Tuesday, August 10, 2021

{ My sweet Marley is gone }

 

October 5, 2016 - August 9, 2021

I wish I had the words right now to begin to tell you, how heartbroken I am.

Marley started getting worse last week, and very quickly declined.  Sunday he became quite lethargic, wouldn't eat or drink, go potty etc.  And he also began to throw up.  It continued all Sunday, and into Monday morning.

By Monday he was throwing up blood too, and we knew that it was time to say goodbye.

We called the vet, and she said she would be over at 1pm.

Curt, myself, Jasmine and Nick sat with him from 8 am, loving him, kissing him, hugging him, and telling him what a good boy he was and how much he changed our lives.


Everyone was able to hug him and love him, but he was very offish with me.  He would look away when I tried to love him, or would actually stand up, in his very weak state and try to go hide under the table or by the couches.

I couldn't understand it at first, and it broke my heart that he wasn't allowing me to be with him the last few hours of his life.

Ten minutes before he passed, he walked over to me, lay his head on my legs and had his first peaceful nap, since weeks.

February 10, 2017

I stroked his head, kissed him, told him how much mama loves him and that as much as it was going to hurt, he would go home to Heaven.

10 minutes he napped, then got up, walked over between the couch and futon and started throwing up again.  Curt was immediately by him cleaning him and as I was walking towards them with paper towels in hand, he looked back, straight into my eyes, and the look he gave me.......oh my gosh.  The look my sweet boy gave me told me immediately he was going.

Marley

He dropped to his side, and began his passing over to Heaven.

He died pretty quickly, while I held onto his face and told him over and over how much I loved him.  I lost it, I'm not going to lie.

I didn't even think that I would react that way, but the pain I felt when he passed was unimaginable.  My heart broke in a million pieces, and I'm struggling, really struggling to come to terms with what just happened.

He came to help me deal with the passing of Lola, and I never thought I would love another dog after her.  I can tell you at this moment, that as much as  I loved Lola, I loved Marley even more.  There was something about this baby boy that was so special, so pure, so full of love.  He didn't have a mean bone in his body, and everyone that met him talked about the sweetness he radiated.  

I don't know how I will get through this.  Both Curt and I are completely devastated beyond all words.  We are broken, totally broken over this loss.

I apologize for not posting my Happy Homemaker Monday yesterday, I think it was the first time I haven't posted it since I began it years ago.  But, Marley was not well, and we were with him, where we needed to be.

I pray that now that this season of heartache is finally at and end, I may be able to start blogging again, and doing the things I love again.  I hope soon, but just know that right now, in this moment, it feels like my heart is broken beyond repair.  The pain I feel is so real, so strong that I can't even breathe at times.

If you have fur babies, love them for me today.  Give them a huge hug and kiss, and let them know just how much you love them.  

Thank you all for the countless prayers, thoughts and love sent to me, my family, and especially our sweet boy Marley.  It means so much.

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To Marley, my sweet boy, my heart.  I am so thankful for the 4 years God gave you to me to care for.  You taught me how to love again, you healed my heart, you made me laugh, you brought me immense joy and never left my side.

I will miss our afternoon naps where you would jump onto the bed and right onto my lap.  I will miss you laying next to me when I was sick, giving me kisses when I was sad.  I will miss you coming to the kitchen to stand at the counter where the treats were, and barking for me to give you some.  I will miss the times you stood up on the counter to see what I was doing.  I will miss you laying between me and daddy at night, all stretched out, on your back happy as can be.  I will miss you laying your head across my neck to sleep at night, or the way you would curl up beside me.  

I will miss you bringing me your squeaky ball to play with, nudging my arm at dinner time hoping for a bite of whatever we were eating.  I will miss how you clung to me the last few weeks of your life, nudging me awake at night to let me know you needed a hug, comfort, or that you were feeling sick.

I will miss your sweet face, your beautiful eyes and the love you showed me.  And I will miss seeing the love and the bonds you had with your daddy, and your brother and sister.

I hope you know just how much you were loved and how much we are going to miss you here, by our side.

My only consolation is knowing that your fight against this horrible cancer, is over.  That you are in Heaven running free, completely healed, with a perfect body, eating all the treats you want and playing for hours on end.

I count down the minutes until the day I see you again.

I love you Marley!!!
♥♥♥♥♥

May 31, 2007

25 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry Sandra. I'm in tears reading this. He had a great life with you, you loved him well! Praying for all of you in the days ahead.

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss, what a beautiful boy Marley was, he lived a good life of love. The love we feel for our pets is real, and I'm sending you a huge hug, so sorry.

