{ Happy 21st Birthday Jasmine }

Well that was a big hard to type up.  21.  My little red head, turned 21 years old today.  I don't know how that is possible because when I look at her all I can see is the tiny baby, that made me a mama way back when.

But here we are.

How quickly time has flown by. Our girl is beautiful, has the biggest heart is driven, funny, quirky and just like her brother, has the sweetest soul.

She is hard working, at times stubborn like all get out, but that's par for the course isnt it?

My wish is that all her dreams come true, that she continues to grow as a woman, that she continues to stay on course and unaffected by the negative influences of today's world and that God blesses her in every thing she does.

Is a 21st birthday, even a birthday without the obligatory "look at me, I'm legal to drink and could drink this whole bottle if I wanted to, even though my parents only gave me one glass".  LOL

I can't wait to see what the future holds for her. The past few years haven't been easy, she has been through a lot, but has also grown substantially from all that has come her way. Everything she has suffered through has ultimately made her the woman she is today.

But the joy of having a blog like this one, is that I've been able to document their life, both Jasmine and her brothers', and it's amazing to sit back and see how they've grown, what they've been through and how they grew through it.  So blessed that God put me on this path many years ago.

Jasmine, we love you so much and we could not imagine life without your craziness around. Have a wonderful birthday baby girl!!! ❤❤❤

{ Happy Birthday Jasmine - The big 20 }

Y'all!!!!  I have a twenty year old, a TWENTY.YEAR.OLD!!!

I just can't even wrap my brain around that. 

My baby, the little girl that made me a mama, my feisty red head, my mini me, turns 20 years old today. 

She is working, she is growing up, she is a woman, and I'm sitting here just wondering where on earth time went.

Our daughter has gone through a lot, but she's managed to come out on top, pushed through the obstacles, the heart aches, failed relationships and a tough battle with depression and anxiety.

She is absolutely glowing, loving life, full of ideas for the future and just basically enjoying every minute of growing into an adult.

As parents, we sit back and watch and try to guide, which isn't always easy but watching your children grown from little ones to full grown adults with a life of their own, is insane.  I'll leave it at that. 

So today, as she turns 20, my wish for her is that when the hard moments in life come knocking at her door, that she will continue to have the strength, wisdom, morals and values to guide her through and come out shining on the other side.  The world is at her feet, and it can be scary at times, but beneath the sweet and tiny little body, is a fierce, strong, driven young woman and whatever she sets her heart to, I know she will achieve.

Happy Birthday my babe, I love you and I'm so proud of everything you've accomplished until now. 

{ In my element }

My wonderful husband told me to stay home today, and let him do Jasmine's drop off.  I did say I would go, but he was adamant that I stay home and do what I needed to do :)

Oh I needed today so badly.  It's not that I'm out of the house all day long because I'm a stay at home mom, but the past month the driving back and forth has meant 4 trips every morning and 4 trips every afternoon or night, depending on her schedule.  It makes it harder to get things done in the house because I'm constantly having to keep an eye on the clock to be sure I am where I need to be.

{ And then it happened }

My day was your typical Sunday, chores, laundry, dishes and pottering around the house.  I cleaned out two of our hallway closets and moved some things around.  In doing so I found my box with all my African decorations.

{ What a blessing }

We often taken things for granted.  We often think that we're alone or not surrounded by people who love us and care about us.  And we're often very wrong.

I've been immensely blessed with wonderful friends, some who I have never met in person, yet are some of the most treasured friendships I have in my life.

The other day I mentioned that I broke my camera lens.  I've had my camera since 2010, yes that long, I've cherished it, I've taken care of it, I've been oh so careful with where I set it down, when I take it anywhere etc., so when I busted the lens I was heartbroken.

I've been wanting one for a while but it's not something that is within our budget at the moment, but it's such a huge part of my daily life that I was feeling very sad not being able to really take many photos anymore.

That's when one of those amazing friends that I'm blessed with, stepped in.  I've known Jen for so many years, we met through the blog, I've watched her children grow and she mine and we've become very good friends without ever having met.

