{ In the midst of the storm, finding our balance is essential }

The storm around us seems to be ongoing.  Some areas are seeing the end of it, others are still very much in the middle of it's chaos, and it's becoming increasingly hard for people to stay strong and to power through it.

Life has become an uncertainty.  Things we were used to are no longer the same, and I don't even mean big things, but even the small act of going grocery shopping has become an ongoing battle.

The things we took for granted are the things that we now look back on fondly, miss, and wonder if we will ever be able to fully go back to doing them.

This past week has been a week of reflection for me.

I started this week thinking that I was going to be blogging every day, taking a lot of photos, doing some projects around the house, maybe even get into my spring cleaning, after all, now is the time to do it since we have so much time on our hands.

But as the week moved on, I quickly realized that I needed some time to digest it all.

I don't quite think that I really took it all in.  Before I go on let me say though, I'm fully aware of the severity of the situation, I'm not in denial by no means, shape or form, and I have not worried or been fearful about it, from the beginning.

However, this week, I started mulling it all in my head and thinking about the situation we find ourselves in, and it's quite a strange feeling realizing that you are at home, with no control over anything and just waiting for it all to end.

Because as the days turn into weeks, and we are now about to go into a month and a half of shelter in place, I find myself feeling a little discombobulated with it all.  I just want to know when it will end, when life will go back to the way it was, when we can freely move about and do what we need to do and not think about masks, or hand sanitizer and trying to remember what you touched when you were out or where you were.

So the past few days, I've stepped back and let God put in my heart, what He needs me to do, think, and be through these days ahead.

The word that continuously came into my mind was balance.

Finding balance.

Knowing what we can't change, and working on the things that we can.  Letting go of what we can't control, and taking control of those we can.

I almost have to laugh, because it's a lesson that God has been working on me, for so many years, my entire adult life to be fair.  He has tried to teach me this lesson and I've always struggled, until very recently, within the past year or so, where I've started to actually listen and leave it in His hands.

It's hard, oh my gosh is it hard, but I am happier and calmer than I've ever been.

So where does the balance come in?

I think that we need to be in the moment, knowing what is going on around us and in our country, but we need to balance that out with what our lives are inside our homes.  Where chaos and uncertainty may run rampant outdoors, inside we need to create an atmosphere of love, of cozy, of safety not only for our families but ourselves as well.

When I am going out of my house, which has been very, and I mean very few times this past month, 2 or 3 to be exact, and I didn't leave my car at any of these outings either, I have to be in the moment, which means conscious of where I am, what I'm doing, wearing a mask and so on.

But the minute I step inside, the balance shifts to being calm, joyful and relaxed.

Now is the time to learn a new skill, to pull your old sewing machine back out (and you don't have to be making just masks, make something for your home, or an article of clothing for yourself, your kids or husband ).

Start that sourdough starter you've been wanting to try for so long.  Light a candle, read a book, clean, organize, start a new project, renovate, watch a movie with your kids, bake with them.

There has to be balance in our lives.

We can't just be worried and panicked, living with nothing but thoughts of the virus and impending doom over our heads, same way that we can't bury our heads in the sand, shut out front doors and live like nothing is happening out there.

Balance, again that word just kept hammering in my mind.

I think I'm going to work very hard at putting balance back into my life.  I hope you think about it too and see if there needs to be something you should be doing, to create a safe haven for yourself and your family, away from the serious battle raging outside.

In other news, and quickly changing subjects, I received a gift that my Jasmine ordered for me as an early Mother's Day present.  She knows me very well, and I think when you see what it is, you will also know that it's perfect for me.

A new Cath Kidston bag.  Isn't it absolutely gorgeous?  It can be worn as a cross body bag, or just as a normal handbag.  Totally up my alley, totally me and I couldn't wait to wear it out today.

Which I did, as I had my mammogram appointment.  How is that time of the year again?  Didn't I just have a mammogram a few months ago?  Hahahah

I swear I am so lost on time right now. 

Anyway, Jasmine went with me as she needed to talk to someone at the hospital about her insurance and so on.

