{ Living life with a thankful heart }

I've always tried to be thankful, thankful for the things I have and for the people in my life.
But when we go through life, things happen, we are human, we err, we make bad decisions and we often times forget to continue nurturing our relationship with God.

Life gets busy.

That's no excuse, but how many of us can say that we haven't neglected our spiritual journeys, at one time or another, because life got busy and we struggled to fit God into our days?

*Raising my hand way up high*

I'm not going to talk again about what we are going through at the moment, there's no use repeating it over and over.  I've learned the past 3 months especially, since really digging deep and cementing my place at the Lord's side, that God doesn't want you to complain and whine about what you're going through, all you are doing is giving the enemy the credit.

Was that a tough lesson to learn.  We are beings that tend to whine and cry and complain when things get tough, and to be told to stop doing it, is not exactly easy to accept.  But, when you do, things fall right into place because you're taking back control of your situation, you are asserting your place as a child of God and you are using the authority given to you by Him to put an end to your deserts.

As I have sat back and watched my mother in law dealing with the notion that her life is over, in a very few short months, I have found myself learning a lot.

She is teaching me to stop sweating the small things.

I see her struggling to breathe and I am reminded that breathing is something we all take for granted.

We don't even think about it, we just do it without batting an eye lid.

She struggles to get to the bathroom or shower, or even stand up, without being winded and exhausted for about 5 minutes after.  We just walk or run from place to place, room to room.  We brush our teeth with no effort, she gets exhausted and out of breath.

We eat and sometimes complain about not being in the mood for this food or that food.  She would love to be able to eat a full meal, instead she is not eating much at all, and what she does manage to eat has to be very soft or in the form of protein shakes.

She smiles, thanks God and continues to be devoted and faithful to Him.

Us? We question, stomp our feet, throw tantrums when small things in life don't go our way.

 

A few days ago, I was getting extremely frustrated with the animals.  Marley kept barking to be let out, but we would go open the door and he would sniff the air outside and back up.  He did this repeatedly, I kept having to interrupt dinner preparations for it.

At the same time, Elliott being the kitten he is, was in the kitchen jumping on every counter and shelf, and really frustrating me.

I lost it.  I yelled, I teared up and quite irritably said out loud "Why?  Why can't I just have peace and quiet?"

I was in the middle of that self created drama, when we found out my mother in law was starting hospice care.  It felt like a huge slap across my face, a much needed slap to snap me out of my ridiculous tantrum.

 

I immediately asked God to forgive me.

Here I was complaining about something so stupid and my mother in law facing something serious.
This whole experience has made me that much somber, it has made me that much thankful.  I wasn't sure if I was going to even post this or share it, but I want so much to continue using my blog as an online journal.  I believe that it's good to put our feelings down on paper, or to type them out, it helps make sense of things.

And truthfully, these are all memories, albeit some happy and some sad, but they're still a part of our lives, and I want to record it all.

I think one day, when I go back and read all these entries, I will be amazed at how God has changed me, molded me and taught me to adapt to a myriad of situations.

For that, I am eternally grateful!