Let's chat!

 

It is a rainy, cloudy, foggy morning here in North Texas.  Thankfully the temperatures have gone up a little so we're sitting at a balmy 43 degrees.  I'll take it!

Come on in and sit with me a little, we haven't chatted in a while and I feel like we need to catch up and have a cup of coffee or tea.

First of all, can you believe that we are practically at the end of January of 2024?  What even is that?  

So for the most part, I think that you all know the general gist of what has been happening around my home, I tend to share a little every Monday on my Happy Homemaker Monday.  If you're not following that weekly post, be sure to check it out, I think you may enjoy reading all the ladies contributions.

I guess I'll start with a update on my health.  I mentioned that I got my routine blood work results last week and that everything was fine, except for elevated Triglycerides.  I immediately went into work on what I ate.

I cut out all chips, candies, chocolate, pastries, cakes, juices and sodas, along with my coffee creamer.  I haven't had potatoes, I have switched to wholewheat pasta and rice, and I've upped my vegetables and salads.  I'm also having about 3 or 4 walnuts every day, as a snack.  The bread was the hardest for me because I love my bread, but I've also switched to wholewheat and only have 2 pieces of toast every few days.

 

 

 

I have also been exercising at least 20 minutes a day, mostly walking at home exercises, and I've also been staying busy at home.  

Ladies, nothing like a health scare to get your home organized real quick.  I have been in the kitchen all week, reorganizing every cabinet, for hours on end.  Hahahah

So far, I have lost 7 pounds, I have a ton more energy, I feel better, I feel lighter and I do not have crazy cravings for carbs and sugars like I did before.

It's just crazy how much your body is affected by what you feed it.  I am so happy and have thanked God for these blood test results, because they have me the kick start I needed to get back in shape and eat healthier food.

 

Now, I have a lot of pictures that I've snapped the past few days, so I'm just going to include them in this post, randomly as I think they're pretty self explanatory.

 

 

I started our taxes which is something I just really dislike doing.  No matter how much they deduct, it seems they're never satisfied and we always owe, right? But that's life.  

I've also been watching some Netflix shows and movies, one of which Curt and I watched last night, and it was so good.  The Society of the Snow, which is based on a true story about the airplane crash in 1972, in Uruguay.  The survivors make it through 72 days which is incredible.  It's a wonderful movie but makes you think about what you would do in that situation, and what they had to do to survive the hunger and thirst. 

 

14 of the 16 survivors are still alive today and if you want to read a real account, Time has an article with an interview of one of the survivors, which is very interesting.

 

The past week I have spent my days, cleaning, organizing and getting to some projects that need our attention around the house.  If you recall, we bought the house in 2019 and there is a lot that we want to change, but it doesn't depend on us, it depends on our finances and on God's timing.

I believe in letting things play out as they should, and as finances become available, we slowly get through the list.

One of the biggest makeovers will be our dining and den area which has the paneling.  I don't like paneling, it makes the room look very outdated and dark, and I've finally convinced my husband to either pull it down or paint it.  We are also going to stain the brick fireplace, a darker red.  Attach a wooden floating shelf to the mantle, remove the carpet and do wood floor, and add a barn door to the kitchen area.

Nothing is cheap, everything costs money, so it's a big project that will be done slowly, one thing at a time, until it is complete.  I for one can't wait to get in there and begin.

I have also been feeling the crochet bug again and I am so happy to say that.  I've missed crocheting but I think that a hobby has to be something that you enjoy, and if you're not feeling it, there's no sense in pushing through it.

 

The truth is that the past 3 or so years, I just haven't had the want to crochet.  I have a lot of unfinished projects, a lot of yarn, but not the motivation, however it's suddenly creeping up inside me again.  I've started by bookmarking a few blankets I want to make, and have been eyeing out my yarn stash to see what I have that could turn into a beautiful crochet work.

 

It may just take off this weekend, who knows.  

 

I am just enjoying this new stage of my life.  I've slowed down a lot, I am no longer running around, constantly busy, constantly saying yes to people and commitments.  Just taking my time, taking my days as they come and loving every minute of being a homemaker.

 

The love I have for my home and for making a cozy warm place for my family to retire home to, after a long day at work, has never left me, but it did get squashed down a bit.  These days I find myself constantly cleaning, organizing, thinking and planning and really trying to get back to that place of a happy homemaker.

 

I believe I'm almost back there.  Maybe that's why the crochet has stirred up within my soul. Maybe that's why I've suddenly also started getting back to watching period dramas and interesting movies and documentaries.