The way the hospital is conducting appointments now, is that when you pull into the parking lot and park your car, you then have to call the mammography imaging department and let them know you have arrived.  In order not to have too many people in the waiting rooms and keeping social distancing rules, they will then call you back and let you know when you can head in and check into the hospital.

We didn't have to wait, as they were ready for me, so we headed right in. There were two nurses and a security officer outside the door to the main lobby.  We had our temperature taken, were asked a few questions and then an orange bracelet was slipped around our wrist to show that we were not sick.

Definitely a big change from the previous visits, but that's ok, I am glad they have these checkpoints before entering the hospital.

I'm just glad I got the mammogram out of the way, and of course now we wait for the results, which should be in by Monday morning.

My review book shelf is filling up again, so many good books coming in.  The Ancestor will be reviewed and on tour next week, and I'm starting Simon the Fiddler this weekend. 

This weekend I have my usual homemaking chores to do, but also picking up our groceries at Walmart in the morning, and going to the local butcher as well.  I am hoping they have chicken, we haven't had much chicken at all for weeks, it's hard to find in the grocery stores.

Hopefully there will be more gardening, some shelving going up in the house and whatever else we can get to.

I hope you are all having a good Friday and that you're finding that balance in the middle of all this.

May God continue to bless you and watch over you, and your families.
♥♥♥♥♥♥

{ Day *whatever* of being stuck inside }

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

- 1 Peter 5:7 -

To be honest, I don't even know what to say.

I am still keeping my faith, I am still not worried or fearful, no matter how much I pray on this situation, I can't feel any kind of fear or panic.  I know that we are in the midst of a spiritual war and that it is out of our hands.  We have to sit back, keep praying and let everything else play out.

But with that said, I will tell you that this staying indoors thing is starting to become harder as the days go by.

My daughter is struggling with her depression and anxiety.  She was doing really well, and that was mainly due to her going to work and being busy and around her friends and coworkers.  Being stuck inside is becoming harder for her.

I know that this is the case for many many others out there who struggle with mental illness.  If only for that alone, I pray fervently that this resolves itself very soon.

I've been spending my days trying to keep my house calm and relaxing.  I've baked and cooked, burned incense and candles, played soft music and worship songs, read, watched TV, sewed and spent time in the garden.

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday, the time just got away from me, and Nick and I were also busy working on an English Essay paper.

I have received 3 more books to review, including this one called Administrations of Lunacy.  I am not one to usually read books about racism or anything that is too deep or thought provoking.  That probably makes me sound incredibly shallow, but I choose to read books that are lighter material.

However, the whole premise of psychiatry fascinates me and I'm quite looking forward to reading this one.

The other book that came in was Simon the Fiddler by Paulette Jiles.  I reviewed another Paulette Jiles book a few months ago, called News of the World, and quite enjoyed her writing style.  This one takes place at the end of the Civil War, in Texas.

Baking has been a way to relax as well.  When I get into the kitchen and start working with ingredients, creating meals or sweet treats, it makes me take a step back from the chaos around and focus on something other than bad news.

The garden is starting to come together.  We have started adding some planters to my pallet wall, vegetables and herbs are growing in the garden and we're still trying to get the greenhouse finished.

You know gardening is a learning experience, and just when you think you know what you're doing, it throws you for a loop.  The greenhouse structure is finished, but we started by going with plastic to cover it, after researching online for various methods of enclosing it. 

What we didn't count on are the high winds here in Texas, which completely ripped it apart over the last few weeks.  Our next choice is to use a sort of plexi glass, but unfortunately when this all came about was right before the country shut down.  So now, we are stuck waiting to look into that as soon as we can so that the greenhouse can be covered, and finished.

Cups of hot coffee have kept me going. 

I find that even standing back and watching the smoke coming out of the coffee cup, is relaxing. 

Even though things are tough at the moment, I thank God that we were forced to stop and literally smell the coffee.  We have forgotten the small things, they tend to get lost in the day day rat race of life, don't they?

The next few days I'll be busy getting ready for my boy's 17th birthday and Easter on Sunday.

They are both important dates to me, that are going to be celebrated a little different this year, more reminiscent of the time when we were active duty.  The past 6 years we have been blessed with having family nearby to celebrate these days, we gather together, we enjoy yummy food and laughs and good chats.

