Happy Homemaker Monday - 08/08/2016

Morning friends, hope you've all had a great weekend and are ready for the new week ahead.

I have a somewhat busy week, but not busy in the sense of boring or frustrating things coming up, more in the sense that I've decided I need to get back to my roots and my homemaking, and so with that in mind, I plan on getting a lot of projects completed around here.

I'm currently working on my bedroom, I have a couple mismatched pieces in there, and am painting everything black to match my bed set.  Also want to eventually paint the walls grey and put in some fairy lights and some pictures etc.  Can't wait to see it all come together, and yes, I'll show you what it looks like :)

Right, now let's get on with our Happy Homemaker Monday!!!

The weather.....
It's been hot around here, I often think that this Texas weather is very reminiscent of Arizona, in the heat department.  Difference being that here we get rain whereas in AZ, not so much.
Speaking of rain, we haven't had a good downpour in a few weeks or a month or two actually, so I'm hoping for some soon, and looks like this week we may get some headed our way.  Yay!!!

Right now I am....
Sitting on my bed, typing up this post.  From where I'm sitting I can see the back yard and the fields behind it.  It looks so pretty from here.  Anyway, I'm still in my pj's so need to get dressed soon, but first want to get this HHM post up.


Thinking....
That I have a lot to get done.  I need to get the kid's lessons ready because school starts on Monday the 15th.  Also need to get projects done around here, work on a new menu plan, etc.


On my reading pile....
First Star I See Tonight by Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

 

On my TV.....
Portuguese Soaps
Vlogs
General Hospital
Supernatural Season 11
Love and Friendship - will be watching this movie while I paint. 


On the menu for this week....

Monday - Bacon Fettucine Alfredo, Salad
Tuesday -  Vegetable Soup, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, Dessert
Wednesday - My Birthday (Pork Roast, Mashed Potatoes, Salad)
Thursday - Crockpot Chili, Cornbread
Friday -  Out to eat to celebrate my wedding anniversary
Saturday - Barbecue chicken wings, potato salad
Sunday -Meatloaf, Macaroni and Cheese, Broccoli


On my to do list today and this week....
Did all my laundry this past week so actually don't have any today.  Shocking!!! 
Homeschooling - get lessons ready for the first week
Housework- Vacuum, dust, mop kitchen floor, usual cleaning and tidying
Painting bedroom side tables and tv stand
Thursday morning taking Jasmine for a haircut and color
Thursday afternoon taking Jasmine for her therapy appointment


In the craft basket....
Nothing at the moment.

  
Looking forward to this week....
Another week in the Lord's presence, also getting back to proper homemaking.


Looking around the house....
It's quiet.  The only kid awake is my Nick who is on the Xbox playing.  My nephew and daughter are still asleep.
It's kinda dark because it's cloudy outside, I'm really hoping that we have rain coming in.

   
From the camera....
Pulled this book back out, and plan on rereading it. 

On my prayer list.....
My daughter.  I don't want to go into details, but she desperately needs the Lord's hand over her.  What worries me with this generation is how easily influence they are by society and stupid things they read on the internet.  I've been praying incessantly over her the past week, just for her to break free of some bad influences and really get back on track with God.


Bible verse, Devotional....
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the ope that is in you, with meekness and fear.  - 1 Peter 3:15 NKJV

{ A day in the life }

Good morning friends.

It's Wednesday morning and I thought I would come in a do a day in the life post, for yesterday.  I have yet to get out of bed this morning, well, I mean I have been up to make coffee for the hubby before he left for work and I did get myself a cup too and some toast.

But, I am still sitting up on my bed, watching vlogs, my Portuguese soaps, and basically taking it easy.

I need to charge my camera, the battery is dying, and as soon as that is done, I'll try to take some more pics today for you.

First of all, before I even show you my day, I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every single one of you, who left comments on my previous post.  Thank you, really, from the bottom of my heart.  I wasn't sure how my post would be taken and I certainly didn't want to come off as whiny or complaining.  It was just something I had to get off my chest and I'm glad I did because I've definitely felt all your prayers the past 2 days.

Things are still difficult, and I find that I have to reprimand myself numerous times throughout the day, when I start once again worrying about certain things.

It's a constant "Stop, you've given it to God, stop trying to take it back.".

