for lent and it ends at Easter so we can chow down and enjoy the sweet goodness of candy. I however gave up alcohol, so I decided that I'm going to enjoy a nice adult beverage on Easter dinner.

I do think it's important to teach the meaning of the season which is why I've been reading about it to my kids and spending every opportunity I can to teach my kids about becoming a better person with even taking the kids grocery shopping and then donating all the food to the church for the food bank. I honestly think, what lent has taught me is that we should be thankful for what Jesus did for us all year round but it's nice to have that reminder when we start to fall into routine.

I cry at every mass and while I read the kids the books. I say cry it out! It's healthy and all for a good cause that leaves a lasting impression on you. :) You are a great Christian woman that I admire and am really learning a lot from.

lndwhr said...

Sandra, Jen Hatmaker is terrific. I saw her speak in person last month, and if you ever get the chance to see her, do so. Read her whole blog...amazing stuff. Her books are terrific too...especially 7 and Interrupted. Easter gets me too... my soul feels raw, and it feels good to feel that rawness when I know what He has done for me! May you and your family have a blessed Easter. Me and mine will be headed to the homeless shelter at 6 am to start cooking up breakfast for 100 homeless men. Can't think of anything I'd rather do. Hands and feet. Hands and feet. Moving for Him! Praise!

Mari said...

That was a wonderful post by Jen Hatmaker. We treated Easter the same way as you do when our kids were young. It's not about the bunny.

Walking on Sunshine said...

The older I get the more emotional I become when I think of how the Lord died for my sins. Beautiful post.

Susanne said...

Beautiful post Sandra! The more I learn what exactly He did for me on that cross the more I get emotional and weepy and thankful too.

Cathy said...

Very beautiful post, Sandra.

Cathy said...

Very beautiful post, Sandra.