She had an extra lens and decided to gift it to me as an early birthday present.  I could not believe it and honestly still don't quite know how to ever thank her.   If that wasn't enough, she sent me a few other goodies, because she knows me extremely well :)

She knows how much I love my teas, and I am quite sure I'm going to love these.  Just look at those flavors.  Yum!!!

And an Amish cookbook, I mean.....that's me right there.  I can not wait to sit and look through the recipes, I'll be making many from there, I'm quite sure.

So thank you Jen, I've already thanked you but you deserve all the love and recognition in this world :)

While I worked around the house, the Mister was just living the good life, laying around, enjoying his naps.  He is so cute, I just want to squeeze him.

Can you tell I have my wonderful lens back?  I don't know how I would live without my camera, I think I would be so unhappy not being able to capture my life.

I've also been working on my Atlanticus blanket.  I am almost finished with Part 4, hoping to be done with that tomorrow and then I can move on to Part 5, but I'm running low on yarn, so we'll see how far I get.

Speaking of crochet, I decided to end my Nuts about Squares blanket and just join the squares I have now, see how big it is and maybe work on an edging.  It will probably just be a lap afghan and that's fine with me :)

I worked a little more on my blog to book for 2010.  Also did a little more work on Jasmine's cosplay gun.  I'm a little stressed with it because I'm not used to making prop weapons and really have no clue what I'm doing, but I'm trying very hard to make it look semi good, so we'll see how it goes.  Talk about pressure.

All my housework is done, the only thing on the list that I didn't get around to was the dusting, but I'll do that tomorrow morning.

Right now I'm sitting here with my girl, actually she's laying and sleeping on the couch next to me.  She's not feeling very well, it's that time of the month but I think she's also got a bit of a cold.  If I told her I was going to take a photo she would have said NO, and at this age I gotta get what I can so since she's asleep, here's my chance right?  :)

No matter how old they get, I still see them as babies when they sleep.  Boy time has flown by.

Right, it's now 8pm and I really need to start getting things ready for bed.  Part of my nighttime routine is to get my coffee machine ready for the next morning so it makes the coffee when the alarm goes off, I better go and tend to that.

Hope you all have a good night.  God Bless!

{ Only happens to me.... }

Oh you gotta come in and listen to this.  LOL

I swear, I have the weirdest things happen to me, or maybe not weird but funny.  Let me tell you about my adventure at the Lab this morning.

I told you yesterday that I had to go in for some blood work, and I had to fast, so I couldn't have my coffee this morning or any breakfast before I got that done.  I made a big cup of coffee and a sandwich because I'm not used to going without eating in the morning and it makes me feel nauseous.

Got to the hospital, went to the lab and checked in and the nurse asked me if I would be able to provide a urine sample. I thought "Oh crap, I JUST went to the bathroom before leaving the house.".

In my defense I was never told about a urine sample, only about the blood work, but apparently this is routine now?  So anyway, I tell her that I can try and she says they don't need a lot and blah blah blah.

I take the cup into the bathroom, and if you've ever had to give one of these samples you KNOW all the steps, with the little towels and not touching the inside of the cup, and so on.

I don't want to go total TMI (too much information) here, but I do have to tell you the story, so bear with me.  Hahaha

Sitting there I have the list of do's and dont's, on the wall, right in front of me.

Use the towel and whatever....dispose of it in the trash can provided.  (trash can is clear on the other side of the bathroom wall so I can't reach it)
Then I try to go and I can't.  If you know me, and actually it's like a running joke in our family because everyone knows that I constantly have to go, like all the time LOL

I tried running water, I tried not thinking about it.  Nope, not happening.

Then I'm thinking about the cup and wondering what do I do.  I can't put it in the little round metal door thing cause I didn't do anything.  Do I just walk out with the cup and it's one drop, cause that's really all I could muster up?