I'm sure I don't have to tell you all how it is, we tend to revert back to old habits and it's hard to break free, but I'm trying.

I've also gone back to my daily devotionals.  I reinstalled my Youversion Bible App and picked a few plans to follow.

God will Carry you Through
Promises from God for your Child

I do still have a few others on there that I didn't get to finish from the last time I had the app, so I've decided to keep them and just play catch up.

Beating Burnout:  Finding Hope and Health
Esther Challenge
The 40-Day New Testament Challenge

I've already done all my reading for today and it's quite amazing just how God shows you what you need to read or hear, even in the most unexpected places.  Yesterday, pretty much every single friend or page I follow on Facebook had the same verse or said the same thing.....

Love it!!!

Anyway, wanted to thank you all so much for the comments, for the words of comfort, for the prayers and for all the advice, I truly appreciate it :)

Now to show you my day.....

Laundry, and organizing.  The red basket was filled with random cookbooks that I had been throwing in there.  I got the books put away where they belong, and the basket now holds my table cloths and placemats.

My laundry is never ending.  Thankfully, we have a new dryer and it's been such a blessing getting things done.

Worked on the new menu plans and also a new budget.  As I pay off certain bills, and have others added in, I'm constantly changing things around.  Again, we are blessed to have my husband's job which has been helping us get on track financially.

Dusted and reorganized my bakers rack.

The days have been beautiful here.  I can always count on stepping outside and feeling much better about everything going on around me.

The tree I picked to bury my beautiful Lola.  It's exactly two weeks today since she passed and I still find myself crying over her.  I miss her terribly and it still hurts to know she's gone for good.

We have hung this hummingbird wind chime on the tree branch right above her. 

I would love to say that I go out there every single day, but I haven't been able to, it is too hard to stand there knowing she's under the ground and gone.  I try to, but the minute I get anywhere near her grave the tears just flow and it hurts too much.

I'm sure with time I'll be able to do it, for now though, I just can't.

Today, I have more laundry to do and I want to clean out my back patio area.  It's such a mess right now, we had very strong winds last week and they've blown all sorts of stuff around, there's grass all over the concrete, the table and chairs are thrown about.  I hate seeing it like that but haven't had the energy to get out there and fix it.

So, today I'm working on that so that I can have a nice place to sit at and enjoy the fresh air.

I'll take pictures though and show you all later how it is looking.

I better get to it!!!

The Daredevil Snared by Stephanie Laurens - TLC Book Tour

• Mass Market Paperbook: 384 pages
• Publisher: MIRA (June 28, 2016)

Responsibility knocks, and a reckless, hedonistic man responds and opens the door to love—thus is a daredevil snared.

#1 New York Times bestselling author Stephanie Laurens brings you the third installment in THE ADVENTURERS QUARTET, continuing the drama of Regency-era high seas adventure, laced with a mystery shrouded in the heat of tropical jungles, and spiced with the passionate romances of four couples and their unexpected journeys into love.

Captain Caleb Frobisher, hedonistic youngest son of a seafaring dynasty, wants to be taken seriously by his family, and understands he has to prove himself sufficiently reformed. When opportunity strikes, he seizes the next leg of the covert mission his brothers have been pursuing and sails to Freetown. His actions are decisive, and he completes the mission’s next stage—but responsibility, once exercised, has taken root, and he remains in the jungle to guard the captives whose rescue is the mission’s ultimate goal.

Katherine Fortescue has fled the life of poverty her wastrel father had bequeathed her and come to Freetown as a governess, only to be kidnapped and put to work overseeing a child workforce at a mine. She and the other captured adults understand that their lives are limited by the life of the mine. Guarded by well-armed and well-trained mercenaries, the captives have been searching for some means of escape, but in vain. Then Katherine meets a handsome man—a captain—in the jungle, and he and his crew bring the sweet promise of rescue.

The sadistic mercenary captain who runs the mine has other ideas, but Caleb’s true strength lies in extracting advantage from adversity, and through the clashes that follow, he matures into the leader of men he was always destined to be. The sort of man Katherine can trust—with her body, with her life. With her love.

The first voyage is one of exploration, the second one of discovery. The third journey brings maturity, while the fourth is a voyage of second chances. Continue the journey and follow the adventure, the mystery, and the romances to the dramatic end.