I do still watch my Turkish shows, but definitely not as much as I did last year, those have taken a bit of a backseat for the moment.

Yesterday I also returned to Facebook, with the intention of downloading all my photos and videos, but Facebook has made it so difficult for us to download our own property.  I've had to send a request, and now I'm waiting for THEM to email me a link for me to be allowed to download MY photos.  Does that make any sense?

But while waiting, I said a quick hello and had so many old friends pop in.  I've stayed in touch with many of you through Instagram but there are some that never left Facebook, so I've missed out on their lives.  It's been wonderful reconnecting.

Am I returning for good to Facebook?  I don't think so, my opinion on that website has not changed but I may stick around and pop in every now and then, just chat with old friends.

Anyway, that's basically what has been going on around here.  I know it's been a very long while, since I did a sit down post.  All I've kept up are the Happy Homemaker Mondays and though I love them, and they keep at least some nuance of the old blog going, it's not what I want my blog to consist of.  I'm going to once again give daily posting a chance.  Let's see how it goes.

Well friends, my cup of coffee has but a sip left, and it's no doubt freezing cold, so I'm going to end this post.  Thank you for sitting with me and chatting.  I will be back soon.

Have a blessed Thursday!

{ Let's catch up }

Good morning ladies! 

 

It's been a while.  Couple of weeks at least, since I've sat down and just talked, shared, updated and had a cup of coffee with you all.

 

I have another busy day today, but I felt so pushed to come in and just share.  Share the photos I've been taking, because even though I haven't been posting them, they've been accumulating in my camera, and so this weekend, I did a photo dump, edited everything I had, uploaded it to my Flickr Account and cleaned out the card to start again.

 

So let's start, grab a cup of coffee or tea, sit back and let me just chit chat for a few minutes.....hopefully, though if you know me you know that sometimes I just start talking and keep going.  *snicker*

♥ Deer ♥

I love this time of the year. The weather gets cooler, the leaves start turning and our property gets an influx of deer.  Big bucks, does and fawns, all colors and sizes.  It is fascinating and I always thank God for his works of art.  The beauty of this animals is just unlike anything else.  

 

 

♥ Cleaning and organizing ♥

In between my errands, chauffeur mom duties, cooking, etc.  I have been slowly organizing and cleaning out a room at a time.

 

I keep my house clean and tidy, but we all know that things tend to pile up, it's just normal for a day to day household, and we as moms are always going around trying to get things back where they belong.  But even as moms we tend to sometimes leave a pile of laundry on the couch for a day, or a stack of books in a corner of the room waiting to be put on the shelf.  

 

It's those little things that have been bothering me, so I have been making it a priority to pick up, organize and put away all the random bits and bobs around the house. 

 

♥ Preparing for the holidays ♥

I've started making plans for Thanksgiving, planning, buying food for the meals, working on Christmas gift lists and getting ready for the holidays.

I can not wait to celebrate, especially this year.  We have so much to be thankful for, even in the middle of the uncertainty and chaotic world we live in.  This Thanksgiving we will be giving thanks for another year gone by, for the blessings God bestowed upon us, for a new baby boy due in December and for my sister in law finishing her treatments on the 19th of November.  

With all this in mind, one of the first things I do every year, is make my fruitcakes.  It didn't happen last year though, if you remember it was right after my sweet mother in law passed away, so we didn't celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas the way we usually do.  We just didn't have it in us to do.

But, the fruitcakes are baked this year, and instead of the usual rum I use to drizzle on top, I decided to try something different.  Kahlua Salted Caramel Liqueur.  It tastes amazing in the fruit cake.  Yes, I always take a little bit to try and make sure they're good.  

Speaking of which, I need to go and give the cakes another drizzle this morning.

 

 

♥ Reading ♥ 

Reading has come back into my heart, with a bang.  I missed it so much.  I have this tremendous love for books.  My shelves are full, and anytime I am in a bookstore, I can't help but purchase one or two more.  There is just something about a physical book in my hands, that brings such joy to my heart.

 

Among the review books that I have, I also have my own piles of books waiting to be read.  I don't always have the time for mine because my review books take priority, but when I have a little break in that commitment, I immediately grab one of mine.

The review book I just finished is called The Book of Timothy and it is a true story, based on quite a famous case from many years ago.  It is the story of Timothy Nockels who was abused by a Catholic priest.  It's quite hard to read because of the circumstances, but a very good book nonetheless.

