Sunday, August 10, 2014

{ The big 40 }



Well, here it is.  In a way I have been anticipating this day from the minute I entered my thirties.  I used to fear it, like it was some sort of big two headed monster with a mouth full of nasty sharp teeth, just sitting there waiting, taunting, let me know that in just a few years it would swing by and pick me up.

But over the past 4 or 5 years, I have stopped fearing it, I've actually been looking forward to turning 40 and seeing what my life is like in this next decade.

I can't say for certain where I'll be, what I'll be doing, what I will be thinking, or even if I'll still be in this area.  So much uncertainty, so many questions, so many things out of my control, almost makes me want to break out in hives, but I have to remember, it's all in God's hands and He will lead me to where I'm supposed to be.

Who knows, maybe on my 50th birthday I will be sitting at this same table, writing a birthday post and talking about how I am still in the same area, doing the same things.

As for now, I am perfectly happy with turning 40 and I am in no way worried or scared of getting old.  Bring it on!!!

What better way to ring in this new age, than with a list of what my life has been up until now.....are you ready???

At 40 years old I have learned so far that:
- Life is hard, life has many ups and downs, but it is what you make of it, and your attitude determines the outcome
- That I am still on a path to a closer relationship with God, that I am still falling off the wagon, and learning tough lessons and pushing the boundaries and having to come back to Him again.
- That my husband and children continue to be the driving force behind everything that I do.
- That in this day and age, it is up to ME to stay simple, stay happy, stay away from the bad things and the bad influences.
- That best friends are those who stand by you no matter what, who don't always agree with what you say but don't use it against you.  They don't pretend to like you just to be near you so they have ammo to throw in your face or talk behind your back. 

At 40 years old I have YET to learn how:
To completely hand over control to God.
To be self sufficient and not reliant on others.
To stop worrying.
To swim, though I don't think I will ever get around to that.
To forge that strong relationship with God and to stop letting it fall to pieces.
To be the best wife and mother I can be.
To stop thinking about the future and to concentrate on the present.
To stop worrying about what others think about me, it is their problem not mine.

At 40 years old I've had to learn to live without:
My greatgrandmother, grandfathers, uncle, father in law and my two beautiful angels in heaven.
Certainties.....nothing is written in cement, nothing is a for sure thing.
8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, first because my children were young, now because as I get older I get less sleep.
My grandmother nearby, drinking tea with me, eating cookies, and chatting about life.
The safety of being a teenager, not having responsibility, knowing that everything is done for you and taken care of.

At 40 years old I now accept that:
My life is as perfect as it's going to be.
I have ALL I could ever wish for.
I love who I am and who I've become.
I'm extremely lucky to be where I am.
We are all just winging it, there are no perfect people, no one has it all together, no one is an expert on mothering, or parenting, communicating and cooking and whatever....winging it, that's what we're all doing.
Being honest with myself is the best thing in the world.  Who cares what Tom, Dick and Harry think about me?  What matters is what I think about myself and if I don't believe I'm a good, loving, honest person, then I have already lost the battle.


So what is this 40 club all about???   I have no clue, but I am sure going to have fun finding out.

Won't you have a drink for me today, a glass of wine at dinner, or if you would rather not, then a cup of coffee or tea?

I only wish that I could invite you all over to my house for dinner, I'm sure we would all have a wonderful time eating and chatting it up, just like the good ol days where people actually took the time to talk and visit each other.

I'm headed out, my husband and children at taking me to town and then we're meeting my family for the dinner, and finishing off the night with cake and coffee back at my house.  I don't need a full out crazy birthday celebration, I am happy just being surrounded by those I hold dearest to my heart. :)

30 comments:

Linds said...

Cake! I want cake! Happy birthday, my friend. You have nothing to fear from 40. Just keep on being you. Have a wonderful birthday. Lots of love. Xxx

Naomi said...

What a lovely reflective post Sandra. Happy 40th birthday! I hope you thoroughly enjoy your day, you most certainly deserve too :-) All my love xxxx

Mari said...

