Saturday, August 15, 2009
It's so hard at times......
I'm a proud Air Force wife, extremely proud of my husband and the rest of the soldiers and for the most part this is a life I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.....except for the little part when you get to say goodbye to your husband as they leave on a deployment or TDY.
Every military wife knows that it doesn't matter whether they're leaving for a day, a week, a month or a year, the pain is the same and the kids don't understand what is happening, and how do you comfort them when you're wanting to cry yourself?
Luckily my husband is only gone for this weekend but the pain is just the same as when he leaves for months on end, because the heart knows no time, the heart only knows what it's missing.
Curt is in Chicago as we speak and he'll be back Monday afternoon, not that long, if only I could convince my heart otherwise.
The fact is that he walks out the door and we're lost, we're incomplete, we're left missing him and hoping that time flies until we see him walk in the door again.
I think for most military wives, the sight of his back turned away from you and walking away is what burns in our minds, you always wish you had hugged him a little tigher, told him you loved him one more time, kissed him that much longer. It's hard.
The nights are the worst, when you get into bed and he's not there.
I'm the kind of woman that can't really sleep or relax without my husband around.....he needs to be there, at least in the house somewhere, even if he's in the next room watching tv, that's when I feel the safest. Needless to say last night was spent tossing and turning, but I did get a very sweet "Good Morning" text at 5am. Had it been anyone else I would have been irritated for it being so early *snicker*
So it's me and the kiddos for now, just going through the motions.
Jasmine misses her daddy but being older she understands a bit more, Nicholas on the other hand is 6 years old, he's still my baby and he still doesn't get what is going on. He went to school crying yesterday and he went to bed miserable again, all he talks about is his daddy and where daddy is and what daddy is doing. But you know what, they're tough little cookies, I think all military children are!
Anyway, I'm sorry for venting, I think I'm going to go blog hopping and visit some of my favorites, I'm falling behind again in my reading AND posting. I've been awful at it lately haven't I?
Well I'm off to go spend some time with my kids. Hope you're having a good weekend and if your hubby is nearby, be sure to give them a big hug and thank the Lord that you can.