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About the Author

New York Times bestselling author Stephanie Laurens originally began writing as an escape from the dry world of professional science. Her hobby quickly became a career; she has been writing historical romance novels for more than 20 years. Currently living outside Melbourne, Australia with her husband and two cats, she spends most of her days writing new stories in her signature ‘Errol Flynn meets Jane Austen” style.

Connect with Stephanie

Website | Facebook

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My Thoughts:

The Daredevil Snared is the third book in The Adventurers Quartet Trilogy.  Luckily for me I was able to read both the first and the second book, so when this one landed on my lap, I knew what the back story was and who the characters were.

Thing is, even if I hadn't read the previous 2, the author does a great job of catching you up and giving a quick run down of what has previously transpired.

In this third novel we follow Katherine and Caleb and the illegal diamond mining operation in West Africa.

The Frobisher brothers are in charge of locating this mine and investigating what has been going on. 

Having lived for many years in Africa, I found it quite enjoyable to read, especially the first part of the book as the 4 brothers make their ways through the African jungle in search of the mine.  As they finally arrive, they quickly realize that there are hostages being held, one of them of course, Katherine.

As Katherine secretly works with Caleb to find a plan to free the hostages and stop the illegal mine operations, they fall in love. 

Much like the two previous books, I enjoyed the story, the characters, the setting and everything that surrounds it.  Bringing two places that I have a huge affinity for, England and Africa, into the mix, made this a very enjoyable read.

Thank you to TLC Book Tours for providing me with a review copy.

Life update!!!

Life has been difficult around here.  I don't know how else to put it, but plainly telling you that I'm struggling through a lot of things at the moment and I've even considered just getting rid of my blog because I don't have time to post, I don't feel that connection to it anymore and I'm not sure if I will get that blogging mojo back ever again.

I don't want to make any concrete decisions that I'll come to regret later on.  All I'm going to do is leave things as they are at the moment and hope that it all comes together in my life and my heart and my head.

I just am feeling extremely beaten down by life, it's a constant barrage of problems, losses, sadness and I don't quite know how to get through all of this.

I'm trying though, really I am, but I'll tell you that I've cried more the past 2 months than I have in the past few years.

I feel like we are under attack as a family, and it's been ever since we moved to Texas.  I don't regret our move, I don't regret the decision to be here and I certainly don't regret the amazing job my husband has.

It almost feels like we are having to fight to keep all this together because it's so good for us as a family, that it's made someone down there extremely irritated.

I've strayed from the Lord.  That's the honest to God's truth.  :(

And it wasn't for any specific reason, other than life got in the way and I got busy and focused on things that really don't need to be focused on.  I removed my sight from what matters, I became a wordly person instead of a Godly child and it's hit me hard, extremely hard.

The past few months have been excruciating, I will tell you that I would be glad to see this year come to an end, even though we're only halfway through it.  The heart ache, the difficult decisions and situations we've had to work through, the losses around us.  They've worn me down.

Lately I look at myself in the mirror and don't recognize the person staring back at me.  I've aged, my health is suffering for it, I've become hardened to a lot of things, I've cussed, I've said things out of anger, and I've tried so very hard to hold on to things and people that are no good for me.

I'm not sharing any of this to garner sympathy.  I just felt that I needed to get it out.  What you're reading is pure, truth, raw.

I feel like a broken woman.  I've had to fight for my marriage to stay together, we've struggled and in the midst of all the drama, problems, financial issues and uncertainties around us, we turned on each other instead of TO each other.  Hurtful things have been said and I honestly thought that my marriage was over.

Then our sweet Lola passed, and for the first time in what seems like forever, we turned TO each other and it felt like coming home after years of being away.  We stopped all the BS, we stopped all the drama and the bitterness and petty fights, and we really focused on us, on our marriage, and getting back to where we need to be.  Things are finally back on track in that area and I'm so extremely thankful and blessed to have my husband back.

Our beautiful daughter Jasmine, is another issue.  It's been so hard dealing with her anxiety and depression.  She is going to therapy, taking medicine for her depression and anxiety, and trying to find her way and who she is.

I was a teenager before, I know how hard it is to feel like you don't know yourself and you don't know who you are and where you fit in.  In my day things were already difficult but I feel like today, with social media and the way society is, it has made it so excruciatingly hard for teenagers.  They all feel like they need to fit within a certain label, a certain group, and there in itself lies the biggest issue.