Even though it will be slightly different this time around, it is ok.  We will make it as special as we always have.  I am thankful that I spent 20 plus years as a military wife.  Being far from family taught us to count on each other and to be ok with it just being the 4 of us.  I think in a way I'm actually looking forward to a quiet birthday and Easter, very much like the ones we used to have. 

Will be dyeing eggs, making a birthday cake and a yummy Easter meal too. 

I have a feeling that this Easter is going to be more special than ever, and maybe just maybe we will see a miracle play out before our eyes. 

{ Day 13 and 14 of Quarantine/Day 8 and 9 Shelter in Place }

"For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

- Isaiah 41:13 -

 I wanted to post daily but, I realized that I needed a step back this weekend.

Now, don't panic, I don't mean that I'm not going to continue doing the daily posts, but I may just do a weekend post instead of a Saturday and Sunday one.  Even though we are at home every day, weekends are usually busy for Curt and I, in the sense that we take that time to do a lot of yard work.

The weather has been amazing, today we had temperatures in the high 60's and cloudy skies, which meant we were able to finally get the plants, veg and herbs into the ground, dig up some areas, prepare others, clean up debris and so on.

We love it so much and we often tell each other how grateful we are to be able to call this our home.  It's such a blessing knowing that this is our home, that we are creating our own space and doing what we want to without having to ask for permission or knowing that whatever we do we may have to change back.

Now let me show what I've been up to this weekend.......

♥♥Saturday♥♥

The weather was a bit off yesterday and it rained on and off so all our yard plans were postponed until Sunday.

What that meant was either relaxing or finding something constructive and fun to do.  I decided to pull out my fabric and start making myself and Jasmine some face masks, in case we need to go out at all.

There are a ton, and I mean a ton of tutorials online.  I took a quick look and they were all pretty much the same.  These are very simple to make and you only need to have very basic sewing skills.

I quickly cut out the fabric, lined them with some lightweight interfacing as a filter and got on the sewing machine.  These came together very quickly,  and I'm so thrilled with the results.  I will be making more this coming week, because even though these are fully washable, I just love the different patterns and think the less I wash and rewash, the better.

I will show you all how they look when they're done.  But, if you are wanting to make some yourself, be sure to do a quick google search, there are very easy tutorials out there.


♥♥Sunday♥♥

I wish I had gotten more photos today, but I got so busy digging and planting that I didn't have a chance to grab the camera.  That and truthfully, when you're in the garden digging, messing with dirt and water and so on, you don't want a camera nearby.  I will however get some photos tomorrow.

Was finally able to start my potatoes.  I only have these 4 potatoes, but that is ok, I've never planted potatoes before and have no clue if they will even work.

Also into the ground went Tomatoes, Okra, Spinach, Beans, Zucchini Squash, Green Onions and Lettuce.  Cilantro, Parsley, Basil, Spearmint and Chives have also been placed on my pallet garden {again, pictures coming tomorrow }

And I also planted some cuttings that I had taken from my sister in law and brother's house.  They grew roots and were doing wonderful in the pots, but I needed to get them in the ground.  I threw in some pretty flowers from seed as well, and I also got my Lavender started.

When you look at your garden when it's starting, it's not a very pretty sight, but we have been working so hard to get everything looking the way we want it and I'm looking forward to seeing it all come to life.

Washed a ton of dishes, cleaned the kitchen and made a frozen pizza for lunch.  We worked outside for a few hours and by the time we came in, we were starving.

Also washed all the produce and filled the fruit bowl.

In the afternoon, my husband and I made a quick trip to town.  Our daughter had bought a birthday present for her brother and it was to be picked up at Best Buy.  They are not open but do curbside pickup.  We grabbed that and then headed to Walmart for my grocery pickup.

This whole situation has been so incredibly weird for me.  I'm used to heading to the commissary every two weeks and getting my groceries, now it's become a mixture of my husband picking up groceries from the commissary, after he leaves work, and me putting in a walmart order for pickup.

I'm having to find new ways of shopping and it's taken some getting used to.  I'm basically getting some things here and some things there and still never quite able to get everything I am looking for.

