{ Perspective - Quiet days indoors }

We have been indoors since March 18th, but it is beginning to feel like it's been the whole year of 2020.  As the world continues to turn outside, as everyone continues to battle this unseen enemy, as we are watching our days turning into weeks of staying home, it is easy to start feeling overwhelmed and smothered.

I'm a homebody, I love being in my home, and I am quite alright being on my own.  Generally.  But even I am starting to feel slightly cabin feverish.

So when I start feeling that way, I take a step back and shift my perspective from feeling as if I'm imprisoned, to feeling like God is showing us all a new normal, a new way of life.   He is at the forefront and center, where faith is our guiding light, and where our old normal is changing into a new much different, but better way of life.

As mentioned in previous posts, I believe that we are to take this time inside, to better ourselves, to learn a new skill, or perhaps to change our perception and perspectives about life in general.

See perception is a funny thing, we can both be staring at the same thing and be put into the exact same situation, and still come out feeling completely different.

When we change the way we look at things, we start embracing them.  Our stress starts diminishing, our thoughts are no longer clouded by negativity, and we begin experiencing life in a completely different way.

There are so many things that we can not do at the moment.  Things that would require being outdoors, or visiting certain stores for supplies.  The answer is not to sit in our homes worrying, thinking, watching the news continuously, and replaying in our minds what we used to have and what we were allowed to do before the lockdown began.

We have to accept the things which we can not change or have no control over, and turn them into creative, positive experiences.

Remember that He takes what the enemy meant for evil, and He turns it for good.

I don't want to look back in a few weeks, and realize that the time I was forced inside was wasted worrying or stressing.  I want to look back and be amazed at what I accomplished even while under certain limitations.

And so I move about my days with a purpose.  I don't let time dictate my schedule though, after all, there is nowhere to go and no appointments to keep.  In turn, I allow myself to do what I want to do, relearn old skills and research new ones.  Try new things, whether it be a new recipe for sourdough starter, or how to take care of a new to you plant.

I spend more time looking out my windows and discovering things I never knew.  Like the one species of bird that apparently has been living in my own backyard for years, yet I didn't realize it because I was always so busy running back and forth.

We lived in a way that pushed us to fill every second of our day with some sort of activity.  Children were enrolled in multiple extra curricular activities after school, and never really got the chance to slow down, to be kids.  I'm not saying that they should be indoors 24/7, but maybe find balance where before it didn't exist.

I used to struggle with being still, with resting, with being quiet or even reading a book.

Society makes you feel that unless you are being productive, or appearing to be productive, every minute of the day, you are a lazy person.  And so sitting down and doing nothing, was never an option, for the guilt of it was sometimes overbearing.

I've since changed my perspective, there's that word again.  I've taken it slow, I've moved about my days with no rush, doing the tasks that are needed with a slowness to them.  What I have learned is that it has taught me to appreciate everything I have, that much more.

I'm sipping tea or having an iced coffee, mid afternoon, without keeping an eye on the clock for fear of missing something or needing to be somewhere at a specific time.

I've been nursing my plants, giving them more attention and in turn, they have been growing beautifully as if thanking me for the time I'm giving them.

We are in a time where we need to embrace the simplicity of living.  I've often talked about living simply, taking an example out of our ancestors pages, and though living in modern times, trying to scale back at home, living within or means, living simply.

I did a small load of washing and I could have popped in the dryer to get quicker results.  Instead I chose to take it outside where the afternoon sun was brightly shining.  It would take about an hour for the clothes to be dried, but it made me appreciate the sun and the warmer temperatures, and the fact that a simple act of washing laundry could bring me so much joy.

I feel that we've been forced to take note of the things we had in our lives.  Those same things we saw as essential and very much needed a few weeks ago, are now some of the things we are being forced to live without, and yet we are surviving and some are even thriving in this new found slowness.

Maybe now is the time to think back on the things you surround yourself with, and when the country opens back up and we are back outside, with no restrictions, which of those things are you going to allow back into your space?