I sat there for about 10 minutes not knowing what to do, then finally walked out and told the nurse that I couldn't do it, sorry, I'll just sit in the waiting room with my little cup until I need to go.  Problem is, I haven't had anything to drink for 12 hours, I didn't even drink water so I knew I wouldn't need to go.

Meantime they went ahead and took my blood, all 5 vials of it.


I kept thinking that I had my big cup of coffee in the car and maybe I need to go chug that down.  So I told her I'm leaving, handed her the cup and told her I would be back.  My idea was to go to the car, eat my sandwich, chug down the big travel mug of coffee and get something happening.
 

I ate, I drank the whole mug and nothing.  After 20 minutes I thought "well this is ridiculous, I'm going home and when I need to go, I'll just quickly drive back and pee in the cup."  LOL

We only live 10 minutes from the hospital so it was totally doable.  I drove all the way home, and the minute I pulled into the driveway, I had to go.  Hahahahahaha

Drive all the way back to the hospital and finally give them the sample they needed.  I mean.....what on earth????

Anyway, I just thought that was a funny story, hope I didn't scare anyone with the urine conversation, but we're all friends here and we all know how that goes.

I'll get the results back next week, so we'll see what they have to say.  Of course I'll let you all know.

Had two packages arrive this afternoon.  The first was Jasmine's heat gun that she bought from Bed, Bath and Beyond.  It's going to be a huge help in creating her foam gun for the cosplay.

The second package was another book for review.

I have so many on the pile to read right now, and I'm pretty excited about all the different titles.  My summer reading list just keeps growing.  Between last night and this afternoon, I was asked to review 2 more books. 

I didn't get too much else done today.  The usual dishes, making dinner, which was Chicken Wellington tonight, and putting some more laundry away.

I have got to get on the ball with that.  I am good with washing and folding but the putting away is what gets me, it's my least favorite house chore if I'm to be honest.

I'm feeling much better today, though this afternoon while making dinner I felt a little lightheaded and off again, but I have to remind myself that I just started the medication yesterday and that there is fluid in both ears, and that takes time.  Here we go again with my unwillingness to let God control every aspect of my life.

Time to dig back into You're Late Again Lord.  This book is a total lifesaver, though I tend to forget all it's crucial lessons once I'm done reading.  I don't know if I'll ever quite learn how to be content in my faith and open minded to the waiting period.

Waiting is inevitable for us all.  We can either spend the time with complaints and arguments and disgust or use the time for worship and growth and understanding.

Such a simple concept isn't it?  Then why do I struggle with it so much?  And will I ever learn?

I'm always wanting things done NOW, finished NOW, solved NOW, fixed NOW.  It's almost like when I tell my kids that they don't appreciate their stuff because they didn't have to work for it.  Then here I am, just expecting too without wanting to put in the work.

Tsk, tsk, tsk Sandra!!!

Oh I also got in out graduation pics that were taken by the photographer, so let me share those with you.  I was SO sick on this day, fever, sore throat, cough.  It was hard to make the 4 hour drive to the graduation location and smile through it and all, but I had to do it for my girl.  Hope you enjoy the pictures, and don't be shocked at my Nick's height, the boy is 14 and taller than us all, including dad. 

 Jasmine with her principal.  This moment choked me up, so proud of her.

I wanted to cry so badly, but I kept it together.  That rose was the rose that she gave me during the ceremony, all the graduates handed their moms a rose :)

He is so proud of her.  He's also been struggling so much with her growing up and knowing that he is no longer the only man in her life.  On the other hand, she's an adult now, wanting to spread her wings and be independent, so there's a lot of clashing but there's also a huge amount of love between them.

Here's the elusive Nicholas.  He is the typical 14 year old who hates taking his picture and does NOT believe in smiling at all.  I do have a beautiful family, if I say so myself, and I count my blessings every day :)

It's so crazy to see us at this point in our lives and to think in just 4 years we'll be doing this again with Nick.  My word.

Well, I think it's time for me to get on out of here, it's kind of hard to type with a 70 pound puppy in my lap.  When your legs start going numb, you know it's time to move. ;)

{I'm so tired.....}

It's been a really busy, on the go, day.