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  3. I am sorry Sandra. I can feel your sorrow. It was a year ago May 11 when our sweet Boston Terrier, Diesel went to heaven. He had been diagnosed with a brain tumor shortly after he began having seizures.We had almost 2 months with him. He too was such a sweet boy. We still miss him terribly but know in our hearts that he is pain free and healthy. And yes we will see him again. We just can't imagine getting another pet, he is irreplaceable. The hardest part of loving a pet so much is having to say goodbye. Sending you prayers and big hugs 💕 Laura B

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  4. I am so sorry to read of Marley’s passing, all I can say is that as much as he gave to you, remember how much you gave to him. Know that he loved you all so very much. He knew he could count on you and felt part of the family.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss and the heartbreak you and your family are enduring. Prayers for you all.

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  6. Sandra, Curt, Jasmine and Nick I am so very sorry over the loss of your sweet boy Marley. As hard as it is, just know that he is happy and healthy where he is and you'll see him again someday. So glad you were all there with him when he crossed over. He knows how much he was loved and he'll watch over his family.

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  7. What a lovely tribute to your sweet boy. I'm so sorry for the hole in your heart.

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  8. I am very sorry about Marley. I was also in tears reading this. I am praying God gives you peace and comfort in the coming days.....

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  9. Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!. You are such a good dog mama. I have furbabies and I know how devastating it is to see them suffer and then to lose them. I know you must feel completely heartbroken. Allow yourself plenty of quiet time to grieve. You will need it. Take comfort in that Marley has crossed that "rainbow bridge" and is free from pain and sadness and is running and playing with all his new friends. :-) I am sending love and prayers your way. <3

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  10. Watching your furry love one pass is one of the hardest parts of life. I am so very sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

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  11. I'm so deeply sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. I'm crying my eyes out as I write this. My heart hurts for you. This is the price we pay for the privilege of having all the joy they bring into our lives.
    I lost my bulldog Savannah to lymphoma,it killed me to see her suffer.
    All you can do is take comfort he is not suffering any longer. He had a wonderful life,was loved and cared for.
    May God help you all thru this time of mourning.

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  12. In tears, I am so, so sorry for you and the family. Our pets are our family and it hurts when they hurt and, when they pass, our hearts are forever broken. But I sincerely pray they are all there when we cross over as well. Sending big hugs for y'all. Love and peace Marley, such A Good Boy.

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  13. Praying for you and your family. May you be blessed with comfort and peace.

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  14. I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to lose a family member 2 or 4 legged. Stay strong. And forget about us your family comes first. Hugs.

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  15. Sandra I am crying with you & for your family in the heart wrenching loss of Marley. Losing a family pet is devastating & the pain agonizing, there is nothing like the love & loyalty they share so unconditionally. I too look forward when called to heaven to reunite with my pets, until that time, cherish your Marley photos & memories as I know he is tucked in love within your heart. God's Blessings of healing to you all, Ruth

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  16. I am so very sorry.....my tears are falling here in Nova Scotia along with yours. I have been praying for Marley, and for you since you first posted that he wasn't his usual self. I know the pain of losing a beloved pet, especially one as special as Marley, and whom you loved so deeply. Time will lessen the pain, as you well know, and the comfort that he is healthy and happy again and that one day he along with all of past beloved pets will be there to greet you as you join them again one day. Praying for you and your dear family. Be good and gentle with each other - your love for each other and for Marley will help in your healing. Love never dies...............

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  17. I am so very sorry to read this. My heart is breaking for you all. X

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  18. In September will be a year that we had to put down our beautifully excitable Reveille. She was a rescue we had adopted from another family who couldn't care for her. We only got 3 years with her but she had fully attached herself to me. She needed to lay on me every where I went. I loved feeling the warmth of her. Reflecting back I wonder if she was brought into our lives to help us get through the sudden passing of my niece who died in a car accident in August of 2018. She definitely gave me a lot of comfort that next year while I dealt with my grief. The thought of her still makes me cry because I miss her. However, my kids pestered us into going to a shelter in October and we brought home other dogs that have now claimed another piece of my heart. I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish I could say it would get better but its hard to get beyond the unconditional love of our furry kids. I literally have tears running down my face as I type this because I understand your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  19. My prayers, hugs, and love are with you all. I pray you all may feel a peace, which can only come from Him. No timetable for your healing as according to His perfect plan for each you.

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  20. I know what you're suffering, alas!
    You're in my prayers
    Xx Daniela at ~ My little old world ~

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  21. Dear Sandra, I know this pain all too well, we just lost our baby girl Buffy just 10 weeks ago. It's still as fresh as the day she crossed the Rainbow Bridge. My prayers for peace for you and your family are being said and I know GOD will comfort you in the coming day's and months. Bless you.

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  22. Oh, I am so very sorry for your pain and loss. He sounds like a wonderful companion. May God comfort you.
    Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

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  23. I'm so sorry, Sandra. My heart hurts for you.
    (((Hugs)))

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Thank you for stopping by, hope you are having a blessed day!

♥Sandra♥


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