{ Perspective - Quiet days indoors }

We have been indoors since March 18th, but it is beginning to feel like it's been the whole year of 2020.  As the world continues to turn outside, as everyone continues to battle this unseen enemy, as we are watching our days turning into weeks of staying home, it is easy to start feeling overwhelmed and smothered.

I'm a homebody, I love being in my home, and I am quite alright being on my own.  Generally.  But even I am starting to feel slightly cabin feverish.

So when I start feeling that way, I take a step back and shift my perspective from feeling as if I'm imprisoned, to feeling like God is showing us all a new normal, a new way of life.   He is at the forefront and center, where faith is our guiding light, and where our old normal is changing into a new much different, but better way of life.

As mentioned in previous posts, I believe that we are to take this time inside, to better ourselves, to learn a new skill, or perhaps to change our perception and perspectives about life in general.

See perception is a funny thing, we can both be staring at the same thing and be put into the exact same situation, and still come out feeling completely different.

When we change the way we look at things, we start embracing them.  Our stress starts diminishing, our thoughts are no longer clouded by negativity, and we begin experiencing life in a completely different way.

There are so many things that we can not do at the moment.  Things that would require being outdoors, or visiting certain stores for supplies.  The answer is not to sit in our homes worrying, thinking, watching the news continuously, and replaying in our minds what we used to have and what we were allowed to do before the lockdown began.

We have to accept the things which we can not change or have no control over, and turn them into creative, positive experiences.

Remember that He takes what the enemy meant for evil, and He turns it for good.

I don't want to look back in a few weeks, and realize that the time I was forced inside was wasted worrying or stressing.  I want to look back and be amazed at what I accomplished even while under certain limitations.

And so I move about my days with a purpose.  I don't let time dictate my schedule though, after all, there is nowhere to go and no appointments to keep.  In turn, I allow myself to do what I want to do, relearn old skills and research new ones.  Try new things, whether it be a new recipe for sourdough starter, or how to take care of a new to you plant.

I spend more time looking out my windows and discovering things I never knew.  Like the one species of bird that apparently has been living in my own backyard for years, yet I didn't realize it because I was always so busy running back and forth.

We lived in a way that pushed us to fill every second of our day with some sort of activity.  Children were enrolled in multiple extra curricular activities after school, and never really got the chance to slow down, to be kids.  I'm not saying that they should be indoors 24/7, but maybe find balance where before it didn't exist.

I used to struggle with being still, with resting, with being quiet or even reading a book.

Society makes you feel that unless you are being productive, or appearing to be productive, every minute of the day, you are a lazy person.  And so sitting down and doing nothing, was never an option, for the guilt of it was sometimes overbearing.

I've since changed my perspective, there's that word again.  I've taken it slow, I've moved about my days with no rush, doing the tasks that are needed with a slowness to them.  What I have learned is that it has taught me to appreciate everything I have, that much more.

I'm sipping tea or having an iced coffee, mid afternoon, without keeping an eye on the clock for fear of missing something or needing to be somewhere at a specific time.

I've been nursing my plants, giving them more attention and in turn, they have been growing beautifully as if thanking me for the time I'm giving them.

We are in a time where we need to embrace the simplicity of living.  I've often talked about living simply, taking an example out of our ancestors pages, and though living in modern times, trying to scale back at home, living within or means, living simply.

I did a small load of washing and I could have popped in the dryer to get quicker results.  Instead I chose to take it outside where the afternoon sun was brightly shining.  It would take about an hour for the clothes to be dried, but it made me appreciate the sun and the warmer temperatures, and the fact that a simple act of washing laundry could bring me so much joy.

I feel that we've been forced to take note of the things we had in our lives.  Those same things we saw as essential and very much needed a few weeks ago, are now some of the things we are being forced to live without, and yet we are surviving and some are even thriving in this new found slowness.

Maybe now is the time to think back on the things you surround yourself with, and when the country opens back up and we are back outside, with no restrictions, which of those things are you going to allow back into your space?

Baking bread, rolls and all sorts of goodies, has become a normal daily activity.  Family favorite recipes, and new to us recipes scoured on the internet and cookbooks.  Learning new techniques, polishing old ones and then sitting back and reaping the rewards.