I'm not going to talk about what all she is feeling or going through because it's private, and it's not something that I feel needs to be put out into the world.

I will share that my husband and I have been trying very hard to help her through everything she's going through, while at the same time struggling with our marital problems, giving her the unconditional love and support she deserves and needs from us, while trying to understand or learn to understand things that we ourselves have never experienced.

I ask you all to pray for her, and I mean pray really hard because at this point, she desperately needs it.

I've reached my breaking point.  I'm ready to give it all back to God again and to ask Him to please take me back and help me through this.  I need to get back to my faith, back to my roots so to speak, back to HIM.

I'm not saying that once I'm there, I will never have issues again or problems again, but I know for a fact having been through it many times before, that I will be able to get through them, and face them much easier than I am now.

It feels like we are in a huge battle at the moment, and to be honest, I felt like we were losing it.  I can't let that happen, I WON'T let that happen.

My family is everything to me.  My husband, my daughter, my son, they are the reason I get up every morning and face another day, even on those days where I want to fall apart and call it quits.  And believe me, there have been many days like that lately.

I'm turning 42 years old in 9 days.  9 days!!!!

I can not, and will not be beaten down.

Is life hard?  Yes!!!  
Does it feel unbearable at times? Yes!!!
Does it sometimes feel like we have no break from the negativity?  Yes!!!

But it's up to us to make that change, and to fight it or give in.  We have a choice, and for far too long I've left that choice up to chance, instead of grabbing hold of my own life and placing it in God's more than capable hands.  He's never let me down before.

 
I'm sorry that this post is not at all like my usual posts here on the blog.  I'm honestly bearing my heart and soul to you all, I've never in my life felt more vulnerable than I do at this moment, but I needed to do this.

People have this idea that my life is perfect, that I'm always happy and nothing goes wrong for us.  So I hope that by reading this, you will finally get a little insight into what it's been like for me.

I need prayer, I need comfort, I need someone to tell me that no matter how big this mountain looks, I will cross it and come out on the other side stronger than ever before.  That I will one day look back on these years and smile because I won the battle before me.

I'm scared, I'm weak, I'm emotionally and physically tired, I'm not myself, I lack motivation, I lack joy and the oomphff I used to have.  I just hope that it will all work out and I'll be back to myself soon.

I am sorry, truly, for neglecting you all as my readers, for neglecting my blog, and my faith and what matters.

Maybe I'm supposed to blog my way through this mess, maybe I'm supposed to use it as a way to jot down my feelings and try to make sense of it all.  I don't know.  I honestly don't know, and that right there is one of the biggest stress factors for me, the uncertainty of what is to come and where this will all end up.

For now, I've turned back to the one and only who can help me through it.  God!!!

Happy Homemaker Monday - 08/01/2016

The Weather:::

Still sunny, still hot, still no rain for a while.  We had rain in the forecast last week for at least 3 days and saw nothing but cloudy skies.  I don't mind summer but I also enjoy a bit of rain here and there, just to cool things off a bit. 

On my reading pile:::

Nothing, I had to put my book aside.  I don't have the brain to sit and read at the moment, really just can't concentrate.

On my tv:::

Portuguese Soaps
General Hospital
The American West
The Ghosts of Shepherdstown
Vlogs

On the menu for this week:::

Monday -  Spaghetti Bolognese, Garlic Bread
Tuesday -  Beef Stir Fry, Rice
Wednesday - Chicken a la King, Mashed Potatoes
Thursday - Crockpot Chili, Cornbread
Friday - Pork Parmigiana, Egg Noodles, Salad
Saturday - Roast Chicken, Potatoes, Carrots

On my to do list:::

Laundry
Housework

What I am sewing, crocheting, knitting or creating:::

Absolutely nothing.  I guess I could say I'm creating or attempting to create a simple, chaos free life?  It's not exactly working out too well for me though.

Looking around the house:::

I'm sitting on my bed, it's 8:32am and the house is super quiet.  My husband and brother and sister in law are off to work, the kids are asleep and I wish I was sleeping as well.  Didn't sleep well last night, had a lot on my mind and kept tossing and turning. 

From the camera:::

Made a Banana Upside Down cake a few days ago, it was at hit.

On my prayer list:::

My family, we just need a lot of prayer right now.