Baking bread, rolls and all sorts of goodies, has become a normal daily activity.  Family favorite recipes, and new to us recipes scoured on the internet and cookbooks.  Learning new techniques, polishing old ones and then sitting back and reaping the rewards.

I am facing each day as it comes, with no clear plan or routine in place.  I'm allowing myself to do whatever is needed at the moment, to shift some priorities to a later date, to put down that vacuum and play with my dog, or to set aside the pile of laundry to be ironed, for an hour on the bed, reading.

Our imposed downtime needs to be looked at as a pause.  Our bodies needed the rest, our minds needed refreshing and our souls needed replenishing.

I'm looking at this downtime as a way to be more resourceful.  If I cook a chicken, I make sure to save the broth for future meals.  As we clean up the yards and trim down tree branches, we chop them into firewood for when needed.

I cook meals that I don't make as often because they're time consuming, but all we have is time now so why not?

Things have been removed from our lives which leave a few with a feeling of not having enough, or doing without.  Again, perception!

It is a time to get creative, to expand our thinking, to use what we have in new ways and to learn to be resourceful.

To take the extra time to put together a meal, or to brew that cup of tea in an actual teapot, set a pretty table setting, and sip it while reading a favorite book.

It is not what we have but what we do with it.

I for one am finding a renewed zest for life.  I start each morning by thanking God for giving me breath and allowing me one more day with my family.  I am kicking out negative feelings the minute they start to creep in.  I'm enjoying that cheeky chocolate while sitting on the couch doing absolutely nothing at all.

I'm listening to my children and in doing so, because we are not rushed, we are learning so much more about each other. 

I watch a storm roll in and see it develop overhead, taking notice of the clouds, the first lightning strike or the cracking boom that seems to shake us to the core. 

I'm taking notice of the birds chirping, watching them building their nests and then snuggling in to provide warmth and safety for their newly laid eggs.

For once in our lives, I am witnessing a quietness outdoors, fresh air that seems to fill our lungs to the max, wildlife happily living without fear.  It is a quietness that is balanced with the quietness in our homes and hearts.

It is balance, and that was very much needed in this world.

Perspective, perception, embrace it and grow through it. 

Very soon all of this will be in our past, but what we learn from it and take forward is what matters the most.

{ In the midst of the storm, finding our balance is essential }

The storm around us seems to be ongoing.  Some areas are seeing the end of it, others are still very much in the middle of it's chaos, and it's becoming increasingly hard for people to stay strong and to power through it.

Life has become an uncertainty.  Things we were used to are no longer the same, and I don't even mean big things, but even the small act of going grocery shopping has become an ongoing battle.

The things we took for granted are the things that we now look back on fondly, miss, and wonder if we will ever be able to fully go back to doing them.

This past week has been a week of reflection for me.

I started this week thinking that I was going to be blogging every day, taking a lot of photos, doing some projects around the house, maybe even get into my spring cleaning, after all, now is the time to do it since we have so much time on our hands.

But as the week moved on, I quickly realized that I needed some time to digest it all.

I don't quite think that I really took it all in.  Before I go on let me say though, I'm fully aware of the severity of the situation, I'm not in denial by no means, shape or form, and I have not worried or been fearful about it, from the beginning.

However, this week, I started mulling it all in my head and thinking about the situation we find ourselves in, and it's quite a strange feeling realizing that you are at home, with no control over anything and just waiting for it all to end.

Because as the days turn into weeks, and we are now about to go into a month and a half of shelter in place, I find myself feeling a little discombobulated with it all.  I just want to know when it will end, when life will go back to the way it was, when we can freely move about and do what we need to do and not think about masks, or hand sanitizer and trying to remember what you touched when you were out or where you were.

So the past few days, I've stepped back and let God put in my heart, what He needs me to do, think, and be through these days ahead.

The word that continuously came into my mind was balance.

Finding balance.

Knowing what we can't change, and working on the things that we can.  Letting go of what we can't control, and taking control of those we can.