I am facing each day as it comes, with no clear plan or routine in place.  I'm allowing myself to do whatever is needed at the moment, to shift some priorities to a later date, to put down that vacuum and play with my dog, or to set aside the pile of laundry to be ironed, for an hour on the bed, reading.

Our imposed downtime needs to be looked at as a pause.  Our bodies needed the rest, our minds needed refreshing and our souls needed replenishing.

I'm looking at this downtime as a way to be more resourceful.  If I cook a chicken, I make sure to save the broth for future meals.  As we clean up the yards and trim down tree branches, we chop them into firewood for when needed.

I cook meals that I don't make as often because they're time consuming, but all we have is time now so why not?

Things have been removed from our lives which leave a few with a feeling of not having enough, or doing without.  Again, perception!

It is a time to get creative, to expand our thinking, to use what we have in new ways and to learn to be resourceful.

To take the extra time to put together a meal, or to brew that cup of tea in an actual teapot, set a pretty table setting, and sip it while reading a favorite book.

It is not what we have but what we do with it.

I for one am finding a renewed zest for life.  I start each morning by thanking God for giving me breath and allowing me one more day with my family.  I am kicking out negative feelings the minute they start to creep in.  I'm enjoying that cheeky chocolate while sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing at all.

I'm listening to my children and in doing so, because we are not rushed, we are learning so much more about each other. 

I watch a storm roll in and see it develop overhead, taking notice of the clouds, the first lightning strike or the cracking boom that seems to shake us to the core. 

I'm taking notice of the birds chirping, watching them building their nests and then snuggling in to provide warmth and safety for their newly laid eggs.

For once in our lives, I am witnessing a quietness outdoors, fresh air that seems to fill our lungs to the max, wildlife happily living without fear.  It is a quietness that is balanced with the quietness in our homes and hearts.

It is balance, and that was very much needed in this world.

Perspective, perception, embrace it and grow through it. 

Very soon all of this will be in our past, but what we learn from it and take forward is what matters the most.

{ Day *whatever* of being stuck inside }

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

- 1 Peter 5:7 -

To be honest, I don't even know what to say.

I am still keeping my faith, I am still not worried or fearful, no matter how much I pray on this situation, I can't feel any kind of fear or panic.  I know that we are in the midst of a spiritual war and that it is out of our hands.  We have to sit back, keep praying and let everything else play out.

But with that said, I will tell you that this staying indoors thing is starting to become harder as the days go by.

My daughter is struggling with her depression and anxiety.  She was doing really well, and that was mainly due to her going to work and being busy and around her friends and coworkers.  Being stuck inside is becoming harder for her.

I know that this is the case for many many others out there who struggle with mental illness.  If only for that alone, I pray fervently that this resolves itself very soon.

I've been spending my days trying to keep my house calm and relaxing.  I've baked and cooked, burned incense and candles, played soft music and worship songs, read, watched TV, sewed and spent time in the garden.

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday, the time just got away from me, and Nick and I were also busy working on an English Essay paper.

I have received 3 more books to review, including this one called Administrations of Lunacy.  I am not one to usually read books about racism or anything that is too deep or thought provoking.  That probably makes me sound incredibly shallow, but I choose to read books that are lighter material.

However, the whole premise of psychiatry fascinates me and I'm quite looking forward to reading this one.

The other book that came in was Simon the Fiddler by Paulette Jiles.  I reviewed another Paulette Jiles book a few months ago, called News of the World, and quite enjoyed her writing style.  This one takes place at the end of the Civil War, in Texas.

Baking has been a way to relax as well.  When I get into the kitchen and start working with ingredients, creating meals or sweet treats, it makes me take a step back from the chaos around and focus on something other than bad news.

The garden is starting to come together.  We have started adding some planters to my pallet wall, vegetables and herbs are growing in the garden and we're still trying to get the greenhouse finished.

You know gardening is a learning experience, and just when you think you know what you're doing, it throws you for a loop.  The greenhouse structure is finished, but we started by going with plastic to cover it, after researching online for various methods of enclosing it. 

What we didn't count on are the high winds here in Texas, which completely ripped it apart over the last few weeks.  Our next choice is to use a sort of plexi glass, but unfortunately when this all came about was right before the country shut down.  So now, we are stuck waiting to look into that as soon as we can so that the greenhouse can be covered, and finished.

Cups of hot coffee have kept me going. 