We were out the door at 10am and didn't return until almost 5pm.  But I loved every single minute that I was out with my husband and daughter.

The day started with a therapy appointment for Jasmine.  It was her last one and she was officially discharged by her therapist.  I can't even begin to tell you how proud of her we are, she's come so far from that first day we brought her into the therapist's office.  It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

AS a parent we have the idea that if anyone can fix our children's problems, it's us.  There's no one out there that can do it, no one out there knows them better.  So when faced with the reality that they're struggling, they're in trouble and it is completely out of our hands, it's so hard to hand over that control to someone else.  I mean, let's face it, I don't even like giving out control to God over smaller things (I know, it's a huge problem for me and a lesson I've been trying to learn for decades).  But that day, in that office, my daughter was completely broken, falling apart, a mere shadow of the bubbly happy child she'd always been, and I had to sit back and hand over the reigns, knowing that she would rather talk to a stranger than to her own mother.

What a tough pill to swallow, but looking back, it was the best and most unselfish thing I could have ever done for my child.  What a huge difference from a year ago :)

Anyway, she was officially discharged, the therapist is beyond thrilled with her progress and how far she's come and really proud of her too.  She crept right into her heart and she was teary eyed as she said goodbye to her.  I can't even begin to thank her enough for what she did for my child.  I'll forever be grateful.

After we left the therapy appointment, we went straight to Midwestern State University to speak to Admissions.  Jasmine is interested in attending the school, wants to do Fine Arts and Theatre and is all excited about the possibilities ahead of her.  We had a very good talk with the admissions person and got all the info we needed.  We are now beginning the application and registration process, gathering transcripts and starting out FAFSA applications and all that fun stuff.  I can't believe we are here, at this point already, especially since this past week I've been revisiting the year of 2006 in my blog and my girl was just 7 years old.  Time FLIES!!!

We then stopped by the mall, she wanted to pick up a gift for her dad for Father's day.  This is what she got, she actually saw it about two weeks ago and immediately wanted it for her dad.  How sweet is that?

I also have to show you what my husband got me.  I was shocked.  But he's been hearing me complain about the dark circles under my eyes and the wrinkles and how I can't find a good eye cream and so on.  He surprised me with these today.

This one below is actually for me and Jasmine.  Because of her anxiety she is constantly messing with her fingernails and cuticles.  This will help with that.

And these are the ones for me.  I already tried them and was shocked at how well the serum worked, it was almost instantly and my wrinkles were gone.  I will have to do a post and review on these for you all and show you just how well it works.





We stopped at Cottonpatch Cafe for lunch. By far my absolute favorite restaurant. So good.

After lunch we had to run to the realtor office to sign our new lease, we now have a 2 year lease on this house, but with the option to buy at any time, which we are ecstatic about. We definitely want to try and buy it in about a year, just want to get rid of our credit card before that.

Made a quick stop at the UPS store to drop off Nick's school materials, and then our last stop was at Best Buy to try and find something that can access my external storage hard drive. The case itself where the cables hooked up to, stopped working and reading the USB connections. We were able to find something else, it's called a docking station that you can basically just pop your hard drive into and you can access it.

Problem is, for some reason, Windows 10 will NOT recognize it and won't automatically detect it or install the drivers. I spent about 2 hours working on it and can't seem to fix it, so I'm going to have to return this to Best Buy. I'm so frustrated because the storage drive holds ALL of my photographs dating back from 2003. I really do need to find a way to access it.

Anyway, I have to get going, Jasmine has decided that she wants a tattoo, and now that's 18, we really don't get a say. She has an appointment for 8:30 tonight and I have to drive her there.

I feel like so much is happening at once, so many changes with her lately, so I'm trying to take deep breaths and just go with it. Oh my friends, if you have little ones, hug them tighter, enjoy every single second because time just goes by so quickly and before you know it, you are where I am.

Have a wonderful Friday night, I'll be back tomorrow :)

{ Happy 18th Birthday to my beautiful daughter }

18 years ago, this beautiful red haired angel was placed in my arms , after a bit of a complicated labor and birth. In that instant my life changed!!!!