I almost have to laugh, because it's a lesson that God has been working on me, for so many years, my entire adult life to be fair.  He has tried to teach me this lesson and I've always struggled, until very recently, within the past year or so, where I've started to actually listen and leave it in His hands.

It's hard, oh my gosh is it hard, but I am happier and calmer than I've ever been.

So where does the balance come in?

I think that we need to be in the moment, knowing what is going on around us and in our country, but we need to balance that out with what our lives are inside our homes.  Where chaos and uncertainty may run rampant outdoors, inside we need to create an atmosphere of love, of cozy, of safety not only for our families but ourselves as well.

When I am going out of my house, which has been very, and I mean very few times this past month, 2 or 3 to be exact, and I didn't leave my car at any of these outings either, I have to be in the moment, which means conscious of where I am, what I'm doing, wearing a mask and so on.

But the minute I step inside, the balance shifts to being calm, joyful and relaxed.

Now is the time to learn a new skill, to pull your old sewing machine back out (and you don't have to be making just masks, make something for your home, or an article of clothing for yourself, your kids or husband ).

Start that sourdough starter you've been wanting to try for so long.  Light a candle, read a book, clean, organize, start a new project, renovate, watch a movie with your kids, bake with them.

There has to be balance in our lives.

We can't just be worried and panicked, living with nothing but thoughts of the virus and impending doom over our heads, same way that we can't bury our heads in the sand, shut out front doors and live like nothing is happening out there.

Balance, again that word just kept hammering in my mind.

I think I'm going to work very hard at putting balance back into my life.  I hope you think about it too and see if there needs to be something you should be doing, to create a safe haven for yourself and your family, away from the serious battle raging outside.

In other news, and quickly changing subjects, I received a gift that my Jasmine ordered for me as an early Mother's Day present.  She knows me very well, and I think when you see what it is, you will also know that it's perfect for me.

A new Cath Kidston bag.  Isn't it absolutely gorgeous?  It can be worn as a cross body bag, or just as a normal handbag.  Totally up my alley, totally me and I couldn't wait to wear it out today.

Which I did, as I had my mammogram appointment.  How is that time of the year again?  Didn't I just have a mammogram a few months ago?  Hahahah

I swear I am so lost on time right now. 

Anyway, Jasmine went with me as she needed to talk to someone at the hospital about her insurance and so on.

The way the hospital is conducting appointments now, is that when you pull into the parking lot and park your car, you then have to call the mammography imaging department and let them know you have arrived.  In order not to have too many people in the waiting rooms and keeping social distancing rules, they will then call you back and let you know when you can head in and check into the hospital.

We didn't have to wait, as they were ready for me, so we headed right in. There were two nurses and a security officer outside the door to the main lobby.  We had our temperature taken, were asked a few questions and then an orange bracelet was slipped around our wrist to show that we were not sick.

Definitely a big change from the previous visits, but that's ok, I am glad they have these checkpoints before entering the hospital.

I'm just glad I got the mammogram out of the way, and of course now we wait for the results, which should be in by Monday morning.

My review book shelf is filling up again, so many good books coming in.  The Ancestor will be reviewed and on tour next week, and I'm starting Simon the Fiddler this weekend. 

This weekend I have my usual homemaking chores to do, but also picking up our groceries at Walmart in the morning, and going to the local butcher as well.  I am hoping they have chicken, we haven't had much chicken at all for weeks, it's hard to find in the grocery stores.

Hopefully there will be more gardening, some shelving going up in the house and whatever else we can get to.

I hope you are all having a good Friday and that you're finding that balance in the middle of all this.

May God continue to bless you and watch over you, and your families.
♥♥♥♥♥♥

{ Day *whatever* of being stuck inside }

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

- 1 Peter 5:7 -

To be honest, I don't even know what to say.

I am still keeping my faith, I am still not worried or fearful, no matter how much I pray on this situation, I can't feel any kind of fear or panic.  I know that we are in the midst of a spiritual war and that it is out of our hands.  We have to sit back, keep praying and let everything else play out.

But with that said, I will tell you that this staying indoors thing is starting to become harder as the days go by.