I find that even standing back and watching the smoke coming out of the coffee cup, is relaxing. 

Even though things are tough at the moment, I thank God that we were forced to stop and literally smell the coffee.  We have forgotten the small things, they tend to get lost in the day day rat race of life, don't they?

The next few days I'll be busy getting ready for my boy's 17th birthday and Easter on Sunday.

They are both important dates to me, that are going to be celebrated a little different this year, more reminiscent of the time when we were active duty.  The past 6 years we have been blessed with having family nearby to celebrate these days, we gather together, we enjoy yummy food and laughs and good chats.

Even though it will be slightly different this time around, it is ok.  We will make it as special as we always have.  I am thankful that I spent 20 plus years as a military wife.  Being far from family taught us to count on each other and to be ok with it just being the 4 of us.  I think in a way I'm actually looking forward to a quiet birthday and Easter, very much like the ones we used to have. 

Will be dyeing eggs, making a birthday cake and a yummy Easter meal too. 

I have a feeling that this Easter is going to be more special than ever, and maybe just maybe we will see a miracle play out before our eyes. 

{ Day 13 and 14 of Quarantine/Day 8 and 9 Shelter in Place }

"For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

- Isaiah 41:13 -

 I wanted to post daily but, I realized that I needed a step back this weekend.

Now, don't panic, I don't mean that I'm not going to continue doing the daily posts, but I may just do a weekend post instead of a Saturday and Sunday one.  Even though we are at home every day, weekends are usually busy for Curt and I, in the sense that we take that time to do a lot of yard work.

The weather has been amazing, today we had temperatures in the high 60's and cloudy skies, which meant we were able to finally get the plants, veg and herbs into the ground, dig up some areas, prepare others, clean up debris and so on.

We love it so much and we often tell each other how grateful we are to be able to call this our home.  It's such a blessing knowing that this is our home, that we are creating our own space and doing what we want to without having to ask for permission or knowing that whatever we do we may have to change back.

Now let me show what I've been up to this weekend.......

♥♥Saturday♥♥

The weather was a bit off yesterday and it rained on and off so all our yard plans were postponed until Sunday.

What that meant was either relaxing or finding something constructive and fun to do.  I decided to pull out my fabric and start making myself and Jasmine some face masks, in case we need to go out at all.

There are a ton, and I mean a ton of tutorials online.  I took a quick look and they were all pretty much the same.  These are very simple to make and you only need to have very basic sewing skills.

I quickly cut out the fabric, lined them with some lightweight interfacing as a filter and got on the sewing machine.  These came together very quickly,  and I'm so thrilled with the results.  I will be making more this coming week, because even though these are fully washable, I just love the different patterns and think the less I wash and rewash, the better.

I will show you all how they look when they're done.  But, if you are wanting to make some yourself, be sure to do a quick google search, there are very easy tutorials out there.


♥♥Sunday♥♥

I wish I had gotten more photos today, but I got so busy digging and planting that I didn't have a chance to grab the camera.  That and truthfully, when you're in the garden digging, messing with dirt and water and so on, you don't want a camera nearby.  I will however get some photos tomorrow.

Was finally able to start my potatoes.  I only have these 4 potatoes, but that is ok, I've never planted potatoes before and have no clue if they will even work.

Also into the ground went Tomatoes, Okra, Spinach, Beans, Zucchini Squash, Green Onions and Lettuce.  Cilantro, Parsley, Basil, Spearmint and Chives have also been placed on my pallet garden {again, pictures coming tomorrow }

And I also planted some cuttings that I had taken from my sister in law and brother's house.  They grew roots and were doing wonderful in the pots, but I needed to get them in the ground.  I threw in some pretty flowers from seed as well, and I also got my Lavender started.

When you look at your garden when it's starting, it's not a very pretty sight, but we have been working so hard to get everything looking the way we want it and I'm looking forward to seeing it all come to life.

Washed a ton of dishes, cleaned the kitchen and made a frozen pizza for lunch.  We worked outside for a few hours and by the time we came in, we were starving.

Also washed all the produce and filled the fruit bowl.

In the afternoon, my husband and I made a quick trip to town.  Our daughter had bought a birthday present for her brother and it was to be picked up at Best Buy.  They are not open but do curbside pickup.  We grabbed that and then headed to Walmart for my grocery pickup.

