I have to start by thanking every single one of you, who left a comment, offered words of advice, let me know I wasn't going through this alone, and gave me hope that there IS an end in sight. Actually a very easy end in sight, if only my anxiety and brain would cooperate.
But I'm trying very and I mean VERY hard to beat this negative way of thinking and to get back to the happy, go lucky, go with the flow and whatever happens happens, Sandra.
So again, thank you, you all made me feel so much better.
I do think, and actually have suspected for a while that I may be in Perimenopause. Many of the symptoms are things I'm dealing with, I just didn't know that anxiety, and this crazy paranoia was one of them. Good grief.
Anyway, I thought I would share with you a little of my day before going to sleep. I need to do it quite quickly as I'm drinking some hot milk with whiskey to knock out whatever is lingering around my son and I. He has a sore throat and sore body/weakness, I don't have a sore throat but around 10am it hit me out of nowhere and my body is really achy. I started meds right away and felt great for 5 hours but it came back again, so I've taken more cold meds and now I'm doing my grandpa's trusty hot milk and whiskey. I'll be sweating like a pig here in a few but it will be worth it......only thing is, I've been having night sweats for about a month, so yeah didn't need more LOL
I've finished a few devotionals on my Bible app and picked up a few more. It has been amazing to start feeling that shift in my way of thinking and the closeness to God. There's something beautiful about the moment you start letting go. I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but definitely moving in the right direction. Every day is a struggle with my mind.
One thing I've been trying to do is get out in the morning and breathe in some fresh air. It clears my mind and gets me ready for the day......and it freezes the bejeebers out of me. What is going on with this cold, it was 7 degrees this morning, in Texas???
The 7th Part of the Elements CAL was released this morning, so I sat and worked on a few rows.
I then got dressed for the day, had some breakfast and did some housework, but around 10am, I started feeling weak and my body started aching, you know the kind of aches that come right before you get a cold. So I immediately took some cold meds.
They worked well for about 5 hours and then right before I was due to start fixing dinner, they started wearing off. I plowed through though, made some Ziti pasta bake and fed the family, did the dishes and so forth.
My husband always tells me to just lay back and relax when I'm not feeling well, but that mom guilt kicks in and does not allow me to do that. Even though, honestly, there are days that we have to punch that guilt in the face and really sit down and allow your body to heal.
I got through the day, had a great talk with my husband and daughter. Some very exciting things being discussed and possibly coming up for my Jasmine, but I can't share just yet.
I've had my hot bath, more meds and milk and whiskey and I'm sitting in bed getting this post up real quick before I conk out. Also want to start on my book, The Shelter of God's Promises by Sheila Walsh. It's been a few years since I've read it and I think right now, in this season of my life and with the struggles I've been facing, it will do me a world of good to reread it.
Well friends, I'm going to cut this one short. Thank you again for always having my back and helping me reel in my crazy emotions and get me back on track. I do love the blogging community and the network of wonderful ladies I have around me.
Hope God blesses you all immensely.