But you know, all of this is being a huge lesson as well.

I am seeing so many starting to meal plan where they never used to before.  Families are sharing dinner at the table, chatting and going for walks around their neighborhood.  They're watching tv together, reading more, learning new skills and hobbies.

So however hard this is being for us all, it has been such a blessing watching how it's changing people's lives, and for the better.  Please don't take this as me saying that people dying is for the better, it's not, but I'm talking about the world population in general, having to be forced to stop, to slow down and to learn to count on their families again.

We were all so busy before, had all these commitments, places to be and things to do.  Family and family bonds were starting to dwindle, everyone needed to be out spending money and doing things all the time.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I can only speak for myself, and give my opinion, but I am thankful to God for this season we are in.  We may not see the outcome right now, we may not even understand why any of this is happening, but I think we are about to see some huge miracles happen before our eyes, good things are going to come from this.

Anyway, that was my weekend.  Marley also got a bath today, which is always quite an interesting thing to witness.  He does not like baths so we have to wrangle him into the tub, all 85 pounds of him.  LOL

Oh we may have also stopped at our local Braums for some hot fudge sundaes.  We may, and we may have giggled like little kids as the 4 of us sat around the table enjoying that ice cream.   Last time I had ice cream was last year, so it had been a while.

 I am now going to watch a little bit of TV, then get some sleep as 5 AM comes around very quickly.

See you all in the morning :)

{ Day 12 of Quarantine/Day 7 of Shelter in Place - Bird watching }

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

- Joshua 1:9 -

It was another pretty slow and uneventful day.

I did laundry, cleaned the house, did the dishes and then sat for an hour or so while fixing dinner, watching the birds in my yard.

Every spring they come around, hundreds of them, they fill up both sides of my yard, and sit pecking at worms from the ground.

Then every once in a while, one just flies up, and they all follow suit.  It's quite comical watching them, they have no real set course to fly, but rather one goes and they all just go along.

Shortly after, they are back down again back to their business.

As I sat watching them, I couldn't help but think that in the middle of this huge pandemic, they have absolutely no idea what is happening.  To them, it's just another Spring day.

Makes me wish I was one of them at the moment, I think sometimes not knowing what is going on is better than being on top of things.  Don't get me wrong, it's good stay informed but there's also the risk of becoming obsessed with the news and driving yourself crazy.

I have limited my news watching to checking my local city news every morning, and then watching the President briefing every afternoon.  That's it, nothing else, nothing more.

While I was doing this bird watching, my wonderful husband was grocery shopping for me.  Thankfully he was able to find toilet paper today, but now we're playing the no chicken at all, game.

What is with that?

I honestly don't understand what is happening with the shortage of certain food items on the shelves, or the constant toilet paper issue.  It's hard enough dealing with a pandemic but if you are also having to deal with food shortages  or other essential item shortages, it can make things so much more difficult.

Anyway, I hope you are all doing well, hope you have food for yourselves and your families, and more importantly I hope you're staying indoors and keeping safe.

{ Day 11 of Quarantine/Day 6 of Shelter in Place - Horrid Allergies }

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today'."

- Exodus 14:13 -

It is getting harder and harder to stay indoors and not let that feeling of being confined, get to you.  It has become a matter of telling myself daily, that this will be over with soon, that this won't go on for too long.

I know what I'm saying is understood by you all, since we are in the same storm, going through pretty much the same situation.  In a way it makes me feel better to know that the whole world is in this together, it would be harder to accept if it was just our country going it alone.

Does it make this easier?  In a way yes, and in a way no, because as humans we tend to withdraw inside ourselves and not see anything but our immediate situation.  It does not make you a bad person or a self centered individual, it makes you of human flesh and blood.

So it's something I'm trying very hard not to allow.  Of course my family is my number one priority, but I also think about and pray for all my friends, blog readers, community, country and world.

Today, I didn't do much at all either. 

The reason?  Allergies.  They have been so bad the past few weeks, and they've made me feel pretty yucky.  Stuffy nose and headaches are the main culprit, but my right year is ringing again pretty loud and feeling quite stuffy too.  I don't know what it is with my allergies but since two years ago, they have decided to attack my ears. 