This whole situation has been so incredibly weird for me.  I'm used to heading to the commissary every two weeks and getting my groceries, now it's become a mixture of my husband picking up groceries from the commissary, after he leaves work, and me putting in a walmart order for pickup.

I'm having to find new ways of shopping and it's taken some getting used to.  I'm basically getting some things here and some things there and still never quite able to get everything I am looking for.

But you know, all of this is being a huge lesson as well.

I am seeing so many starting to meal plan where they never used to before.  Families are sharing dinner at the table, chatting and going for walks around their neighborhood.  They're watching tv together, reading more, learning new skills and hobbies.

So however hard this is being for us all, it has been such a blessing watching how it's changing people's lives, and for the better.  Please don't take this as me saying that people dying is for the better, it's not, but I'm talking about the world population in general, having to be forced to stop, to slow down and to learn to count on their families again.

We were all so busy before, had all these commitments, places to be and things to do.  Family and family bonds were starting to dwindle, everyone needed to be out spending money and doing things all the time.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I can only speak for myself, and give my opinion, but I am thankful to God for this season we are in.  We may not see the outcome right now, we may not even understand why any of this is happening, but I think we are about to see some huge miracles happen before our eyes, good things are going to come from this.

Anyway, that was my weekend.  Marley also got a bath today, which is always quite an interesting thing to witness.  He does not like baths so we have to wrangle him into the tub, all 85 pounds of him.  LOL

Oh we may have also stopped at our local Braums for some hot fudge sundaes.  We may, and we may have giggled like little kids as the 4 of us sat around the table enjoying that ice cream.   Last time I had ice cream was last year, so it had been a while.

 I am now going to watch a little bit of TV, then get some sleep as 5 AM comes around very quickly.

See you all in the morning :)

{ Day 12 of Quarantine/Day 7 of Shelter in Place - Bird watching }

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

- Joshua 1:9 -

It was another pretty slow and uneventful day.

I did laundry, cleaned the house, did the dishes and then sat for an hour or so while fixing dinner, watching the birds in my yard.

Every spring they come around, hundreds of them, they fill up both sides of my yard, and sit pecking at worms from the ground.

Then every once in a while, one just flies up, and they all follow suit.  It's quite comical watching them, they have no real set course to fly, but rather one goes and they all just go along.

Shortly after, they are back down again back to their business.

As I sat watching them, I couldn't help but think that in the middle of this huge pandemic, they have absolutely no idea what is happening.  To them, it's just another Spring day.

Makes me wish I was one of them at the moment, I think sometimes not knowing what is going on is better than being on top of things.  Don't get me wrong, it's good stay informed but there's also the risk of becoming obsessed with the news and driving yourself crazy.

I have limited my news watching to checking my local city news every morning, and then watching the President briefing every afternoon.  That's it, nothing else, nothing more.

While I was doing this bird watching, my wonderful husband was grocery shopping for me.  Thankfully he was able to find toilet paper today, but now we're playing the no chicken at all, game.

What is with that?

I honestly don't understand what is happening with the shortage of certain food items on the shelves, or the constant toilet paper issue.  It's hard enough dealing with a pandemic but if you are also having to deal with food shortages  or other essential item shortages, it can make things so much more difficult.

Anyway, I hope you are all doing well, hope you have food for yourselves and your families, and more importantly I hope you're staying indoors and keeping safe.

{ Day 11 of Quarantine/Day 6 of Shelter in Place - Horrid Allergies }

"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today'."

- Exodus 14:13 -

It is getting harder and harder to stay indoors and not let that feeling of being confined, get to you.  It has become a matter of telling myself daily, that this will be over with soon, that this won't go on for too long.

I know what I'm saying is understood by you all, since we are in the same storm, going through pretty much the same situation.  In a way it makes me feel better to know that the whole world is in this together, it would be harder to accept if it was just our country going it alone.

Does it make this easier?  In a way yes, and in a way no, because as humans we tend to withdraw inside ourselves and not see anything but our immediate situation.  It does not make you a bad person or a self centered individual, it makes you of human flesh and blood.

So it's something I'm trying very hard not to allow.  Of course my family is my number one priority, but I also think about and pray for all my friends, blog readers, community, country and world.

Today, I didn't do much at all either. 