My daughter is struggling with her depression and anxiety.  She was doing really well, and that was mainly due to her going to work and being busy and around her friends and coworkers.  Being stuck inside is becoming harder for her.

I know that this is the case for many many others out there who struggle with mental illness.  If only for that alone, I pray fervently that this resolves itself very soon.

I've been spending my days trying to keep my house calm and relaxing.  I've baked and cooked, burned incense and candles, played soft music and worship songs, read, watched TV, sewed and spent time in the garden.

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday, the time just got away from me, and Nick and I were also busy working on an English Essay paper.

I have received 3 more books to review, including this one called Administrations of Lunacy.  I am not one to usually read books about racism or anything that is too deep or thought provoking.  That probably makes me sound incredibly shallow, but I choose to read books that are lighter material.

However, the whole premise of psychiatry fascinates me and I'm quite looking forward to reading this one.

The other book that came in was Simon the Fiddler by Paulette Jiles.  I reviewed another Paulette Jiles book a few months ago, called News of the World, and quite enjoyed her writing style.  This one takes place at the end of the Civil War, in Texas.

Baking has been a way to relax as well.  When I get into the kitchen and start working with ingredients, creating meals or sweet treats, it makes me take a step back from the chaos around and focus on something other than bad news.

The garden is starting to come together.  We have started adding some planters to my pallet wall, vegetables and herbs are growing in the garden and we're still trying to get the greenhouse finished.

You know gardening is a learning experience, and just when you think you know what you're doing, it throws you for a loop.  The greenhouse structure is finished, but we started by going with plastic to cover it, after researching online for various methods of enclosing it. 

What we didn't count on are the high winds here in Texas, which completely ripped it apart over the last few weeks.  Our next choice is to use a sort of plexi glass, but unfortunately when this all came about was right before the country shut down.  So now, we are stuck waiting to look into that as soon as we can so that the greenhouse can be covered, and finished.

Cups of hot coffee have kept me going. 

I find that even standing back and watching the smoke coming out of the coffee cup, is relaxing. 

Even though things are tough at the moment, I thank God that we were forced to stop and literally smell the coffee.  We have forgotten the small things, they tend to get lost in the day day rat race of life, don't they?

The next few days I'll be busy getting ready for my boy's 17th birthday and Easter on Sunday.

They are both important dates to me, that are going to be celebrated a little different this year, more reminiscent of the time when we were active duty.  The past 6 years we have been blessed with having family nearby to celebrate these days, we gather together, we enjoy yummy food and laughs and good chats.

Even though it will be slightly different this time around, it is ok.  We will make it as special as we always have.  I am thankful that I spent 20 plus years as a military wife.  Being far from family taught us to count on each other and to be ok with it just being the 4 of us.  I think in a way I'm actually looking forward to a quiet birthday and Easter, very much like the ones we used to have. 

Will be dyeing eggs, making a birthday cake and a yummy Easter meal too. 

I have a feeling that this Easter is going to be more special than ever, and maybe just maybe we will see a miracle play out before our eyes. 

{ Day 13 and 14 of Quarantine/Day 8 and 9 Shelter in Place }

"For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."

- Isaiah 41:13 -

 I wanted to post daily but, I realized that I needed a step back this weekend.

Now, don't panic, I don't mean that I'm not going to continue doing the daily posts, but I may just do a weekend post instead of a Saturday and Sunday one.  Even though we are at home every day, weekends are usually busy for Curt and I, in the sense that we take that time to do a lot of yard work.

The weather has been amazing, today we had temperatures in the high 60's and cloudy skies, which meant we were able to finally get the plants, veg and herbs into the ground, dig up some areas, prepare others, clean up debris and so on.

We love it so much and we often tell each other how grateful we are to be able to call this our home.  It's such a blessing knowing that this is our home, that we are creating our own space and doing what we want to without having to ask for permission or knowing that whatever we do we may have to change back.

Now let me show what I've been up to this weekend.......