From my own pile, I have grabbed Francine River's A Lineage of Grace which tells the fictional stories, of 5 very important women in the lineage of Jesus Christ.  Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba and Mary.

I also have Sons of Encouragement which is also part of the same series, and tells the fictional story of Aaron, Caleb, Jonathan, Amos and Silas.  That sounds like a phenomenal book too.

 

♥ Sweet Elliott Time ♥

This little boy has crept into my heart and has been a life saver, since my heart broke in August, when my Marley left.  I don't talk about it much because I am still grieving.  

I have not been Ok. I still cry, I still miss him, I still don't understand why this happened and I still hurt like nothing I've ever felt before.  But Elliott has been my little shadow.  He is quite naughty at times, and that's expected since he is just a year old, but he follows me around, snuggles up next to me in bed or the couch for naps, and gets so happy when he seems me get up each morning.

He immediately starts purring, rubbing against my legs, drops and just lays at my feet, closing his eyes while I pet him.  He plays with me, he loves playing fetch with the aluminum foil balls, he loves laying in the kitchen while I cook.  He is just my companion and I thank God every day for him.

 

 

♥ Fall Cooking ♥

I love cooking all year long, but Fall and Winter time just brings forth all the stick to your ribs, filling, yummy stews and soups.  We've had soup a few times already, starting with the one I just posted above which was a Portuguese bean soup, with sausage and potato and carrots.  It was one of the best soups we have ever eaten, so good, so filling and thick and tummy warming.

 

I also made an Amish Chicken recipe which was delicious and so easy to make.  I'll have that recipe on the blog later today.

 

 

Curt is still working on his Master's Degree, he will be done in March of 2022.  He has been listening to the Lord and trying to figure out what and where He is leading him, and lately he has felt the pull to do Youth Ministry, so he has talked to our church pastor about it.  We are praying on it and will see where God takes us.

Jasmine has been doing amazing at driving.  She loves it, she has a renewed confidence about her that I am incredibly grateful for.  She is loving work, loving her cowokers, has gone out with them after work and is just living life to the fullest at the moment.  As always we pray for her and continually ask the Holy spirit to pursue her heart.

Nick is also starting his journey towards getting his driver's license as well, and he is trying to figure out where to go with his future.  He is not sure if he wants to go to college or go straight to work.  We are praying on that as well, that God continues to guide him.

I'm doing well, I'm still holding on to the Lord's hand and continuing on my own spiritual journey.  It has been life changing in so many ways, I am so much more aware of everything around me.  I never understood discernment until last year, and now I can't imagine life without it.

I hope to do a full post on discernment, what it is, and why you need it.

And that's it my friends.  You are all caught up on what has been happening around here.  Just plain ol' living, being with family and keeping our heads above the water in this crazy world.

Have a blessed Tuesday, thank you as always for coming by to see me and leaving such sweet comments.  I really appreciate them.

I'm going to end this post here, go and give my fruitcakes their weekly boozy bath, and make myself a salad for lunch, before I have to step out to pick Jasmine up from work.

{ Around here }

 

 

*knock knock*

Hello everyone!!!

It is Thursday morning, the 8th of April, and I had a few moments so thought I would come in and chat a little.

Life has been, well, LIFE!

I think that about sums everything up.  Day to day chores, some struggles, some stress, and a whole lot of trying to keep our heads above water.  Sometimes I feel like Dory in Little Nemo "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming......"

 

I'm not quite sure when the last time was that I came in and did a post, updating or talking about what was going on around here.  I guess I should have checked first, but that's ok, I know it's been a while.

So much has been happening though, goodness.  For one, we have not had a single weekend to relax since the beginning of the year.  Every weekend has included some sort of busy schedule, a lot of traveling back and forth between our home and my mother in laws.

That is a stress on a whole different level.  I won't go into detail but basically, the two contractors that she had hired before passing, both ditched us with the bathroom and kitchen undone.  It is now up to us to finish them off, get the house ready for sale and pray that the right buyer comes along.

It hasn't been easy paying for two households, but it will be ok, God's got it.

 

One thing I focus on a lot in my spare moments, is homemaking and doing what I love.  Growing things, fixing meals, cleaning and even ironing.  I know, some of you are probably shocked right now, but what can I say, I actually love ironing.

 

Our Marley has also been keeping us busy and somewhat stressed. He has been dealing with bad allergies and some sort of infection that the Vet couldn't figure out.  He had him on two weeks treatment of steroids and antibiotics and that seemed to help, but didn't completely lower his white blood cell count, so he is now thinking that it may just be allergy related.

