{ Gratitude, God's Battle and Go Slow }

It is the 5th of January.  The whole world is filled with resolutions, plans, goals and all sorts of lists of things that people want to accomplish in the new year.

I've never been one for resolutions, I've mentioned it ad nauseum, but every year I do strive to change something or better myself in an area.  I don't pressure myself to do it because without a doubt, that simple act of telling myself to do it will send me spiraling backwards or in the complete opposite direction of where I intended to go.

My plans for this year are simple and easily attainable, if I stay true to myself and my nature, and stop indulging in other people's needs and wants.

See, when my husband retired from the Air Force, 6 years ago, my life took a drastic turn.  In many ways, the quiet simple life that we were used to, and loved back in Arizona, was no longer at our fingertips.  With the change of a new home, new state, family moving to the USA, adjusting to civilian life and so forth, I was forced to let go of me and become more of what others needed me to be.

I kept thinking "it is just temporary, in a month or two it will be back to the old ways."

But it wasn't temporary, and 6 years down the line I'm craving that life and ready to recapture it and move on from where I left off.

I don't regret the past 6 years or anything that I have done, what I do regret is changing myself to please others.  But I feel we have finally come full circle, we are now in our forever State and forever home, and I can now focus on that.

The picture above was taken back in 2013, when we visited the Pioneer Living History Museum back in Arizona.  It was my absolutely favorite place to go.  Walking those old pathways, stepping into the homes and imagining what it would have been like living in those days.

Some may look at this picture and find it boring, my own daughter much prefers the city life to country life, but for me, that shot embodies everything that I love and hope to recreate in my home now.

As I go into 2020, three thing play loudly in my mind.

Gratitude, God's Battle and Go Slow.

Last year I learned a huge lesson, a lesson so profound that it ingrained itself deep into my being and will forever be carried forth, until the day I close my eyes for the last time.

God's Battle

My whole life I have felt that I have been under attack at times, struggled to deal with oncoming battles, failed miserably at times, cried and prayed and cried again and prayed some more.

I'm not going to mention the journey to buy our house, again, because I've mentioned it a few times already, but I will tell you that, in those 4 weeks I was shown that while I walk this earth, it is not my battles to surpass, they are God's battles and the minute we give in and let it go, we see Him in action.  The things that God did for us were unattainable by people, if it weren't for Him moving and shaking things up in the background, we would still be here facing the prospect of having to move yet again.

If anything stuck in my mind the past few months, it has been the phrase, "It is NOT your battle."

And so I'm going into the new year with that screaming in my head.

Gratitude

I've always thought of myself as a grateful person, and no matter what is going on around me, what may be falling apart or coming together, I am grateful.

The simple act of being grateful is a huge step in being happy and content.  We live in a world that is always wanting more, never happy with where we are, with what we have and keeping an eye on the greener grass which seems to be on the other side.

I'm here to tell you that there is no better, freeing feeling, than that of being grateful with what you have, and where you are.  I want to take this feeling one step further this year, and really enjoy every minute of every day.  Understand that what you have is enough, more than enough when you look at the grand scheme of things and the conditions some people in the world, live in.

Go Slow

The faster I try to go, or the quicker I try to finish a task or project at hand, the slower I go.  Frustrating isn't it?

I've spent many years imposing these silly rules, telling myself that I need to achieve more, get that to do list down faster, move quicker and so on.  Life is not a race, though we tend to portray ourselves as if on a constant 100 metre dash.  It's not the kind of life that I enjoy or want to live.

Like I said above, and every single time that I've tried to cut corners, go faster, finish before others, I have ended up with multiple obstacles or occurrences that have slowed me down.  So, why bother?

I want the beginning of this year to be one of learning to go slower, to get things done right and not fast.  There is no need to finish everything in one day, there's always tomorrow.