♥♥Saturday♥♥

The weather was a bit off yesterday and it rained on and off so all our yard plans were postponed until Sunday.

What that meant was either relaxing or finding something constructive and fun to do.  I decided to pull out my fabric and start making myself and Jasmine some face masks, in case we need to go out at all.

There are a ton, and I mean a ton of tutorials online.  I took a quick look and they were all pretty much the same.  These are very simple to make and you only need to have very basic sewing skills.

I quickly cut out the fabric, lined them with some lightweight interfacing as a filter and got on the sewing machine.  These came together very quickly,  and I'm so thrilled with the results.  I will be making more this coming week, because even though these are fully washable, I just love the different patterns and think the less I wash and rewash, the better.

I will show you all how they look when they're done.  But, if you are wanting to make some yourself, be sure to do a quick google search, there are very easy tutorials out there.


♥♥Sunday♥♥

I wish I had gotten more photos today, but I got so busy digging and planting that I didn't have a chance to grab the camera.  That and truthfully, when you're in the garden digging, messing with dirt and water and so on, you don't want a camera nearby.  I will however get some photos tomorrow.

Was finally able to start my potatoes.  I only have these 4 potatoes, but that is ok, I've never planted potatoes before and have no clue if they will even work.

Also into the ground went Tomatoes, Okra, Spinach, Beans, Zucchini Squash, Green Onions and Lettuce.  Cilantro, Parsley, Basil, Spearmint and Chives have also been placed on my pallet garden {again, pictures coming tomorrow }

And I also planted some cuttings that I had taken from my sister in law and brother's house.  They grew roots and were doing wonderful in the pots, but I needed to get them in the ground.  I threw in some pretty flowers from seed as well, and I also got my Lavender started.

When you look at your garden when it's starting, it's not a very pretty sight, but we have been working so hard to get everything looking the way we want it and I'm looking forward to seeing it all come to life.

Washed a ton of dishes, cleaned the kitchen and made a frozen pizza for lunch.  We worked outside for a few hours and by the time we came in, we were starving.

Also washed all the produce and filled the fruit bowl.

In the afternoon, my husband and I made a quick trip to town.  Our daughter had bought a birthday present for her brother and it was to be picked up at Best Buy.  They are not open but do curbside pickup.  We grabbed that and then headed to Walmart for my grocery pickup.

This whole situation has been so incredibly weird for me.  I'm used to heading to the commissary every two weeks and getting my groceries, now it's become a mixture of my husband picking up groceries from the commissary, after he leaves work, and me putting in a walmart order for pickup.

I'm having to find new ways of shopping and it's taken some getting used to.  I'm basically getting some things here and some things there and still never quite able to get everything I am looking for.

But you know, all of this is being a huge lesson as well.

I am seeing so many starting to meal plan where they never used to before.  Families are sharing dinner at the table, chatting and going for walks around their neighborhood.  They're watching tv together, reading more, learning new skills and hobbies.

So however hard this is being for us all, it has been such a blessing watching how it's changing people's lives, and for the better.  Please don't take this as me saying that people dying is for the better, it's not, but I'm talking about the world population in general, having to be forced to stop, to slow down and to learn to count on their families again.

We were all so busy before, had all these commitments, places to be and things to do.  Family and family bonds were starting to dwindle, everyone needed to be out spending money and doing things all the time.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I can only speak for myself, and give my opinion, but I am thankful to God for this season we are in.  We may not see the outcome right now, we may not even understand why any of this is happening, but I think we are about to see some huge miracles happen before our eyes, good things are going to come from this.

Anyway, that was my weekend.  Marley also got a bath today, which is always quite an interesting thing to witness.  He does not like baths so we have to wrangle him into the tub, all 85 pounds of him.  LOL

Oh we may have also stopped at our local Braums for some hot fudge sundaes.  We may, and we may have giggled like little kids as the 4 of us sat around the table enjoying that ice cream.   Last time I had ice cream was last year, so it had been a while.

 I am now going to watch a little bit of TV, then get some sleep as 5 AM comes around very quickly.

See you all in the morning :)