In the middle of all that, he had swollen lymph nodes, which resulted in two completely blood panels being done, and thankfully no cancer.  His left eye also got pretty red, so right now we are doing Benadryl and just keeping an eye on him.  We only need to take him back in if he becomes lethargic or we see that he is really unwell.

It's been a stressful 3 weeks.  Our pets are our babies and I was just beside myself when the lymph nodes started swelling and there were blood tests being done and all this hanging above our heads.  

 

I've kept my sanity by staying busy with housework.  Sometimes keeping our minds busy helps to keep the anxiety and worry away.  That and a lot of praying, I mean a LOT of praying.  I think I've talked more to God the past 2 months, than my whole life time.

 

 

Reading has also been a much welcomed reprieve, and thankfully I have a ton of review books to get through, plus my own book collection which continues to grow.  

 

Am I the only one who can't pass up a good book?  Especially when they're on the sale rack?  I mean, a dollar book is not something I can pass up.  I'll have to show you the latest I picked up, and some that I traded in through Paperbackswap.

 

 

 If I could, I think I would be happy living inside a library.  Just imagine being surrounded by stacks and stacks of books of all genres, on every side, and inhaling the scent of book pages.  That probably sounds a bit weird to say out loud, but I have a feeling many of you will understand what I'm saying and even nod in agreement.

 

Something else I've been trying to focus more on, is cooking and baking. With all the running around, I feel like I haven't been cooking as much as I would like to. 

So I've been in the kitchen more, trying new recipes and hoping to kick start my interest back in sharing recipes on the food blog.  Not just because I love sharing with you all, but even for myself, I love having a bunch of different recipes for myself and for my children to look back on when they're out on their own.

The picture above is from an Instant Pot Caramel Pudding I made, that turned out delicious.  It's so easy to make and so quick too.  I will share the recipe sometime this week, and if not, then this weekend it will be on the food blog.

We are also down to the crunch with Nick's school, and in just a little over a month, my baby boy will be graduating High School.  That will be it for me, no more babies at home.  He is also turning 18 this Sunday, so there's that as well.  Good grief time flies.

Jasmine is doing brilliantly in her new job.  She has already been promoted and made it to the top 10 reps in the country.  Wow!!!

We are so proud of her and her accomplishments.

Curt is also doing extremely well with his college courses.  His new classes just started 3 weeks ago and he is really enjoying his courses.  He is taking Evangelism and something else, I can't remember now what it is.  

Elliott is being his usual adorable naughty kitten.  He is so good for the most part, and then every few weeks he has a day or two of craziness.  Has to be up high on all my furniture, kitchen cupboards, bathroom window etc.  Zips around like a tornado, jumps on people, chases the dog, and so on.  Life with a cat right?

As for me, I am just taking care of everyone and the home, trying to keep it together, praying, reading my Bible, homeschooling and driving people to appointments, while still plodding along with the whole perimenopause journey.  

That's basically what has been happening around here.  I hope you are all doing well, and thank you again for always checking on me and praying for our family and pets.  It means so much.

I'll be back tomorrow to show you the latest books on the shelf and anything else that I manage to do and take pictures of, around here.

Until then, have a blessed Thursday friends.

Xoxoxo

Life update!!!

Life has been difficult around here.  I don't know how else to put it, but plainly telling you that I'm struggling through a lot of things at the moment and I've even considered just getting rid of my blog because I don't have time to post, I don't feel that connection to it anymore and I'm not sure if I will get that blogging mojo back ever again.

I don't want to make any concrete decisions that I'll come to regret later on.  All I'm going to do is leave things as they are at the moment and hope that it all comes together in my life and my heart and my head.

I just am feeling extremely beaten down by life, it's a constant barrage of problems, losses, sadness and I don't quite know how to get through all of this.

I'm trying though, really I am, but I'll tell you that I've cried more the past 2 months than I have in the past few years.

I feel like we are under attack as a family, and it's been ever since we moved to Texas.  I don't regret our move, I don't regret the decision to be here and I certainly don't regret the amazing job my husband has.

It almost feels like we are having to fight to keep all this together because it's so good for us as a family, that it's made someone down there extremely irritated.

I've strayed from the Lord.  That's the honest to God's truth.  :(

And it wasn't for any specific reason, other than life got in the way and I got busy and focused on things that really don't need to be focused on.  I removed my sight from what matters, I became a wordly person instead of a Godly child and it's hit me hard, extremely hard.

