A Miracle!!!!4:55 PM
I'm so sorry I've been missing from my blog, I haven't been able to concentrate on anything other than my grandmother, and friends, it's been really really tough the past 10 days.
I thought that I would come and give you an update on what I've been going through and what is happening with my granny. Be forewarned this is going to be a long post and will also include some photos that some may find a little hard to see, just scroll through if you need to, but I have to share it and feel compelled to share it all in order to tell you exactly what is happening.
My grandmother was on the brink of death, literally at death's doors.
3 days ago the doctors let us know that there was no hope, that they had done everything they could and that death was imminent. We were told to say our goodbyes, and there's nothing more excruciatingly difficult than to know that the person you love so very much, is leaving this world and you will never be able to talk to them or see them again.
The photo above was sent to me by my oldest brother. It was shocking to see and it absolutely broke me. Not being able to be in South Africa during this time was something that I found very difficult to deal with. I wanted so badly to be there, as hard as it was to see her like that, i needed to be able to hold her hand, hug her, just let her know I was there. To say that I was and am completely physically and emotionally drained, is an understatement.
I have yet to have a good night's sleep, the time difference makes everything that much harder, when the family was getting news about my gran, it was middle of the day for them but middle of the night for us, so my phone was constantly buzzing throughout the night, not to mention my heart was heavy and I was scared and worried and just couldn't sleep.
Her body had shut down, she couldn't breathe on her own and needed the ventilator, her heart beat was slowing down, she had diarrhea, there was blood in her urine, and the doctors and nurses told us that her body was ready to stop.
I sat in my walk in closet, closed the door, and poured out my heart to my grandmother in a voice message. I told her what she meant to me, I told her how much I loved her and how thankful I was for everything she taught me and everything she saw me through, and I said goodbye, and let her know that as selfish as I wanted to be to ask her to please stay, I had to think of her and if this was her time, then she needed to know that it was ok to go, that we would miss her, but that we would understand and we would eventually be fine.
I cried for days, I cried until I felt I couldn't cry anymore and just when I thought I had nothing left in me, the flood gates would open again and I broke down. My husband and children did their best to comfort me. I literally walked around like a zombie.
My oldest brother played messages to my gran, she couldn't talk, and was in and out of consciousness, but when she heard our voices, she squeezed her eyes shut to acknowledge.
My 3 brothers and I have a group on Whatsapp where we exchange messages, photos, supported each other through this, and where my two brothers in South Africa kept me and my brother here in Idaho, up to date.
Every time one of them visited her, we got photos, we were told what was going on, what the doctors and nurses said, what my gran was doing etc.
It's really helped my brother and I here in the States feel like we are there and going along this whole process with them.
And then Thursday, my youngest brother was at the hospital and posted this photo to the group with the caption "You are NOT going to believe this".
As he walked into the ICU and up to her bed, she turned her head towards him and opened her eyes. She acknowledged him, she nodded, she tried to talk even though she couldn't because of the breathing tube in her mouth.
Her blood pressure which was 8/5 the day before was now normal, her heart was beating normally and she was breathing all on her own. We were all stunned. The nurses and doctors were immediately called in to assess her.
She wanted the tube out and again tried desperately to talk. She recognized everyone visiting her, and seemed to have come out of whatever state she was in.
My brother messaged me and asked if I could please send her a voice message as she was feeling a little confused, I did. I said hi, I said I missed her and I loved her so much and I asked if she could do something for me "give me a little smile, it would make me so happy grandma".
She did!!!! She heard my message, she nodded, she gave me the smile when I asked her to. I cried, I cried so very hard but I was terrified of getting my hopes up, after all this had happened so many times when people seem to suddenly come out of their unconscious state only to immediately after pass away. The calm before the storm...that is all that I could think about.
Her cardiologist and physician came in to check on her and told us we need to wait 24 hours to really know what is going on.
When my brothers visited her that night, she was wide and propped up in bed. Huge folks, that is HUGE!!!!
On Friday morning, 24 hours after she first woke up, she was propped up in bed, watching TV, still trying to talk, her ventilator removed, her vitals all back to normal, the urine in her blood completely gone and her diarrhea gone. The nurses said they actually had her sitting on a chair in the afternoon.
When my father talked to the doctors, their exact words were "This is a miracle, we have no explanation what we are witnessing, it surpasses all human understanding. We really don't have an explanation from where she was 2 days ago to today, again, it's a MIRACLE!!!"
Praise the Lord!!! Oh my friends, there have been so many people praying for her the past 10 days, family and friends and friends of friends and people in South Africa, Portugal, USA, England and all over the world.
She has continued to improve, and today she celebrated her 92nd birthday.
The family gathered around her, the tubes had all been removed and she was able to finally talk and have a sip of water and some ice chips, the first in 10 days. She talked to everyone, she was back to her old self, she laughed she joked and she doesn't remember anything before the last 2 days.
And then she dropped a bomb that has hit us all like a ton of bricks.....
"I saw my mother.......I actually went through the tunnel."
I have always believed in the tunnel, in life after death, in seeing our loved ones waiting for us on the other side, but even though I've read books about it, watched TV shows on the matter and believed it, it was never something I could really say for sure that it was true, mainly because I didn't personally know anyone who had been through it.
And now here was my grandmother, one of the women in my life that means the world to me, one of the women in my life who has NEVER lied about anything in her life.
She didn't elaborate, and when asked if she saw her husband too (my grandfather), she just looked at them and didn't say a word. We won't push, but I believe that as she starts feeling better, she may just divulge all the details and I for one can not wait to hear.
This was her today.........
She has come so far. I'm beyond thankful to every single one of you who prayed for her, who kept her in your thoughts and who has been there offering words of comfort and support the past few days.
It has meant the world to me and my family.
I don't know what is in the future, how long she will be around or what is happening next week, but I know one thing for sure, that the Lord has pulled her from the brink of death and performed a miracle for our family and I will never forget it for as long as I live.
I've loved Him for as long as I can remember, I've been a Christian for so many years and have always known and believed in the power of prayer. He has been with me through so much and I love Him with all my heart and soul.
I'm not here to change anyone's mind, I'm not here to tell anyone they need to change what they do or what they think, I'm merely here to share our story and to pass on this amazing miracle that we are witnessing. But if this post helps even one of you out there who is struggling or still questioning the power of God, then that is all that matters to me.