Saturday, September 13, 2014
After such a hard day yesterday, and the last few weeks too, I can say that today for the first time, I felt relaxed and extremely blessed.
I am certain that these feelings were brought on by the amount of kind words, sweet comments and prayers you showered upon me, after my very raw post yesterday morning.
I have gone back and read it a few times, and I think the feeling of despair is quite palpable.
You know, this is one of the reasons why I love having my blog, because on it, I can truly be myself. All the beauty and happiness, ugliness and heartbreak, dreams and goals and everything in between....right here on these pages where I can go back and read through and remember where I was, what I was doing and how I got to where I am.
I love that.
I want to thank you all so very much for lifting me up in prayer, believe me when I say that I felt it and I woke up this morning feeling that no matter what may come my way, I have wonderful friends surrounding me, and I have the Lord right there with me, giving me a helping hand...... and that my sweet friends, is all that matters.
I didn't get very good sleep last night, I kept waking up to check on little Missy above. Thankfully she has been ok since and is acting her normal chirpy self. I am happy, I am relieved, but I am not letting my guard back down because I do know that these things can happen just out of the blue and when we least expect it.
Good thing is that through this time, I have come to a place in my heart where I feel that if they are to continue happening, we will deal with it, we will help her as best as we can. This is not the end of the world and it is certainly not something to fall completely apart on.
I'm learning, slowly, but surely :)
This morning, as Curt headed to work, I got busy with my normal homemaking chores. Laundry was tossed around, dishes were done, counters wiped down and floors swept and mopped.
All the while, Miss Bella sat nearby, enjoying the sun coming in through the window, and keeping a sleepy eye on what I was up to.
She is getting so very old, her back legs are giving her problems, she has lost a lot of her hearing and we can see her health declining....but she continues to be the sweetest girl on earth and we love her dearly.
I worked a little on our budget notebook, stapled the grocery receipts to the menu plan/grocery list notebook and was still working on that when my hubby returned home.
He walked into the kitchen, gave me a big hug and asked me to put my shoes on because he was taking me to the Farmer's Market.
We didn't buy anything as we arrived a bit late and some of the vendors were already packing up, but we walked around a little and chatted. He then decided to take me over to the thrift store just for a look around, again we walked out without buying anything, nothing really caught my eye.
But here's the thing, even though we didn't buy anything, we still enjoyed every second of it. It is something that we love doing, being able to spend time alone and talk and really give our relationship the attention it needs.
When you're raising young children it is often very easy to put the marriage last, as we worry about everything and anything other than it. It does cause a lot of strain and sometimes you start feeling that you're growing apart.
When we were still in the military, I often felt that I didn't get any time with my husband, but since he retired we have made a huge effort to concentrate on us and our marriage, spending as much time as we can together and I can tell you, in all honesty that we are as much in love now as we were when we first got married. Matter of fact, our kids have joked quite a few times that we act like we are newlyweds. I'm fine with that :)
I hung my tablecloths and kitchen goodies outside to dry.
I love watching them flapping around on the clothesline, and I figure I better enjoy it now because here shortly we won't be able to do that anymore once the cold weather sets in.
Filled my Dessert Plate with some yummy homemade donuts. Oh these are such a huge temptation but I can't help it, especially when eaten along side a cup of coffee.
While I was in the kitchen, I also got an Overnight French Toast Casserole in the refrigerator, as we are having a Brunch with the family tomorrow.
I will share the recipe tomorrow on my food blog, so if this is something you think your family would enjoy, just keep an eye out.
Once I was done with all my work inside, we sat down and watched the new Doctor Who episode. I was asked quite a few times if I am liking the new doctor, and honestly, I am. I didn't think I would and when Peter Capaldi was announced as the new doctor, I was quite upset about it. As the new episodes have been airing though we've quite enjoyed him and so far are liking his portrayal of the Doctor. We'll see how it goes as the series continues.
We also watched the new show that premiered yesterday, called Z Nation. It's a zombie show much like Walking Dead, and so far the first episode was pretty good. My husband says it is like Walking Dead but on steroids LOL
I'm not one to sit in front of the TV all day though, so those two episodes were more than enough for me, then I needed a break and out to the deck I went with a few goodies under my arm.
Today's reading landed on the page "The Joy of Trusting God's Plan". Could that be any more poignant for all the trials and tribulations I am currently going through? My goodness.
And people still say God never shows signs. They are literally everywhere, we just need to open our eyes and not close ourselves to them.
We struggle because we choose the hard way, or at least, I struggle because I choose the hard way, and by that I mean the way of trying to do things and control things by myself. Time and again I fail, time and again I am shown that is not the way to do it, but yet, time and again I fall back to old habits.
I think I will forever be learning this lesson, actually I wouldn't be surprised if by the time I move on to my Heavenly home, I have yet to conquer this completely.
But boy does it feel so much better when I feel even a slight inkling of what it would be like to trust in God completely and let Him take all the burdens. So why is it so hard to do it? I don't know, but I am trying to find out.
I always feel so much better when I am reading and learning and spending time in His presence, just wish I would do it more often.
After reading for a while, I set the book down, and got some knitting done. It felt glorious outside, not hot, just perfect weather, the sun shining, the shade under the umbrella, birds chirping loudly from a nearby tree and my pugs playing in the grass.
You know life is so difficult at times, but I have always found that if I just go outside, everything seems to be so much easier to bear. It's like the fresh air makes my mind think clearly and the problems that seemed like a huge Mount Everest just a minute ago, inside the house, now seem like small hills easily overcome.
It is now 9:30pm, and I am outside again, typing up this post....but this time it is pitch black, and the only sounds are those of crickets in the distance. Beautiful 60 degrees, no wind and the stillness of the night to keep me company. You know if I could, I would plop a sleeping bag on the grass and sleep outside....problem is, I don't think I could handle all the creepy crawlies that skitter around the grass. GROSS!!!
I'll stick to my nice warm bed, but for now, I will indulge in the moment and the pretty perfect night around me.
If I could, I think my wish would be to have you all right here with me, around my patio table, with a cup of coffee or tea, a plate of cookies and warm chatter. Yes, that would be lovely :)