I don't think I have to tell anyone that I love Oprah and I truly admire everything she's done for everyone. While watching tv last night, I happened to get lucky enough to catch her special on the school she built in South Africa. It hit close to home, it pulled at my heart strings because I got to see my home again and shed tears for what I miss and for this country that I adore seeing all these amazing human beings, fighting through adversity and huge obstacles to make it through life.
It seems to me that not a lot of people are aware of the beauty that is South Africa, I mean I still come across some that believe I lived in a hut surrounded by bush and constantly being threatened by lions. It's not so AT.ALL!!!
I cried my eyes out last night and I still tear up just writing this. I fell in love with the little girls featured on the show, the hardships they have endured and the fighting spirit they have. One asked Oprah "Am I good enough to be in your school?"....heartbreaking, the thought that she was not good enough because she's poor or has had a tough life.
Isn't that what we all ask ourselves though??? I know I do, I'm constantly asking myself if I'm good enough for this or that, am I good enough of a mother, a good enough wife, daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend and most importantly AM I A GOOD ENOUGH CHRISTIAN. WOW!!!!
So I had to talk about it today, my fears and my worries. Faced with the fact that as much as I love South Africa I can never go back to living there, having my children raised there, feeling safe. It breaks my heart and makes me cry for that beautiful country. I miss it, actually to say I miss it doesn't come close to expressing my true feelings....there's a burning and yearning to go back home, to see the place I grew up in, my old schools, the homes I lived in, the vacation spots we went to.
But I can't, not to permanently live.....I can't bring myself to do it and that realization kills me. It's one of the saddest things I've ever had to admit to myself. South Africa will always be home to me, no matter where I go or what I do.
So if you haven't seen the Oprah Winfrey Special, I ask that you do, I think you won't be disappointed and I KNOW that you will cry for those beautiful girls, I do.
Moving on though, the weather continues to wreak havoc over here, we woke up to tons of snow again but now it's all melted and the sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. It's weird and it's unnerving to me, it's like a sign of the times or something. LOL
Last night I was going to the store and next thing I know my Check Engine light came on....I panicked turned around and headed back home. I was soooo soooo sad, this is my baby, my new car, my wonderful Durango that I've wanted for 9 years and now here I was thinking that something was very wrong with it. I told Curt what was going on and he went out and checked....couldn't figure out exactly what the problem was.
I was resigned to walking Jasmine to school and back, in the snow, with a whiny 3 year old complaining that he wants to go back home now "to play Mario Kart". Yes, that's what he is into now. But anyway, I went to bed last night and I prayed and I asked God to give me some sort of sign on what could be wrong with the car and that he knew I needed it, but I was going to leave it all in his hands and be calm knowing he would take care of us.
This morning hubby got up an hour earlier to fix my car (I love you honey), he came upstairs at 5:30 am and told me the car was fixed. He suddenly realized that it could be the Anti-Freeze and when checked, yep, the lid was not on tight and it seems it evaporated. He refilled it and the check engine light went off.....my baby was back to normal. Thank you God.
Tomorrow I'm working on my bedroom, I'm still trying to work all this Spring Cleaning in around my other stuff. We have dentist appointments and other errands coming up in the next few days so it's bound to get crazy again.....but I'm standing firm and keeping at it. It's always the getting started that is tougher for me because once I'm cleaning then everything flows and I enjoy it.
Well I'm out of here, I have things to do, places to go and children to take care of. Have a blessed day,