Friday, September 12, 2014
When it rains.....right????
I had a pretty difficult day yesterday, aside from all the grocery debacle, there were other things going on which I don't want to go into here on the blog.
I was hoping and praying that today would be an easier day and that I would have a sense of peace and calm and no worries.
That didn't happen, as we were woken up this morning to Lola having a seizure.
Remember when she had two back in 2013? She had one beginning of January and then another in May? Then she stopped having them, and now it's been a year and 4 months since she had any.
This morning caught me completely off guard. I hadn't slept much, I was up most of the night tossing and turning and was not prepared for this again.
It is truly heartbreaking when you see your pet go through this. I think all in all the whole seizure is traumatizing for both pet and owner, but the moment they start coming out of it, for me, is especially difficult because she doesn't recognize me, she doesn't know where she is, she doesn't even respond to normal trigger words such as TREAT.
I am completely overwhelmed right now, I feel like I am under attack spiritually and it's been non stop, slowly draining me.
To put it nicely, I am a total mess this morning and I have dark circles under my eyes that I am sure can be seen from outer space.
I am now trying to think back on yesterday, what did she eat, what did we feed her, did she get a hold of anything that we didn't see, did she overheat, did she stop breathing in her sleep. What brought this on?
All questions that I need answers to and of which at this moment I don't have any. I honestly feel so run down and tired and emotionally drained this morning, that I am forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other and just get through the day.
Of course today is also class day for hubby, so my rock, my pillar of support is not here and..........I just don't know.
Tomorrow will be a better day. I am allowing myself to cry, I am allowing myself to question why, and then I'm washing my face, putting on a smile and lifting my head as high as it can get.
I WILL make it through all the obstacles currently at hand.
If you feel inclined to, I wouldn't say no to a prayer thrown my way. I do so appreciate you all and there have been so many times that I have been in need of support and prayer and words of wisdom, and you have always come through for me.
Gosh I actually feel frustrated with myself for feeling so beat down, I know I'm strong, but sometimes even the strong feel helpless.
Right....going to get a cup of coffee and get ready to face the rest of the day!!!