Sunday, December 17, 2006

YEP, I'M AN IDIOT!!!

I picked MercyMe's "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree", not only do I love this song but MercyMe is my favorite Christian Band....so enjoy!!!



Please do me a favor, next year slap me upside the head and do NOT let me go shopping just a week before Christmas. It was HORRIBLE!!!!

It's like everyone and their mother (literally, not joking here) was out. Our first stop was the Toy Store....why?!?!?! WHY would we put ourselves through that?!?!?!
I have never seen so many people in one store at the same time and then they are all walking around looking like Borgs....those little cellphones wrapped around the ear thingy. I'm not sure if they are talking to family or getting a "Mission Briefing" from their headquarters.

Prepare yourselves people, I feel a rant coming on. LOL


The Dreaded Toy Store

Hubby and I split up so we could get things done faster....*snort* Not really, because we moved at snails pace. I love those people that just stand there in the middle of the aisles, not really sure what they're doing because I don't see them picking up anything, just sit stare off into space, you can see that blank look in their eyes as they try to figure out exactly what the toy on the shelf does. Does it move, blink, flash lights, talk....what is the purpose of it???

Meanwhile they hold up 50 people who are just trying to survive the traffic flow. Here's a clue people, just grab the friggin' toy and MOVE ON. If you don't know what it does at first glance, just give up and get something else, chances are you STILL won't know what it does when you try to explain it to the little person you're giving it to.

After surviving all that, I finally get to the check out. Oh here we go, there's 5 check outs all full, huge lines going all the way back to the toy aisles....but I acted like the obedient little shopper, I sigh and huffed a little but calmly pushed my cart those two inches everytime someone else got done paying. Then I see the end in sight, the light at the end of the tunnel....the person in front of me is finally paying. As I reach for the first toy in my cart, another cart just magically appears out of nowhere and sets itself in front of me.....with a sign that catches my eye. "CLOSED"......UGGHHHHHH

I did finally get out of there, but not before having to give my phone number and zip code and....excuse me!!! WHY?!?!? Is someone going to call me if I don't come back to the store within a specified amount of time??? Ridiculous!!!


THE TRAFFIC FROM HELL

So we're done at the toy store and we decide to go eat. Of course that means having to drive to "Outback"....all of a sudden I feel like we're in one of those futuristic movies where everyone moves at lightning speed, zooming past each other, cars just swerving in and out, no blinkers, no thank you for letting me through or even an 'HEY LOOSER, I'm about to cut you off be prepared".....then we get stuck with this lady in front of us.

Ladies Please....I'm begging you, I know we need to look our best at all times, but give me a break. This lady managed to file her nails, put on some nail polish, mascara, lipstick, brush her hair, put it up in a pony tail and apply some eyeliner, ALL WHILE she was driving. Where could she be going that requires this much attention.....or even better, why couldn't she have done this at home before getting in her car???

I don't want to see her do her nails or floss while cutting me off, I just want to get to the next destination as safely as possible.


THE CRAZY RESTAURANT

Let's face it, shopping makes you hungry!!! I know it does me, but wouldn't it be cool if there was a way to send out an alert to everyone, telling them to please stay home while you eat your meal in peace and quiet???

We get to Outback and we've never had a problem being seated or having to wait. Until yesterday. SURPRISE SURPRISE!!!
They tell us we have to wait 15 minutes because they have tons of empty tables but not enough servers/waiters.....ok....well let's wait. So then they hand us that little square electronic thingy.

I'm ashamed to say, we are either not used to going out, or we are dumber than we look. Hubby and I both stare at it, and then sit there, after about 10 minutes hubby picks it up and sets it down, the lights all start flashing. We look at each other:

Hubby - Oops did I break it?
Me - Ugh, did you break that thing, the lights are all flashing, what does it mean?
Hubby - I don't know, I don't ever get these things....
Waiter - I'm ready to get you seated now.....*smiling*
Hubby - OH, is that what this means??
Waiter - Yeah, that's why the lights are going off.

MOVE OVER PEOPLE, the HILLBILLIES have just entered the restaurant. WEll not really, but you know...felt like it LOL

The meal was wonderful by the way, it always is at Outback. But then the kids need to go potty so I take them...and I decided that I needed it too. Now the kids are little, no biggie there, but I'm sorry....why don't they just take down the walls and put up toilets in see through cages for everybody to admire???
What is UP with the bathroom walls....well, can't even call them that.....these whatever they are with huge gaps on the sides, anyone that walks in can see my behind. It's NOT a pretty sight people!!!! Please, bathroom makers out there.....women do NOT enjoy having an audience while we do our deeds.