The time has flown so fast, it feels like just yesterday I was rocking her to sleep.  She's reached so many milestones in the past 18 years.....

Her first step
Her first word
Her first day of school
Turning 13 and becoming a teen
Turning 16 and well on her way to being a woman
and now this....turning 18 years old, becoming an adult and about to go out and face the world.

I remember how it felt, I was counting down the days until I turned 18.  I wanted to be an adult, to make my own decisions, to not have to answer to anyone or be told where to go, what to do and so forth.  The world was this big bright empty canvas and I was standing there holding a palette of beautiful colors and a paintbrush, just waiting to go out and add my own touch to the world.

I sit and watch this milestone and the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm incredibly blessed and lucky, to have been allowed to be her mother, and to be have been allowed to watch her grow over the past 18 years.  Some aren't as lucky and so I count my blessings and thank the Lord every single day for that.

As I go into this new Chapter with her, things have shifted.  I'm not longer a mother to teenagers or kids, I'm a mother to one teenager and an adult.  Strange feeling that is!!!

I'm happy, so happy for her but I would be lying if I didn't say that my heart is breaking, because I know that this is the beginning, this is the very first day of the next step which will be her leaving us.  

She is beyond excited but a little weary, she has waited so long to be an adult but she also knows all that it entails and a part of her wants to hold on to the childhood years.  She is eager for the next step, moving out, working, going to college, making a life with the man she loves.


I'm not sad because I am worrying, or scared for her, because truth is, as fragile and sensitive and emotional as she is, she also is extremely strong and determined, and I know that no matter what she encounters she will flourish and succeed.


We've definitely had our ups and downs, mostly ups thankfully, but we also have an amazing bond, one that I hope will continue for the rest of our lives. 

This past year my beautiful girl has had to grow up fast, she's had to face demons within, and dad and I have had to step back and face the truth that we can't always be the answer, that some things are out of our control or understanding and can't be fixed by us as her parents.   It's been hard, but it's also been one of the proudest moments for me as a mother.

Jasmine is drop dead gorgeous, bubbly, energetic, funny, a firecracker, she's strong, a survivor, incredible, sweet and brave and even a pain in the behind at times.  She's everything you could want and wish for in a daughter, and more. 

So today, as she turns 18, I want her to know that my wish for her is that she continues to love the Lord, that she develops a strong relationship with Him and places Him first in her life, I wish for her all the blessings that you can imagine and then some, I wish for her and Nick to continue being the beautiful, loving, respectful couple that they are to each other, I wish that everything she wants and desire, be hers.....and most of all I wish that when the hard moments in life come knocking at her door, that she will continue to have the strength, wisdom, morals and values to guide her through and come out shining on the other side.

I love you more than I could ever put into words Jasmine. The world is yours baby girl, go out there and conquer it, but always know that if you need and want, mommy's arms are wide open waiting to catch you and hug you and help you get back on your feet.

Happy Birthday my babe, I love you!!!!

{ Jasmine's 18th Birthday Get Together }

She's not officially 18 until Tuesday the 25th, but when you have family all over the place, and her birthday falls on a week day, it's easier to throw a get together the weekend before, or after, whichever works for the family.

I had planned on doing it next weekend but my mother in law is currently going through chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer, and she couldn't make it next week as she is having one of the treatments on Thursday.  So we switched it all up to this Saturday, in order to accommodate her and allow her to be here for this special birthday.

Friends, I am a total mess at the moment.  I'm ready to cry at the drop of a hat, I'm struggling with her growing up and I don't quite know what to do with myself.

Anyway, I wanted to show you a few pictures from her get together, it wasn't anything big, she didn't want anything more than just a cake and the closest family members around, so it was perfect.

First and foremost, may I introduce you to mini me?

Holy smokes she really is a carbon copy of me, especially at her age.  It's crazy.

