Just when you think you're doing better

you watch something on TV and BAM, you're right back where you were. I'm sure right now you're all wondering what I'm talking about.

Last night I was watching Related, I love that show, and Ginnie lost her baby. It was such a painful episode to watch. For those that don't know, in 2001 I had 2 miscarriages. It was the most excruciating time of my life, not just physically but emotionally, it's just one of those things that happen and you can't comprehend. For the most part I can say that I'm ok now and that I don't cry about it every day, like I did the first year. BUT, there's still times that I watch something or hear something and it takes me right back to when it happened. I remember at the time, feeling soooooo mad at myself, thinking that it was my fault, after all, it was my body right?
But anyway, just goes to remind you that some things stay with you forever, no matter what. I know my 2 angels are in heaven and that one day I will see them again. My heart goes out to all the moms out there who have gone through or are currently going through a miscarriage.

Alright now that I got that out of the way, it's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. You know that's the one thing that I LOVE about being a mom and having noise and chaos around me, it doesn't allow you much time to sit and wallow and complain about things. I welcome that craziness at times like these.

Hubby started the exercise yesterday, so he worked a 12 hour shift. He got home at 6am on the dot and came upstairs to tell me that he would take the kids to school....Jasmine and Scottie, my friend Veronica's son. He told me to go ahead and sleep in and I thought "WOW, really?". So I try to go back to sleep only to have Nicholas wide awake and ready to get up, he came into the room and tried to get me to get up with him and I said "Go see daddy, he's downstairs" LOL
So he did, but 30 minutes later I was awakened by a wonderful smell. Here comes curt walking up the stairs again "surprise honey, I made breakfast for everyone".
Man do I love this guy. He made coffee, bacon, eggs, toast, by the time I came downstairs he had nicholas in a clean diaper and sitting at the table ready to eat.

Next time I decide to yell or go postal about him forgetting to take out the trash, I will have to remember that after a 12 hour shift, which I know he was exhausted, he still took the time to come home and fix breakfast for us all.

Switching gears here for a moment, I'm still trying to get this whole potty training thing underway. I remember with Jasmine, she was 2 and half years old, Curt had just been deployed to OEF in the beginning of November 2001. I was feeling sorry for myself and needed something to keep me on track so I thought, HEY LET'S BEGIN THE POTTY TRAINING. LOL
Within 2 weeks Jasmine was fully potty trained. So when it came time for Nicholas I thought, you know it's pretty easy, it worked great with her, I'm sure it will be a breeze.

Uhhhhhh, he'll be turning 3 in April and still in diapers. Where did I go wrong? Of course reading about how boys are harder to train does NOT help me, it just frustrates me. We have days that I put on his big boy underwear and he does nothing in them, goes to the potty and everything goes fine, then the very next day he has accident after accident and wants NOTHING to do with the potty.
Then everyone kept suggesting the cheerios in the toilet......hmmmm well that didn't work, he thought they were his snack. BARF!!!
I'm on the verge of giving up but I can't, I don't want him wearing diapers when he's walking down the aisle on his wedding day. LOL

If anyone out there has ANY advice, I'm all ears. God knows I need all the help I can get right now.
Well time to get going, Jasmine has a dentist appointment today so I need to pick her up from school at 1:30pm. Right now, I'm going to get some cleaning done and my menus made for the next 2 weeks. YAY payday is tomorrow!!!