I've been taking my Allegra and Singulair and just getting by.

I did a bit more crochet today, I'm enjoying the simplicity and easiness of granny squares, and since Ive got so much time on my hands now, I'm working through my yarn stash.  A blanket is what I have in mind, but will I actually finish it or will it go on my long Works in Progress pile?

And don't laugh because I'm sure you all have a long WIPs stack as well.  Who doesn't?  Hahahah

I realize that my daily posts have been pretty short and not filled with anything exciting, but I think nowadays I will settle for boring and uneventful over the alternative.

I'm finishing my grocery list which my husband will take with him to work tomorrow, so that he can go grocery shopping at the base commissary after work.  I could go and I'm not in any way, not allowed to, but we've made the joint decision that there is no need for us all to be outdoors, and since he is already on base, it makes sense for him to pick up the groceries instead of putting me at risk.

So I'll finish that list tonight and then try to read a little.

Tomorrow, I was hoping to finally get my seedlings in the ground but we are expecting rain storms tonight and tomorrow, which means that plan is out the window. 

I'll probably work on baking some bread and cookies, and even though I wanted to carpet clean my living rooms, that is not going to work if it's a rainy and damp day.  Guess I'll have to find something else to occupy my time with.

Earlier this morning, I did another quick inventory of the freezer and pantry and reworked my monthly meal plan accordingly.  It's something I'll keep doing every other week, until all of this gets back to normal, whether that's the end of April or May or who knows. 

I want to close this post by wishing you all a blessed end of Thursday, and reminding you that God is already past this pandemic and waiting for us on the other side.  We know the outcome of this, we know that God wins, we know that this is His battle and not ours. 

But let's not forget to do our part, and I'm not just talking about the washing of the hands, or staying indoors and so on, I'm talking about praying, reading the Bible, comforting those who are having a really hard time with the situation and sharing our testimonies.

It is what we can do for ourselves and for others.

{ Day 10 of Quarantine/Day 5 of Shelter in Place - Full Day of Crochet }

The LORD is my light and my salvation - so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?

- Psalm 27:1 -

Day 10 and I've lost track of what day of the week it is.  I had no clue it was Wednesday until my husband told me this morning.  *sigh*

How are you all doing friends?  I so wish I could give everyone a huge hug right now, pray with you, talk, and support each other through these next few weeks.

Times are changing, I think we need to realize that we are heading into a completely new era and a new way of life, and though deep down I feel that once we get through this, it will be better than ever before, I do also feel that things may get quite tough before they get better.

And so we're in this limbo, and I'm trying extremely hard to stay busy, find things to do and push through it.  Today I gathered my crochet hooks and yarn, popped on the TV and sat with my Marley for a few hours.

It felt so good to feel that yarn between my fingers, to hold that cold crochet hook and to watch my project take shape before my eyes.  I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed crocheting.  I've always found it to be so calming and relaxing, and if there ever was a time for me to get back into it, it is now.

This wasn't a huge project, I had a few granny squares already made and just laying in one of my crochet baskets.  Sitting there, waiting, beckoning me every chance I walked by, to pick them up and do something with them.

I didn't have enough to make a blanket, though I have to say that looking at the colors I picked, I think a blanket in this color scheme would be gorgeous.  Maybe I need to order some yarn in these colors again and work on a blanket, during this time?

Hmmm!!!

I don't have anything else to share with you today, I think when you blog daily, there will be days that are quieter than others, and today was one of those.  I just want to be able to document these times, on a daily basis.  I think when we look back on this months, years down the line, it will be interesting to see what we did, how we got through and how we felt through this historic pandemic.

As always, I hope you are all staying safe.  For my blog friends in New York, especially, I am sending you so much love and prayers.  I am praying for the day we are told that this curve has been flattened, that our economy is back on track, that everyone is back to work, that we can get back to eating out, shopping in peace, not wondering if we can find toilet paper and other essentials.

We will get there, I have no doubt about that.  Until then, let's all do our part, stay home, stay safe and keep praying.

{ Day 7 of Quarantine/Day 2 of Shelter in Place - Spending Sunday outside }

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 4:6-7 -

Good afternoon :)

It is another beautiful day here in Texas.  Not as warm as it's been but just the perfect temperature to be outside in the yard.