The past few months have been excruciating, I will tell you that I would be glad to see this year come to an end, even though we're only halfway through it.  The heart ache, the difficult decisions and situations we've had to work through, the losses around us.  They've worn me down.

Lately I look at myself in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at me.  I've aged, my health is suffering for it, I've become hardened to a lot of things, I've cussed, I've said things out of anger, and I've tried so very hard to hold on to things and people that are no good for me.

I'm not sharing any of this to garner sympathy.  I just felt that I needed to get it out.  What you're reading is pure, truth, raw.

I feel like a broken woman.  I've had to fight for my marriage to stay together, we've struggled and in the midst of all the drama, problems, financial issues and uncertainties around us, we turned on each other instead of TO each other.  Hurtful things have been said and I honestly thought that my marriage was over.

Then our sweet Lola passed, and for the first time in what seems like forever, we turned TO each other and it felt like coming home after years of being away.  We stopped all the BS, we stopped all the drama and the bitterness and petty fights, and we really focused on us, on our marriage, and getting back to where we need to be.  Things are finally back on track in that area and I'm so extremely thankful and blessed to have my husband back.

Our beautiful daughter Jasmine, is another issue.  It's been so hard dealing with her anxiety and depression.  She is going to therapy, taking medicine for her depression and anxiety, and trying to find her way and who she is.

I was a teenager before, I know how hard it is to feel like you don't know yourself and you don't know who you are and where you fit in.  In my day things were already difficult but I feel like today, with social media and the way society is, it has made it so excruciatingly hard for teenagers.  They all feel like they need to fit within a certain label, a certain group, and there in itself lies the biggest issue.

I'm not going to talk about what all she is feeling or going through because it's private, and it's not something that I feel needs to be put out into the world.

I will share that my husband and I have been trying very hard to help her through everything she's going through, while at the same time struggling with our marital problems, giving her the unconditional love and support she deserves and needs from us, while trying to understand or learn to understand things that we ourselves have never experienced.

I ask you all to pray for her, and I mean pray really hard because at this point, she desperately needs it.

I've reached my breaking point.  I'm ready to give it all back to God again and to ask Him to please take me back and help me through this.  I need to get back to my faith, back to my roots so to speak, back to HIM.

I'm not saying that once I'm there, I will never have issues again or problems again, but I know for a fact having been through it many times before, that I will be able to get through them, and face them much easier than I am now.

It feels like we are in a huge battle at the moment, and to be honest, I felt like we were losing it.  I can't let that happen, I WON'T let that happen.

My family is everything to me.  My husband, my daughter, my son, they are the reason I get up every morning and face another day, even on those days where I want to fall apart and call it quits.  And believe me, there have been many days like that lately.

I'm turning 42 years old in 9 days.  9 days!!!!

I can not, and will not be beaten down.

Is life hard?  Yes!!!  
Does it feel unbearable at times? Yes!!!
Does it sometimes feel like we have no break from the negativity?  Yes!!!

But it's up to us to make that change, and to fight it or give in.  We have a choice, and for far too long I've left that choice up to chance, instead of grabbing hold of my own life and placing it in God's more than capable hands.  He's never let me down before.

 
I'm sorry that this post is not at all like my usual posts here on the blog.  I'm honestly bearing my heart and soul to you all, I've never in my life felt more vulnerable than I do at this moment, but I needed to do this.

People have this idea that my life is perfect, that I'm always happy and nothing goes wrong for us.  So I hope that by reading this, you will finally get a little insight into what it's been like for me.

I need prayer, I need comfort, I need someone to tell me that no matter how big this mountain looks, I will cross it and come out on the other side stronger than ever before.  That I will one day look back on these years and smile because I won the battle before me.

I'm scared, I'm weak, I'm emotionally and physically tired, I'm not myself, I lack motivation, I lack joy and the oomphff I used to have.  I just hope that it will all work out and I'll be back to myself soon.

I am sorry, truly, for neglecting you all as my readers, for neglecting my blog, and my faith and what matters.

Maybe I'm supposed to blog my way through this mess, maybe I'm supposed to use it as a way to jot down my feelings and try to make sense of it all.  I don't know.  I honestly don't know, and that right there is one of the biggest stress factors for me, the uncertainty of what is to come and where this will all end up.

For now, I've turned back to the one and only who can help me through it.  God!!!