For the first time last night I had an anxiety attack

it wasn't pretty and I have never in my life felt so out of control with my body and mind.

I have been feeling it coming on for the past week, I was stressed, I was worried, I was letting doubt and what if's cloud my judgement and I was ALLOWING the negative energy to take over. I have to tell you, it's the worst feeling in the world. My heart was racing, I felt like I couldn't breathe, I had a chest pain, I felt crazy and nervous and shaky, it was just horrible.

This morning I woke up and I decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I've backed myself into a corner where I do not like what I'm seeing. I remember a couple months ago where I was at my closest to God that I have ever been, my life was peaceful, it was calm and I was happy, extremely happy. Nothing bothered me, I put it all in His hands and I was content with what I had and where I was.

Then the news of the move to Arizona came and I felt myself engrossed in the planning and the packing, I didn't have time for prayer, I didn't have time to devote myself to the Lord and I slowly started slipping away, not even realizing where I was heading. I've felt distant the past couple of months and I've tried to get back what I had but I have to admit, shamefully so, that I didn't try hard enough. I didn't really devote myself to it, I wasn't putting my energy into it, it's almost like I adopted this lazy attitude, this complacence....."Oh I was there before, I'm sure I can just say I want it back and have it again". WRONG!!!!

Last night for me was a huge wake up call, it was that final push that I had to give myself. So this morning I cried and I begged and I offered myself to Him again and asked Him to forgive me and to please help me. I literally put my life into His hands and right away I felt a difference, needless to say, my anxiety today is minimal, I feel so much better and able to function and I'm smiling, thinking positive and looking forward to what life is going to bring my way. Praise the Lord, I finally feel I've turned a corner.

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I had to get that off my chest before I could continue my post, you know when you get something on your mind and you just have to talk about it??? That's what I felt like.

Anyway, I sat down earlier and worked on my schedule, I needed to get it tweaked since the last time I drew it up, times have changed and things are a little different here, so I did that and tomorrow is my first day of sticking to it. We'll see how that goes.

I am so excited, one of my favorite bloggers, Kelli, said she had a great announcement to make and low and behold, she DID. We were anxiously awaiting the news but it was worth the wait. This is what she had to say:

Seasonal Delights is a quarterly online magazine for young ladies and their mothers, but can be enjoyed by anyone who loves celebrating the joys of each passing season! It is created and produced by my husband and me.

The first issue is 20 full-color pages filled with crafts, recipes, sewing projects, and many other Autumn-themed activities.

I about jumped out of my chair, are you KIDDING me, I've always admired Kelli and now to know that she has this gem out, yeah, I couldn't subscribe fast enough LOL

If you're interested go on over to her magazine site, Seasonal Delights and sign up.

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Nicholas and I went back to the base library yesterday, we always have so much fun there, he loves the Children's Room as you can see in the pictures.

I'm going to keep this post short, whatever that means for me LOL, I have to start dinner soon and I also need to get some laundry put away.

I'm exhausted, that attack last night really drained me and I'm tired and I am counting down the minutes until bedtime. Hope you're all having a wonderful day.