Sunday, August 12, 2007

Remembering Uncle Carlos


Praise Through the Storm

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On friday I was talking about my birthday and the fact that this was just any other day, nothing memorable, nothing that would make me forever remember my 33rd birthday. Then the phone rang and for the first time in my life, I didn't want to answer it, I could hear my brother Miguel asking me to pick up and I had this overwhelming feeling of just letting the machine pick up. I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT when it's my family. Sure I'll do it if it's a telemarketer or a weird number I don't know, but NEVER with family.
(1 Peter 5:7 KJV)
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Then I picked up the phone and got the news that my Uncle Carlos had passed away. I literally felt like I had been punched in the stomach, in just a few words my whole world came crashing down around me. He was my Uncle, I loved him more than I could ever say and I can't believe that he has passed away.

When you get news like that you go through different emotions, the denial, the shock and then this feeling of pain, deep in your heart. Pain like you never feel before, pain that is kept I'm sure just for situations like this, the news of a loved one moving on to a life in Heaven.
(Matthew 5:4 KJV)
Blessed {are} they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
I think for us what is the hardest part is that it was sudden, there was no grief preparation unlike when someone is ill and we know that death is inevitable.

Uncle Carlos was a beam of shining light in our family, he was the kind of man that everyone clinged to, he made you laugh until you cried, he was an amazing cook, an amazing family man and an amazing musician. He spent his life doing what he loved best, singing and performing for some of the most well known hotels.....he was the One Man Band entertainment that indulged listeners in the oldies, the songs that we love to hear. I still remember watching him playing "Hey Jude"...."What a wonderful world"....."First of May" and so many many more.


Through the grief and the shock of knowing my wonderful Uncle is gone, I remember bits and pieces, it's like a puzzle to the memories I have of him. I remember visiting him in Cape Town when he was living and working there at one of the hotels.....we laughed so hard, I swear if anything weird or hysterical was going to happen, it would happen TO HIM.

I also remember going with my brother Bruno to stay with him in Botswana when he was playing and working at one of their well known hotels and casinos. Again, I have nothing but wonderful happy memories.

I don't think I ever saw him upset, he was such a calm and gentle man, he took everything in stride, not ever letting the small stuff get him down. He loved his family with all he had and there's nothing he wouldn't do for one of us. I thought of him as a father, not just an Uncle, and I vividly remember the last time I spoke to him on the phone, it was 2 years ago. I remember his voice, I remember him telling me he loved me and missed me, I remember his laugh and it's so heartbreaking to know that I will never be able to do that again.

Heaven has won another angel and just like my Aunt told his little girl Emma "See that star??? God wanted someone special to go play piano for him and he picked daddy". He sure did, He couldn't have picked a better person, the Heavens are blessed with his beautiful music and I'm sure my grandfather and greatgrandmother are rejoicing with him, they loved him so much too and he loved them.

And the rest of us are left behind, knowing we will get through it and will continue on, but missing him terribly and pushing through this immense pain and heartache, content in the fact that he is now with God and with his dad and grandma, but also selfish enough to want him here with us, to play and sing yet another song, to cook another delicious meal, to laugh with us over the crazy stories in our family, to pick on my dad for all the medicine he takes or to shower my grandmother with hugs and kisses while naughtily smiling at my dad, knowing that he would say something like "Good Grief Carlos, enough with the kisses and hugs".
They were brothers, they were best friends and I know my dad's heart is breaking right now.

Tio Carlos, we love you so very much, you leave behind so many people that adore you and will miss you every day that you are gone, but you also leave behind a legacy of love and I know that you're smiling down on us and probably laughing thinking we're all being too mushy. There's a place in my heart that will forever be etched with your love and I can not wait to one day reunite with you in Heaven. Until then, I will miss you more than words could ever say. You were our life and I would give anything to have just one more moment with you, just one more hour to hug you and tell you just how much I loved you, but I know that you are well aware of it.

Rest in Peace Uncle Carlos!!!!

11 comments:

Lora said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been "lurking" for awhile, and now seemed like a good time to leave my first comment. You and your family are in my prayers.

Courtney said...

I'm so sorry Sandra! Your uncle seemed like such a beautiful person. Your family is in my thoughts & prayers. Wonderful post but thats nothing new. You are a beautiful writer! Love & prayers,
Courtney

smilnsigh said...

My heart goes out to you in your grief.

But what a wonderful way for anyone to be remembered. In the way you have said you remember him, in this entry.

Hugs,
Mari-Nanci

Jen said...

I'm so sorry you must go through this. My heart goes out to yo and your special family.

Morning Glory said...

Oh Sandra, I'm so sorry. My prayer for you is peace and comfort. I'm glad you have such beautiful memories to hold on to.

Susanne said...

Sandra, I'm so sorry. Your uncle sounds like he was a wonderful man and very much loved. May God bring comfort to your hearts.

Tashasc30 said...

sooo sorry for you lost!
god bless! Tasha

Jill@Who Could Ask for Anything More said...

Oh, Sandra. I am so very, very sorry. I can tell by your words how much you loved your uncle. May God's hand be on you during this very difficult time.

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved uncle. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Lulu said...

im sorry Sandra, thats so sad...I cried reading your words...
hugs to you,

Renee's Ramblings said...

Sandra, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all.