Born in 1906 in Lourenco Marques, Mozambique. Ema dos Santos, daughter of Dario and Maria do Patrocinio, was my paternal great grandmother, and a woman that molded me into the homemaker that I am today.
Not to say that the other women in my family didn't, but she had the most influence in my life.
She didn't have an early happy childhood. She was born in 1906 and 4 years later, her mother Maria died of cancer, leaving her alone with her father and older brother. I don't remember his name, and I wish I did, but I only remember her younger brother's name which was Pompeu.
She would tell me the stories of sitting at her mother's bedside, in a hospital where all the nurses were nuns. She didn't understand what was happening and thought her mother would return home, but she didn't. In the beginning if was just her, her older brother and her father. At the young age of 8, she became the homemaker and caretaker of them both. She would tell me the stories of cleaning the house, making the meals, and how at night when she had to use the bathroom, she had to take a candle and go across the yard to the outhouse, always scared but she didn't want to show her fear, and so she just went about her business and then ran back into the house.
Her older brother was much older than her, early twenties. He loved fishing, and would often go for long periods of time, one of his favorite places was sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean. One day, while out fishing, a storm rolled in and he was struck by lightning and killed. She was heartbroken, she had now lost her mother and brother. But tragedy wouldn't end just there, her father remarried and that is when her younger brother Pompeu was born.
She would often say that she got along with her stepmother, she was a kind woman to her, and she loved her little brother and grew quite close to him.
When she was 13 years old, she returned home from school one afternoon, and found her father hanging in the bedroom. He had taken his own life. I couldn't fathom such grief and such heartbreak and loss for a child so young. At 13 she had practically lost everyone.
At 16, she was married to a 29 year old, my great grandfather Eduardo. She loved him dearly and was blessed to spend many years with him, and have my grandmother Odete. Unfortunately my great grandfather passed from cancer at the age of 54, she was just 41 years old and again, left alone. She spent the rest of her life loving him, never remarried.
She was the rock of our family. As the family grew, she would be the caretaker, cooking meals for 15 to 20 at a time, never complaining, never regretting her life or the losses she suffered. She just pushed through it all, quietly living her life and enjoying every moment of raising her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She even got to meet her great great grandchild.
She passed away on the 24th of March, 1999. Almost a month to the day before my Jasmine was born on April 25th, 1999. I was no longer in South Africa and I remember the day I found out she died, I was in the shower when my husband came to inform me. I cried like I had never cried before, a guttural heart shattering cry, I don't think my heart had ever hurt like that. All I have left of her are memories, life lessons and her wedding rings, along with my great grandfather's picture in a broche.
I will share more of her lessons and memories in upcoming posts. She may not be here in the physical body anymore, but her presence and her love will forever be with me, and I thank God for blessing me with the best great grandmother.
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