Happy Birthday Sandra! You are celebrating in the same way I would want to. Enjoy 40!

Christy said...

Dinner out with family, that is how I celebrated my 50th. Happy birthday Sandra. I am glad to know you, even if it is only through cyberspace. Wishing you much peace, happiness, and wisdom in your forties!

cathie3914 said...

Happy Birthday and welcome to the 40 club! It's quite lovely!

Enjoy your family and your day!

I'll eat cake in your honour and I'll drink wine

Miss Ruthie Aileen said...

Happy Birthday my friend. your post was very heartfelt and lovely. I will soon turn 34 and I have never really had a problem with age. I used to always laugh at women who were "consistently 39 every year on their birthday" It made me laugh but at the same sad. God gives us our days and He is in charge of them. As I myself age I reflect back on the good and bad. I miss the good, but look forward to more good. I regret the bad but hope to learn from it!

God bless you today and your years to come!
hugs!

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

Happy 40th dear Sandra! I hope your day is filled with lots of love, peace and joy.

FlowerLady

Stephanie said...

Happy, happy birthday to you!!!I turn 40 next Sunday, so I absolutely understand what you're feeling. It's a mixed bag...thankful for the knowledge you have gained, reminiscent of the past and a little sad about things you cannot change and people that are long gone, yet excited for what opportunities and adventures that lie ahead.

Carol said...

Happy birthday to a lovely, inspiring lady!!! Enjoy your day and I wish you nothing but the best!

A said...

Happy Birthday to a very sweet and wonderful woman!

Cheri said...

Happy Birthday Sandra- hope you have a wonderful day.

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Happy birthday dear heart! I am loving 55 which is not a bad age for someone not supposed to live much past 5 years! Enjoy each season of life, make the best and most of it and praise the Lord for it all! May He richly, richly bless you!

Mama Boz said...

So beautiful. Happy Birthday Sandra!

Melonie said...

Happy birthday, Sandra! I've found 40 to be much more comfortable for me than 20 was. I hope you have a lovely day.

Rachel said...

Happy, Happy birthday Sandra!! :)

Sarah H said...

Happy birthday! I turned 41 in July, so I'm WELL old as my eldest would say! LOL

Have a blessed day! Big hugs and love. xxx

Jen said...

Happy Birthday to my sweet friend! Welcome to the 40 club. Its great here. I would love to sit down with a visit with you.

Have a beautiful day!

Mindy Gauthier said...

Happiest Birthday Wishes Sandra!!

Mindy

Elizabeth said...

Happy Happy Birthday, Sandra!! Welcome to your 4th Decade, may it all be rich with beauty and joy and love. You are a special lady and your blog is a wonderful gift to all of us!

Rhonda smith said...

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!!!! I will be 50 in January will let you know how that feels!!!!!! 😀

Blessings

Rhonda

Terri said...

Happy birthday! Sounds like a day you could enjoy. Welcome to the club (although in another year, I'll be joining the next decade older)

Anabela said...

Ola Sandra,
Welcome to the forties; it'll be fun you'll see... Many, many happy returns. Hope you had a lovely day, and that the coming year is a wonderful one.
Wishing you a lifetime of blessings, xxx B

mahek Kulkarni said...

MANY HAPPY RETURNS OF THE DAY...
MAY YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE AHEAD...

Kristina said...

Happy Birthday Sandra!

Carrie B. said...

Happy Birthday Sandra!

Yay 40's!!!

God bless for a wonderful decade to come & more.

Conny said...

Happy Birthday!!! The 40s are pretty great (I'm 43!).
I love what you shared today.

Liz said...

Happy Birthday to an amazing woman! You are perfect the way you are.

gail@more than a song said...

Happy birthday Sandra! Hope you had a great day!

Stacy at Exceedingly Mundane said...

Beautiful post Sandra! Happy Belated Birthday, hope it was an awesome time celebrating you, and you are off to a fantastic start to your new year :) As someone staring down the next big decade, I am having a lot of the same feelings! :)

Have a blessed day!

Amy said...

Happiest of birthdays dear friend!! :-)