{ Hello 43 }

I turned 43 years old yesterday.

I had every intention of doing this post and then got busy enjoying my day with my children.  See when you have an 18 year old and a 14 year old, it is very rare that they want to sit with you and watch movies....and even more rare that they both want to do it at the same time.

We sat down and watched 2 movies, and we chatted, and we laughed and joked around, and it did wonders for my soul.



I still remember waiting to turn 40, the anticipation of the big 4 0.  It's a bit surreal to think that I'm now 3 years in and they truly have been some of the best of my life. 

They've been life changing in a way, they've taught me so many lessons, and I've done an incredible amount of growing up.  I guess we never really stop learning or growing do we?

And it's so strange seeing the years pile on and the time just whizzing on by, when we still see ourselves as a young person.  I feel the exact same way I did when I was 14 years old.  Ok, maybe not the exact same way, after all I have a ton more life experience under my belt, but I mean inside, I still think of myself as young feisty Sandra Claudia (that's my middle name by the way, not that I like it very much, but anyway), just in an older body.

It's often hard to reconcile our way of thinking and feeling with the way we look or the reality of how old we are.

But the past 6 months I've found myself in deep thought at times, wondering what I'm missing in life, what I'm supposed to be doing, and more importantly how I want to project myself to those around me.

And it all boils down to one thing, one glaring huge thing.....I need more of God and less of society, less of trying to fit into this mold that tells us all we need to weigh a certain weight, look, act, talk, feel and think a specific way.

It's time to embrace my 43 years of life and accept once and for all who I am.  

I don't want to wake up 10, 20 years from now and realize that I spent so much time worried about what others think and trying to be what they want, and didn't live life to the fullest, didn't allow myself to be me. 

Not an easy thing to do, for sure, but it's something I've decided to strive for.

So thank you God, for blessing me with a beautiful family, for giving me health and for allowing me to live 43 wonderful years.  I can only hope that I am blessed enough to live many more :)