Just me ♥

Barefoot in the kitchen.....minus the pregnant part, of course!

Remember that old saying about women being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?  Many women took offense and probably still do.  I never did, but then again I've always been different in my way of thinking, I have always wanted to be a mom and wife from the moment I can remember.

At five years old, my favorite game to play was pretending to have my own family and home.

While my brothers played outside with their friends, I would sit inside with all my dolls.  I would separate my room into different areas, pretending the entire room was my house.  I gave my dolls baths, I prepared meals, I put them down to bed, pretended to clean and so on.

My brothers thought I was weird, my great grandma thought I was sweet, my parents would chuckle at the innocence, knowing full well as grown adults with a family to raise, that it wasn't as easy and magical as I made it out to be in my childlike mind.

Still, that was my dream and my entire life was led thinking of the moment that I would get married, have children and my own home.

In my pretend play, I would always put on a cute dress for the day.  Oh and an apron, because I always saw my great grandma wearing one, well my grandmother too but I spent more time with my great grandma and she was by far the biggest influence in my life.

She would put on her apron in the morning and then start her day.  Her apron pockets would eventually be filled with all sorts of random things by the time we got to dinner.  She just collected things as she went about her homemaking, Could be an item that was in the wrong spot and needing to be placed back in it's rightful place, or a Kleenex, or a coin, just whatever.  

I would often sit at the kitchen table expectantly waiting for her to start emptying the pockets, just out of curiosity.  We would both laugh at the random things coming out of her apron, almost like a magicians hat pulling bunnies and colorful streamers.  She would then say "this is why you wear an apron, not just to keep your clothes clean, but in order to have a place to keep things in."  And I would laugh, and then she would laugh. 

This afternoon my husband, brother in law and son, went to the movies.  They met up with our daughter and her boyfriend at the theater, and they all watched the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie.  Not something I like so I chose to stay.

It's very rare that I am completely alone, there is always someone here, usually my brother in law who works from home, so to have the whole house to myself for 3 hours was unusual, to say the least.  

 

As I pottered around, my great grandmother came to mind.  I don't know why, but sometimes she just pops right in, fills my mind with memories and then pops back out, which leaves me sad because she's no longer here, but joyful at the same time for the blessing that God gave me, as her great granddaughter.  

She was a wonderful woman, a woman who didn't have an easy life, but made the best of it.  I did talk about her before, and I'm pretty sure I even shared a bit of her difficult childhood, I'll have to look and see and if not, I may just share it in upcoming post because she truly is an inspiration.

I got busy with small tasks around the house, there wasn't anything truly much to do as I had already cleaned the house top to bottom, yesterday.  But, just the little things like putting something back in it's place, fluffing a couch pillow, closing a drawer that was left slightly open, things like that.

I folded laundry (that is never ending is it?), and set aside a pile that I need to iron today, including Curt's work shirts and pants.  Many don't even iron in this day and age, but it's one of the homemaking chores that I hold onto for dear life.  It's so weird, there's no real explanation for why I enjoy it so much, but I just do.

While the boys were away at the movies, I also prepared dinner.  I made some ribs and threw in some leftover burgers that I had in the freezer and needed to cook.  Also made some rice and roasted veggies.

It was a good hearty meal for them to enjoy when they returned from the movies.  While dinner was finishing off in the oven, I did something I do every night, which is to get the coffee machine ready for the next morning.  I find it makes things easier when it brews the coffee right as our alarm goes off, it saves me time while I'm getting Curt's lunch ready.

I also changed out the wax melts on my warmer.  This was my first time using this specific scent from Walmart and I really like it.  It's called Feeling Cozy!

Then I sat down to eat my dinner, all by myself.  

I am not one to eat alone, never was.  I sometimes see people eating alone in restaurants and always feel so bad, and I know it's ridiculous because many people actually enjoying eating by themselves and have no problem doing it.  I just don't like it, and maybe it's because I grew up in a huge Portuguese family where mealtimes meant 15 people sitting around the table.

There was always a lot of food, a lot of talking, laughing, loud speaking with animated hands and a sense of family like no other.  At the head of the table was always the matriarch, my great grandmother Ema.  She prepared the meals for everyone, never complaining, never asking why her or why no one helps.  She enjoyed doing it on her own, and though she would sometimes ask for help for small things, she just preferred to take charge and get it done.

Sitting alone at the dinner table felt strange, and it made me reflect on old times.  How things change as you get older, how family members pass on, get married, move across the ocean or across states, and how the dinner table gets smaller and smaller.  

It's just a fact of life, but it's also the reason why we always eat at the table.  I've never let my children eat in front of the TV and I'm not saying that it's wrong for others, I'm speaking for myself and my experiences and my family.

We've always made it a point of having meals at the table.  It's a way to keep the family together, talking, bonded and aware of each other's lives and feelings.  It's also a way to hold on to traditions and to keep the table from being completely bare, as one generation takes over from the other.

The boys returned home from their movie, at their dinner and then we played a game of Five Crowns.

I once again cleaned up the dishes and put the kitchen to bed for the night.  And as I stood there, barefeet in the kitchen, doing what needed to be done, I once again thought about my great grandmother.  It's as if she was standing beside me.  I could almost picture her in my mind's eye, standing to the side, in her apron, a smile on her face and her arms crossed over her chest.

 

She nods in approval of the homemaker I have become and I feel such immense pride rise inside me.  She taught me well, and I hope that I can continue her legacy through my daughter and eventual grandchildren.

 

For now, this amazing woman will live inside my heart and soul, and the lessons she taught me will always be a part of my everyday life.

Obrigada Bio, por tudo que me ensinaste, e o amor que me deste desde crianca.  Sou a mulher que sou hoje gracas a ti.  Amo te ♥