Uncle Carlos, I know that you're in heaven and I know that you're in a better place but we will never be the same without you, you have left a hole in our hearts that will never be replaced. I love you and I can't even begin to tell you how much I'm going to miss you. The heavens have won another angel but we've lost an important part of our lives.

Today is my 33rd birthday and although I reached a point a couple years ago, more like 10 years ago or so, where I don't get excited about birthdays, for some reason this one has me a little freaked out.
There really isn't anything exciting about turning 33, other than being a year older and lot wiser....well wait, I guess the wiser part could be the exciting thing??? But this one of those birthday's where you don't find a special section at your local Hallmark, and you don't hear anyone talking excitedly about turning 33 and the big bash they're about to have. It just IS!!!
It's quite frightening thinking that there's no going back to 20 or 21 years old and then I start to wonder just what exactly could be coming my way. What does life hold for me, by this time next year, will I still be sitting in the same chair, on the same computer, at the same time and blogging about how pathetic I was complaining about turning 33 when now I'm turning 34??? Will I be healthy or sick, have the same circle of friends, have finally gone back home to South Africa to see my family????
If you let yourself start wondering and asking the what if's, you may as well book a bed in the nearest asylum because that's where you will end up. So I'm taking the high road, I'm just going to sit back and let it play out, just enjoy the day (it's one like any other for me, except for the birthday presents), eat cake which my thighs are already having a party of their own at the anticipation of another slice of heavenly rich cake being ingested.
Oh make no mistake, there WILL be cake and not one made by me either, not that I wouldn't do it but hubby refuses to let me bake my own cake so he's getting me one.
I was sitting here trying to remember what I've learnt the past 33 years and I'm typing this and I've got tears in my eyes. Has that ever happened to you?? You don't even know why you're starting to cry, you just are. I must the most emotional person on earth, good grief.
There's been ups and downs and joys and heartaches but everything that I've gone through has made me the woman I am today and for that I'm thankful and I'm blessed. The Lord has had a firm grip on me from a very young age and he does let me stray but it's only to show me that I can't do it all on my own.........the minute I become complacent that's it, it's like a warning sign ringing out in my head "You're heading for a fall, You're heading for a fall....wake up wake up". And yet, just like a child who's been told over and over not to do something, I just do it allllllll over again LOL
But anyway, I've had a good life, I have a wonderful husband and children, I have the best family in the world who I love more than life itself, the best parents and stepparents and grandparents and brothers and sisters (I consider my sisters in law my actual sisters) and nieces and nephews and dogs and allergies and unmanageable hair and 33 year old thighs........you get the point!!!
So anyway, I'm going to have a normal day with my kids, eat cake, open presents and just hang out. Hope you all have a wonderful day, and have some drinks for me!!!