Now I will have another post up on her actual birthday and it's going to be a really hard one for me to write because my emotions around this big birthday are all over the place.  That's for another time, let me just show you some pics.

I will never have smooth cakes, like never.  I'm determined to continue using and dabbling with fondant but the smooth thing?  Not gonna happen LOL

I guess it's a little mirror of my life, full of wrinkles and bumps but beautiful none the less :)

I kept it very simple, just little flowers but she lovesssss feathers and I had some decorative ones laying around so just popped them on the bottom.

Now here's the all elusive Nick.  This 14 year old boy hates photos and at this point in life pretty much hates social interaction of any kind, so to have him do this was quite unexpected and hilarious LOL

He adores his sister though so he did it for her :)

This is my Jasmine, everything in these pictures capture her essence, and who she is.

Bubbly, fun, colorful, all over the place, living life freely and to the fullest.

What these pictures don't show you is the constant struggle inside, the depression and the anxiety, the over emotional, doubting, questioning turmoil she faces on a daily basis.  But she fights it and she pushes through and she is determined to not let that define who she is.  I'm so proud of her!!!

I have to laugh when I see this picture because this is our life on a daily basis, her expression cracks me up.

Father and daughter, they've had quite a tumultuous relationship.  I think they are very much alike and she reminds him a lot of how he was at her age, which terrifies him lol

They've been doing a lot better the past year, they seem to finally have clicked and even though there's still a little clash once in a while, for the most part they are getting along fine.  It all boils down to her growing up and dad not being ready for that.

Grandpa Ken and Grandma Pat.  How fun are these grandparents?  Hahahah 

I'm so proud of my mother in law, she is battling breast cancer for the second time around, and she's doing wonderfully under the circumstances, I think a big part of it is her unwavering faith.

But yes, we are so thrilled and thankful that she is able to still come to these get togethers :)



Aunt Nita, she is the sweetest lady ever.  We were so happy that she was able to be here with us and smile and laugh.  If you remember, she just lost Uncle Mike a few weeks ago, so to see her smiling means a lot :)

Here's cousin Cindy, Jasmine loves her to death and vice versa.  :)

And we all love this lady hahaha  This is Aunt Carol, my mother in law's sister and Cindy's mother.  She is such a fun person to be around, the kids all love her and we do too.  If you want to enjoy a good card game, she's the person to go to :)

My babies.  Oh my word, they make my heart so proud.  Can you believe she's the big sister? hahahah

They adore each other but can fight like cat and dog.  There are days that it seems the minute they wake up they are at each other's throats, but when it comes down to it, they defend each other, and protect one another and are always together when they can :)

My nephew Colby hahaha  Let me tell you something, when he and Jasmine get together, they're trouble with a capital T.  These two have such a cute bond, they make us laugh so much with their craziness.  Trying to get a serious photo out of them is near impossible.

My brother Miguel and my sister in law Hayley.  If you remember, a while back I told you they moved down to Texas to be near us.  I'm so beyond happy and blessed to have them nearby,  I don't know what my life would be without them.  I have actually been friends with my sister in law for almost 30 years, it's insane, I don't think of her as anything other than my sister :)

I have to share this picture because my daughter wants to move out in a few months and all she's asked for her birthday was things for the home.

I never thought I would be at this stage in my life hahaha  I'm not ready for this at all, and it's so strange seeing her excited about house stuff, but it makes me smile, she's definitely her mama's child all excited about kitchen utensils hahah

So there you go, just a peek at our get together, like I said above, I will have a different post up on Tuesday on her actual birthday.

Right, I'm going to go have a cup of coffee and check on my chicken that is roasting in the oven.  I have been cleaning all day long, first to get things back on track from the party, but I also did all the laundry, cleaned the washer and dryer and the laundry room itself, mopped and swept, cleaned the bathrooms and the turtle tank. 

Now, I'm finally going to sit and rest for a bit before I have to get dinner finished and the table set and dishes washed and all that fun stuff.

I hope you're all having a fantastic weekend.  Hope to see you back for Happy Homemaker Monday in the morning :)