The reason?  Allergies.  They have been so bad the past few weeks, and they've made me feel pretty yucky.  Stuffy nose and headaches are the main culprit, but my right year is ringing again pretty loud and feeling quite stuffy too.  I don't know what it is with my allergies but since two years ago, they have decided to attack my ears. 

I've been taking my Allegra and Singulair and just getting by.

I did a bit more crochet today, I'm enjoying the simplicity and easiness of granny squares, and since Ive got so much time on my hands now, I'm working through my yarn stash.  A blanket is what I have in mind, but will I actually finish it or will it go on my long Works in Progress pile?

And don't laugh because I'm sure you all have a long WIPs stack as well.  Who doesn't?  Hahahah

I realize that my daily posts have been pretty short and not filled with anything exciting, but I think nowadays I will settle for boring and uneventful over the alternative.

I'm finishing my grocery list which my husband will take with him to work tomorrow, so that he can go grocery shopping at the base commissary after work.  I could go and I'm not in any way, not allowed to, but we've made the joint decision that there is no need for us all to be outdoors, and since he is already on base, it makes sense for him to pick up the groceries instead of putting me at risk.

So I'll finish that list tonight and then try to read a little.

Tomorrow, I was hoping to finally get my seedlings in the ground but we are expecting rain storms tonight and tomorrow, which means that plan is out the window. 

I'll probably work on baking some bread and cookies, and even though I wanted to carpet clean my living rooms, that is not going to work if it's a rainy and damp day.  Guess I'll have to find something else to occupy my time with.

Earlier this morning, I did another quick inventory of the freezer and pantry and reworked my monthly meal plan accordingly.  It's something I'll keep doing every other week, until all of this gets back to normal, whether that's the end of April or May or who knows. 

I want to close this post by wishing you all a blessed end of Thursday, and reminding you that God is already past this pandemic and waiting for us on the other side.  We know the outcome of this, we know that God wins, we know that this is His battle and not ours. 

But let's not forget to do our part, and I'm not just talking about the washing of the hands, or staying indoors and so on, I'm talking about praying, reading the Bible, comforting those who are having a really hard time with the situation and sharing our testimonies.

It is what we can do for ourselves and for others.

{ Day 10 of Quarantine/Day 5 of Shelter in Place - Full Day of Crochet }

The LORD is my light and my salvation - so why should I be afraid? The LORD is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?

- Psalm 27:1 -

Day 10 and I've lost track of what day of the week it is.  I had no clue it was Wednesday until my husband told me this morning.  *sigh*

How are you all doing friends?  I so wish I could give everyone a huge hug right now, pray with you, talk, and support each other through these next few weeks.

Times are changing, I think we need to realize that we are heading into a completely new era and a new way of life, and though deep down I feel that once we get through this, it will be better than ever before, I do also feel that things may get quite tough before they get better.

And so we're in this limbo, and I'm trying extremely hard to stay busy, find things to do and push through it.  Today I gathered my crochet hooks and yarn, popped on the TV and sat with my Marley for a few hours.

It felt so good to feel that yarn between my fingers, to hold that cold crochet hook and to watch my project take shape before my eyes.  I had forgotten just how much I enjoyed crocheting.  I've always found it to be so calming and relaxing, and if there ever was a time for me to get back into it, it is now.

This wasn't a huge project, I had a few granny squares already made and just laying in one of my crochet baskets.  Sitting there, waiting, beckoning me every chance I walked by, to pick them up and do something with them.

I didn't have enough to make a blanket, though I have to say that looking at the colors I picked, I think a blanket in this color scheme would be gorgeous.  Maybe I need to order some yarn in these colors again and work on a blanket, during this time?

Hmmm!!!

I don't have anything else to share with you today, I think when you blog daily, there will be days that are quieter than others, and today was one of those.  I just want to be able to document these times, on a daily basis.  I think when we look back on this months, years down the line, it will be interesting to see what we did, how we got through and how we felt through this historic pandemic.

As always, I hope you are all staying safe.  For my blog friends in New York, especially, I am sending you so much love and prayers.  I am praying for the day we are told that this curve has been flattened, that our economy is back on track, that everyone is back to work, that we can get back to eating out, shopping in peace, not wondering if we can find toilet paper and other essentials.

We will get there, I have no doubt about that.  Until then, let's all do our part, stay home, stay safe and keep praying.