Curt and I always try to do yard work, either early morning (mid summer), or during cooler days in early Spring.  Without being able to go to the stores or anywhere public, we have turned towards our property and yard work.

My Sunday started much like last week, sitting in bed, with a cup of coffee and attending online church.

Today's sermon was wonderful, as always. and reiterated a lot of what I've been saying from the beginning of this pandemic.

Aware but not Afraid!!!!   Amen!!!!

We are counting our blessings for being able to live surrounded by nature, which means we don't even have to leave our property and still manage to get a good walk in, see pretty things and enjoy the calmness around us.

For that moment in time, nothing matters, there are no fears, no scary news looming in the background and no thought of a virus anywhere around us. 

As we did yard work today, I snapped pictures here and there.  I also used my phone app to identify plants or trees we had not seen before, or didn't know what they were.

What a plethora of beauty we already have on our hands.  Whoever lived here previously, did a lot of work planting and surrounding the property line with a variety of plants, trees and flowers.

We have 2 Juniper trees on our property and I love them so much, but unfortunately it is one of the trees that I'm allergic too, so I try not to be around them for very long.  Still, I can admire their beauty through the camera lens.

I was quite surprised by this one.  Never noticed it before and it wasn't even hidden in an inconspicuous place.  It is in fact right along the front fence line of the house.  What caught my eye were the beautiful blossoms on the young tree.  I used my Plant identifying app and it told me that it is a Japanese Quince Tree.

Oh the joy I felt knowing that.  Although the Japanese Quince Tree is not as popular as the regular Quince tree, you can still eat the fruit and use it in jams and jellies.  Do you know that one of my favorite things on earth is our Portuguese Marmelada which is made from Quince fruit?  I can never find it anywhere, and can only really buy it online, but I'm definitely not doing that anytime soon.

Will be wonderful to see it actually start producing fruit.  We've been here for 5 years and it's never produced any, and research says that it produces the quince fruit between 2 to 5 years of being planted.  We will see!!!

I believe this one is Hawthorn but I'm not entirely sure.  For those of you more familiar with plants and able to identify them, if you recognize any of these, please let me know below in the comments.

We also have a Downy Oak tree which is so pretty when it starts turning green.

There is so much to see outdoors.  I love, just really and I mean really love being out in the fresh air.  We have a specific area in our property that is just surrounded by trees and bushes, and I often tell Curt that I feel like I'm walking through a Secret Garden. 

It is so peaceful, if you can just stand there for a few minutes, listening to the birds, watching the wind rustling through the leaves.  Pure peace!

I forgot to take photos on my camera, but we also found some Irises, about 10 of them in a cluster, growing behind some overgrown brush, right up against the fence line.

We immediately dug up around their roots, carefully removed them and some of their soil, and have moved them to the front of the house.  I can't wait to see them flowering. 

Slowly we will get this house looking the way we want it too.  It is a lot of work, but we both enjoy being outdoors and gardening, and right now, we have a lot of time on our hands, don't we?

I'll keep you all updated and will show you the progress as we go.

I finally managed to get a slot in for a Walmart pick up.  It's been near impossible, but I got a small order in, just a few things that we were running low on.  Milk, bread, potatoes, lettuce and then some chips, drinks, laundry pods and softener. 

As we brought the items in, we placed them directly on the chest freezer and I took every single one out of the bags, and using lysol wipes, wiped them all down, sprayed the bags with disinfecting spray before putting them away and then wiped the freezer down well, washed my hands and used hand sanitizer too.

Just can't be too careful nowadays, but I tell you, it's all so strange to me, this new normal.  I never in my life even thought of doing this, we would just grab the groceries, bring them in and move on with our lives.

Crazy!!!!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy a little visual tour around my yard.  I am now off to make some cheese tortellini for dinner, then grab a good shower, wash my hair and all that fun stuff.

Tomorrow is another day, another week of quarantine and shelter in place.   I am probably going to get all my seedlings in the ground, if the weather is not too hot or raining.  If I do I will definitely show you.

Until then, stay safe friends, blessings to you all.