THE AWFUL MALL

I think hubby and I are suckers for punishment because after all this, we went to the Mall. I can't remember the last time I was touched and pushed and rubbed up against this much.....again everyone and their mother, and father, and cousin and aunts and grandmothers....were shopping at the mall.

We were tired, we were tired of so many people everywhere, and we had a 3 year old in tow who wanted NOTHING more than to ride the escalator up and down. What a royal pain in the behind.

We ended up just picking up some small items there and then Jasmine and I got our ears pierced. Yes I know....Hayley, I finally did it LOL

Jasmine wanted to go first and she YELPED when her first ear got done....but she was a trooper and quickly offered up her nex one just to get it over and done with. Have I mentioned how I had never pierced my ears??? Yep after 32 years I finally did it and let me tell you after seeing Jasmine yelp I wasn't too sure I was up for it LOL
I'm a wuss I admit it....but I bravely sat there and let the nice lady pierce my ears....now we are both sporting pretty little earrings, mine are diamonds (the cheap kind LOL) and Jasmine picked Ruby little ones.....they hurt but they look cute.

We finally made it home at 8pm, after a full day of shopping and fighting off offenders crazy shoppers.

Feels good to have my christmas shopping done, but I will
NEVER EVER EVER EVER be an idiot again and wait this long. I should slap myself for such idiocy.

So there ya go, now you know how my day went....here in about 30 minutes I have to run to get stocking stuffers and groceries.....wish me luck. I hope all the weirdos stayed home, I don't think I can handle a rerun again....and please to all the Borgs out there....go home and use your phones, or write down a list or something, just stop amusing us with your loud babbling conversations, I really could care less if Aunt Bertha wants the doll or the dinosaur for Little Mike!!!

And to all a happy happy Sunday!!!!


25 comments:

Barb said...

Well, Sandra, that pretty much sums up our shopping yesterday, too. I swear, this is the year I'm going to be done by August 1st! The toys aisles at Target were the worst place to be yesterday. I couldn't believe how many people were in those aisles.

We're not done. Ugh. We have to make another trip. I can't believe it.

This is insane, isn't it? I've never shopped so late in the year before and the insanity actually surprised me. This is never ever going to happen again!

Beck said...

We went shopping yesterday too at a tiny local mall, and EVERYONE was there! Luckily, I only needed to grab a few things, but it was just nuts.
I hope you and Jasmine enjoy your new earrings!

Michelle said...

that is exactly why I don't go shopping during the last week before Christmas LOL Now my hubby does most of his shopping that way, but hey he's alone so go for it :)

Sarah said...

Lol Sandra you are TOO funny. Ha ha ha ha, sorry laughing too hard.

Been there done that with the shopping. Man it's a nightmare.

When I worked in the big smoke (city) I used to sit in stationary traffic and people would read books, put on makeup, pick their noses (yuk, like we can't see them).

Hugs, loves ya, you make me laugh.

Sarah said...

p.s. I've had my ears done twice ;)

Susanne said...

Oh, poor girl! Make one of your wonderful cups of coffee with flavored creamer put your feet up and have a relaxing moment.

Those guys with the ear thingy's drive me crazy too! I always think they're saying something to me or talking to themselves before I realize those things hanging off they're ears. Really if they need to use a cell phone surely if they are not in a car they can hold the darn things to their ears!

I need to grocery shop yet too. I'm dreading it. Hope the rest of your day is relaxing.

Air Force Family said...

Shopping the week before Christmas sounds terrible. Now I feel like I eat out too much, b/c I do know what those things are that they give out at restaurants.
I love Outback! My favorite is their shrimp appetizer and their bread.
Thankfully, I've never had to go shopping that/this week. Only groceries.
The earpiece is called a BlueTooth and that is what my husband really wants for Christmas (not happening).
That lady putting makeup on, etc., is crazy and dangerous. Although, I really shouldn't be talking, b/c I read at the traffic lights and if traffic is crawling. lol
Have a great Sunday!

