{ In the midst of the storm, finding our balance is essential }

The storm around us seems to be ongoing.  Some areas are seeing the end of it, others are still very much in the middle of it's chaos, and it's becoming increasingly hard for people to stay strong and to power through it.

Life has become an uncertainty.  Things we were used to are no longer the same, and I don't even mean big things, but even the small act of going grocery shopping has become an ongoing battle.

The things we took for granted are the things that we now look back on fondly, miss, and wonder if we will ever be able to fully go back to doing them.

This past week has been a week of reflection for me.

I started this week thinking that I was going to be blogging every day, taking a lot of photos, doing some projects around the house, maybe even get into my spring cleaning, after all, now is the time to do it since we have so much time on our hands.

But as the week moved on, I quickly realized that I needed some time to digest it all.

I don't quite think that I really took it all in.  Before I go on let me say though, I'm fully aware of the severity of the situation, I'm not in denial by no means, shape or form, and I have not worried or been fearful about it, from the beginning.

However, this week, I started mulling it all in my head and thinking about the situation we find ourselves in, and it's quite a strange feeling realizing that you are at home, with no control over anything and just waiting for it all to end.

Because as the days turn into weeks, and we are now about to go into a month and a half of shelter in place, I find myself feeling a little discombobulated with it all.  I just want to know when it will end, when life will go back to the way it was, when we can freely move about and do what we need to do and not think about masks, or hand sanitizer and trying to remember what you touched when you were out or where you were.

So the past few days, I've stepped back and let God put in my heart, what He needs me to do, think, and be through these days ahead.

The word that continuously came into my mind was balance.

Finding balance.

Knowing what we can't change, and working on the things that we can.  Letting go of what we can't control, and taking control of those we can.

I almost have to laugh, because it's a lesson that God has been working on me, for so many years, my entire adult life to be fair.  He has tried to teach me this lesson and I've always struggled, until very recently, within the past year or so, where I've started to actually listen and leave it in His hands.

It's hard, oh my gosh is it hard, but I am happier and calmer than I've ever been.

So where does the balance come in?

I think that we need to be in the moment, knowing what is going on around us and in our country, but we need to balance that out with what our lives are inside our homes.  Where chaos and uncertainty may run rampant outdoors, inside we need to create an atmosphere of love, of cozy, of safety not only for our families but ourselves as well.

When I am going out of my house, which has been very, and I mean very few times this past month, 2 or 3 to be exact, and I didn't leave my car at any of these outings either, I have to be in the moment, which means conscious of where I am, what I'm doing, wearing a mask and so on.

But the minute I step inside, the balance shifts to being calm, joyful and relaxed.

Now is the time to learn a new skill, to pull your old sewing machine back out (and you don't have to be making just masks, make something for your home, or an article of clothing for yourself, your kids or husband ).

Start that sourdough starter you've been wanting to try for so long.  Light a candle, read a book, clean, organize, start a new project, renovate, watch a movie with your kids, bake with them.

There has to be balance in our lives.

We can't just be worried and panicked, living with nothing but thoughts of the virus and impending doom over our heads, same way that we can't bury our heads in the sand, shut out front doors and live like nothing is happening out there.

Balance, again that word just kept hammering in my mind.

I think I'm going to work very hard at putting balance back into my life.  I hope you think about it too and see if there needs to be something you should be doing, to create a safe haven for yourself and your family, away from the serious battle raging outside.

In other news, and quickly changing subjects, I received a gift that my Jasmine ordered for me as an early Mother's Day present.  She knows me very well, and I think when you see what it is, you will also know that it's perfect for me.

A new Cath Kidston bag.  Isn't it absolutely gorgeous?  It can be worn as a cross body bag, or just as a normal handbag.  Totally up my alley, totally me and I couldn't wait to wear it out today.

Which I did, as I had my mammogram appointment.  How is that time of the year again?  Didn't I just have a mammogram a few months ago?  Hahahah

I swear I am so lost on time right now. 

Anyway, Jasmine went with me as she needed to talk to someone at the hospital about her insurance and so on.

The way the hospital is conducting appointments now, is that when you pull into the parking lot and park your car, you then have to call the mammography imaging department and let them know you have arrived.  In order not to have too many people in the waiting rooms and keeping social distancing rules, they will then call you back and let you know when you can head in and check into the hospital.

We didn't have to wait, as they were ready for me, so we headed right in. There were two nurses and a security officer outside the door to the main lobby.  We had our temperature taken, were asked a few questions and then an orange bracelet was slipped around our wrist to show that we were not sick.

Definitely a big change from the previous visits, but that's ok, I am glad they have these checkpoints before entering the hospital.

I'm just glad I got the mammogram out of the way, and of course now we wait for the results, which should be in by Monday morning.

My review book shelf is filling up again, so many good books coming in.  The Ancestor will be reviewed and on tour next week, and I'm starting Simon the Fiddler this weekend. 

This weekend I have my usual homemaking chores to do, but also picking up our groceries at Walmart in the morning, and going to the local butcher as well.  I am hoping they have chicken, we haven't had much chicken at all for weeks, it's hard to find in the grocery stores.

Hopefully there will be more gardening, some shelving going up in the house and whatever else we can get to.

I hope you are all having a good Friday and that you're finding that balance in the middle of all this.

May God continue to bless you and watch over you, and your families.
♥♥♥♥♥♥