18 years ago, this beautiful red haired angel was placed in my arms , after a bit of a complicated labor and birth. In that instant my life changed!!!!
The time has flown so fast, it feels like just yesterday I was rocking her to sleep. She's reached so many milestones in the past 18 years.....
Her first step
Her first word
Her first day of school
Turning 13 and becoming a teen
Turning 16 and well on her way to being a woman
and now this....turning 18 years old, becoming an adult and about to go out and face the world.
I remember how it felt, I was counting down the days until I turned 18. I wanted to be an adult, to make my own decisions, to not have to answer to anyone or be told where to go, what to do and so forth. The world was this big bright empty canvas and I was standing there holding a palette of beautiful colors and a paintbrush, just waiting to go out and add my own touch to the world.
I sit and watch this milestone and the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm incredibly blessed and lucky, to have been allowed to be her mother, and to be have been allowed to watch her grow over the past 18 years. Some aren't as lucky and so I count my blessings and thank the Lord every single day for that.
As I go into this new Chapter with her, things have shifted. I'm not longer a mother to teenagers or kids, I'm a mother to one teenager and an adult. Strange feeling that is!!!
I'm happy, so happy for her but I would be lying if I didn't say that my heart is breaking, because I know that this is the beginning, this is the very first day of the next step which will be her leaving us.
She is beyond excited but a little weary, she has waited so long to be an adult but she also knows all that it entails and a part of her wants to hold on to the childhood years. She is eager for the next step, moving out, working, going to college, making a life with the man she loves.
I'm not sad because I am worrying, or scared for her, because truth is, as fragile and sensitive and emotional as she is, she also is extremely strong and determined, and I know that no matter what she encounters she will flourish and succeed.
We've definitely had our ups and downs, mostly ups thankfully, but we also have an amazing bond, one that I hope will continue for the rest of our lives.
This past year my beautiful girl has had to grow up fast, she's had to face demons within, and dad and I have had to step back and face the truth that we can't always be the answer, that some things are out of our control or understanding and can't be fixed by us as her parents. It's been hard, but it's also been one of the proudest moments for me as a mother.
Jasmine is drop dead gorgeous, bubbly, energetic, funny, a firecracker, she's strong, a survivor, incredible, sweet and brave and even a pain in the behind at times. She's everything you could want and wish for in a daughter, and more.
So today, as she turns 18, I want her to know that my wish for her is that she continues to love the Lord, that she develops a strong relationship with Him and places Him first in her life, I wish for her all the blessings that you can imagine and then some, I wish for her and Nick to continue being the beautiful, loving, respectful couple that they are to each other, I wish that everything she wants and desire, be hers.....and most of all I wish that when the hard moments in life come knocking at her door, that she will continue to have the strength, wisdom, morals and values to guide her through and come out shining on the other side.
I love you more than I could ever put into words Jasmine. The world is yours baby girl, go out there and conquer it, but always know that if you need and want, mommy's arms are wide open waiting to catch you and hug you and help you get back on your feet.
Happy Birthday my babe, I love you!!!!