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

You did all that shopping and had your kids with you? You rock! I would have been in a bad mood! LOL. Sometimes I have to watch, or my Christian attitude doesn't stick around very long while out shopping! LOL. I almost went to Wal-Mart Saturday and turned around once I saw the parking lot!!

Christina said...

That post was hysterical. It made me feel sorry for myself since this will be me tomorrow. That's how late I am. I will still be finishing up Christmas eve.

Your Outback experience is a lot like us. We are hillbillies too. I always ask my husband "are you sure they got it programed right" I can't tell. I hate those things. Just call us by our names, like in the old days.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and I hope you are all finished shopping. I guess I should hope the same for myself.

BTW you should be glad you didn't buy the real tree. I am so sick of the smell and all the needles and my 3 year old made it look like there is a huge hole in the middle. I am sure your's would of loved playing with it too. Next year back to the fake one. At least it will look pretty good by the time
Christmas actually arrives.

Christina said...

BTW I re read this post today to prepare myself for braving the stores.

That was hysterical what you said about the people with the ear cell phone thingys. I think it is a mission briefing for sure.

FrugalDomesticGoddess said...

My Mom and Sis and I went to Frankenmuth yesterday and Bronner's (the huge Christmas store) was full of people standing in aisles gawking, letting their kids push their carts into your ankles, people pushing, shoving, nudging, and bumping, lots of complaining, etc. I know how you feel!

Sherry

Air Force Family said...

Hey Sandra! Have you rested up from your shopping excursion yesterday?!
Have fun wrapping all the gifts you bought.

Hugs

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

Oh Sandra, another LOL - THIS is why I blog some days. The lady doing the get ready thing, I have to confess I've been there, done that, wondering if I'd end up blind from putting on mascara at stop lights. Then the square thing at the restaurant completely cracked me up. I so wish I could have been there. For some reason, I've grown an attachment to being in the grocery store the day before a big holiday - seriously. It's just so fun to see all the people, the meltdowns, and I really get a kick out of being nice to all the crazy people. Thanks for sharing the insanity - pure entertainment on my part. xoxoox

Blessed Beyond Measure said...

PS You can see why sometimes its hard to believe my sister, Barb and I are even related. Looking at her comment, then mine, maybe one of us was adopted?

Courtney said...

I soooo feel ya. With Matt's grandpa passing away things have been crazy & we have 2 things for easch of the kids & thats it! I have sooo much to do & am literally having panic attacks about it LOL!

Morning Glory said...

This was hilarious! Thanks for a great laugh.

Kelli said...

Oh my! What a day you had! I have heard some interesting conversations while shopping. More like yelling into the phone..."She wants what? The white or red? They only have blue. What?? Oh, she wouldn't like that. No, she wouldn't. Whatever!" That was my favorite..hehee.

I'll bet Jasmine's earrings look so pretty! Emily has her ears pieced and can't wait to wear Mommy's dangly ones. :0)

I have a little more shopping to finish up too so good luck to both of us! LOL

Kelli

Jen said...

And a Happy New Year!!!!!


I just had to be the one to say that....too funny.
Been there done that...will remind you next year to get it all done before....12/10!

Chrissy said...

I just love reading your posts... they make me smile and they make me feel closer to my sister! She is on the same air force base as you and so I have fun throwing her off and saying sooo its been raining all week huh? Im glad your shopping is done (mine isnt) and hope you have a very Merry Christmas!!

orgjunkie said...

Sandra come back I miss you!!!

Hope all is well. Thinking of you.

Laura

Christina said...

Hi Sandra,
I know you are very busy but I tagged you for a meme I thought you might like. enjoy.

Overwhelmed! said...

Sandra, you've just described my holiday shopping experience thus far this year. I deserve it though, I waited to START my shopping last Saturday. I still have 5 more people to buy for. Yikes!

As for the stores that ask for my phone number and zip code, I must confess, I just give them an old phone number that's no longer in exsistance. There's no way I'm giving them my cell phone number to sell on some distribution list.

Mike said...

Love the outtakes. Merry Christmas.

Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/

Praying for your Prodigal said...

I think shopping is what pushed Scrooge over the edge! So glad you survived the adventure!

Merry Christmas!

Diane

Air Force Family said...

Sandra,
How goes life? How are Jasmine's and your ears healing? I bet ya'll ears look gorgeous!!
Olyvia's healed up real well, without any complications, for which I am very thankful to God.
Enjoy the upcoming days!

Merry Christmas!
Hugs