I don't know what it is about me lately but the nostalgia is kicking in, big time.
Maybe it's not that there's anything wrong specifically, I do tend to go through phases in my life where I miss certain things, whether it be my childhood days or a teenage life, or the first years as newlyweds.
My kids though have been what is on my mind the most lately, that and the fact that I keep missing the time when they were little. It doesn't help that I watch so many vlogs of young moms who are just having their first babies, or have toddlers and are doing all that fun stuff that we do with them, whether it's going to the park to play, or taking them to Chuck E. Cheese or even just watching cartoons and playing with the newest fun toy out there.
I was thinking back on when we had our children, who as you know are now 16 and 12.
I didn't realize at the time just how fast it would all go by, like in the blink of an eye they are grown up. But I was watching a vlog, actually one I found just two days ago and I'm fascinated in the sense that it reminds me so much of my first few years of marriage and dealing with being a military wife and having a little one.
That sense of excitement leading up to the first baby being born, the hospital stay, the birth, then bringing them home and trying to figure it all out. The long nights, the exhaustion, and the incredible joy of seeing all their firsts. With it, the first deployment as a military wife, the fear and loneliness and trying to juggle keeping the home fires burning while missing your husband.
Something else really gets to me now, and it's not that I'm jealous.....well maybe just a little, not going to lie, but in talking to my niece who is currently dating a marine guy, and then watching this vlogger, it just made me realize how much easier it is for them today than it was for us 18 years ago.
We were lucky to get a 10 minute call once a week and even so, the calls were constantly dropping or almost impossible to hear over the background noise. Then we had the missed calls and I would cry so hard everytime that happened, we didn't have cellphones so when I went to get groceries or run errands or a doctor appointment, my worry was always that I would miss his call, and I did, on multiple occasions and then I would get home, hear the message on the machine and bawl.
There was no skype, communication was mainly through that little phone call or letters which took forever to get there, and the guys were usually so busy that I wouldn't get much of a response from him. To my one daily letter I would be lucky to get 1 a month.
I also sometimes wish I had a good camera back then, or that vlogging was in fashion because I kinda think that kids in today's generation have so much more recorded memories and photographs than my kids ever will. Sure I took photos with my 35mm and had a huge clunky video camera that I filmed a few videos with, but nothing like now.
I kinda wish I had vlogged everything from the pregnancies to the deployments, grocery shopping, the labor, their first birthdays etc. It's kinda sad that I don't have much of that at all.
Goodness I sound like a whiner at the moment, and please don't think I'm not happy with the few memories I do have recorded, not just here on the blog but through actual photographs and later on digital photos, but it's just not the same. You know what I mean right?
Almost makes me want another baby, which is not going to happen, not at my age and where we are in this point in our lives, not to mention wanting to vlog and take good pics is not exactly a reason to have a baby. HA!
Is there a point to this whole post?
I'm not even sure, but then again this is my personal blog and a journal and I guess sometimes we just want to get our feelings on paper, or in this case on the computer. I don't regret anything about my life, and the few memories I have recorded of my kids is something I will treasure forever, just think that I may have had a lot of fun being able to go through it all again in this day and age.
What do you think???
I know how you feel, Sandra. I see mine growing so fast, and I long for the days when they were small. My eldest is out on her own. This time of year seeing lots of parents out with their young children picking apples, playing in the fallen leaves, it makes me nostalgic. But one thing I've come to realize since my husband passed was, to make the most of what time we have with our loved ones. The times now with our not so little children, our spouses, parents, et al.. Is precious and as filled with special moments you will treasure in the years ahead.
ReplyDeleteI know just what you mean Sandra. I have those moments too. Wishing I could go back in time. Even if we're just for a day or 2. I remember holding my babies & thinking 'I'll never forget how they smell & feel to snuggle with'. But now I try so hard to remember those moments & they're so faded in my mind.
ReplyDeleteI think we're such a fast focused society now. More media options, fast forward schedules, tv & computer time etc. I feel like life is going so fast, but I think a lot of it is because we're making it fast forward. I bet a different lifestyle - for example the Amish - who don't watch tv or use the internet - well I bet their life does seem slower & that they live even more in the moment. Makes one wonder don't ya think?
Xoxo
I know just how you feel! I have read your blog over the years and other's blogs and I so regret that didn't get started in blogging until my kids were about 5 and 7. Now it's vlogging and so many new things ~ times change so fast!
ReplyDeleteWith all the baby blankets I am making right now for friends and co-workers expecting babies, the memories come flooding back of my kid's younger years and I miss those years too. Guess it's all part of Motherhood. :)
I think we as women yearn for children. I yearned for just one to make memories with, to hold at night, to love
ReplyDeleteYet I realize life constantly changes...kids grow up, we now are missing grandparent stage & in our situation trying to find the one family setting where we fit in.
Just to be invited to a birthday party, take a child a ballgame or enjoy a Family trip.
When I look at e past I see my parents,finding a pay phone to call Mom to say we arrived safely. Not knowing where hubby was until he came home. Working late. Having no money yet enjoying life because we had family close by.
Memories are good!
I truly understand. As my kids grow (third youngest just turned 19 this week), I miss the baby days and the excitement of each change they made. However, I still try to focus on them now at their adult age, because one day these days will be gone as well. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMy kids are only (almost) 8 and 4 but I can understand a little about what you are talking about. They are growing up fast. I know if I blink they'll be teenagers. I look through pictures of when they were babies and I miss that stage. I also think back to my college days and I really miss that time in my life and sometimes so much that it literally hurts. Thankfully, we have those memories.
ReplyDeleteI'm just going to say it... start vlogging! You say you miss those moments, but when your children are older and have babies of their own, you're going to wish you had these memories as well. :) Just saying, I'd definitely watch them.
ReplyDeleteI was just saying to my kids how easy they have it with their dad traveling for work. My dad traveled too and we were lucky if we got to talk to him on a trip at all. Now a couple of days is nowhere near a deployment, but still. Shawn will face time them every night, we text the whole trip and constantly talk on the phone and send photos or videos back and forth.
Wow Sandra this is exactly how I have been feeling! My daughters are 15, 12 and 10 and I can't believe how quickly the time has passed. I can't even look at photo albums or family videos without crying. I sure hope it's just hormones as I am 44 and no more babies for me. My brother and his wife have two in university and their youngest graduating high school. They are finding it difficult now that their once super busy schedules are slowing down. They said they miss their "young" family. I can't even let my mind think that far ahead! I sure wish I could freeze time! I guess these feelings are pretty common for us moms with children in or entering their teen years. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete