Friday, September 12, 2014

When it rains.....right????



I had a pretty difficult day yesterday, aside from all the grocery debacle, there were other things going on which I don't want to go into here on the blog.

I was hoping and praying that today would be an easier day and that I would have a sense of peace and calm and no worries.

That didn't happen, as we were woken up this morning to Lola having a seizure.

Remember when she had two back in 2013?   She had one beginning of January and then another in May?  Then she stopped having them, and now it's been a year and 4 months since she had any.

This morning caught me completely off guard.  I hadn't slept much, I was up most of the night tossing and turning and was not prepared for this again.

It is truly heartbreaking when you see your pet go through this.  I think all in all the whole seizure is traumatizing for both pet and owner, but the moment they start coming out of it, for me, is especially difficult because she doesn't recognize me, she doesn't know where she is, she doesn't even respond to normal trigger words such as TREAT.

I am completely overwhelmed right now, I feel like I am under attack spiritually and it's been non stop, slowly draining me. 

To put it nicely, I am a total mess this morning and I have dark circles under my eyes that I am sure can be seen from outer space.

I am now trying to think back on yesterday, what did she eat, what did we feed her, did she get a hold of anything that we didn't see, did she overheat, did she stop breathing in her sleep.  What brought this on?

All questions that I need answers to and of which at this moment I don't have any.  I honestly feel so run down and tired and emotionally drained this morning, that I am forcing myself to put one foot in front of the other and just get through the day.



Of course today is also class day for hubby, so my rock, my pillar of support is not here and..........I just don't know.

Tomorrow will be a better day.  I am allowing myself to cry, I am allowing myself to question why, and then I'm washing my face, putting on a smile and lifting my head as high as it can get.

I WILL make it through all the obstacles currently at hand.

If you feel inclined to, I wouldn't say no to a prayer thrown my way.  I do so appreciate you all and there have been so many times that I have been in need of support and prayer and words of wisdom, and you have always come through for me.

Gosh I actually feel frustrated with myself for feeling so beat down, I know I'm strong, but sometimes even the strong feel helpless.

Right....going to get a cup of coffee and get ready to face the rest of the day!!!

24 comments:

Dawn said...

Awww I'm so very sorry to hear you've had a couple of really hard days. Of course I will be praying for you. You seem like such an amazing person. I'm sorry about the poor puppy. Hoping it all works out. Sometimes there is a reason for our trials, even if we can't understand why. Hang in there, Sandra.

Melissa Hopper said...

Aww I am sending hug your way. I hope you have a great weekend.

Mari said...

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time. It does seem that when it rains, it pours... I've not gone through seizures with a dog, but my son had them when he was young and it was awful. Praying your day is going better today!

Kamala f. said...

Bless your heart. I don't think there is anything more difficult than going through tough days and having your pet going through rough health at the same time. It truly is heartbreaking and I know for us doggie lovers it feels like our entire world is falling around us. In April I lost my mom to cancer and had my precious boston terrier Winston pass away from heart failure on the same day. I honestly didn't know if I would be able to make it through those days. God is faithful and He has carried me through that storm and His comfort soothed every fear and hurt. I am praying for you and for your precious little doggie girl, for healing and comfort and good days <3

Renate said...

Just wanted to say, "I'm praying". I know how you feel we have had a heck of a few weeks ourselves. Take it easy and give yourself a break. Try to leave your worries at HIS feet. I know it is hard but there is nothing HE can not handle. I hope Miss Lola gets to feeling better. Love, Renate

Wendi said...

Sorry things are so rough for you. :( It does seem that these things come in season and the season sure seems long. Praying things getting better for you.

Sarah H said...

So sorry to read about your difficult days. Hope that your sweet doggie is OK now and that you are having a better day.

Hugs and prayers. xx

Conny said...

Adding my prayers .... Our cat had a seizure shortly after we moved here. She was so weak for about 4 or 5 days, just laid there ... but then all of a sudden she was fine (I read cats get over seizures/strokes easier than humans do! Not sure about dogs).
Anyway ... praying your puppy is ok and you get some rest and catch a break soon!!!

A said...

prayers and hugs

Rachel said...

Prayers and HUGS being sent your way!

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

I am so sorry you are going thru so much right now sweetie. Praying for you still and always,

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

Dear Sandra ~ I'm so sorry that you've had a rough couple of days, and especially to hear about sweet Lola.

Love, hugs and prayers ~ FlowerLady

Cher said...

Prayers and big hugs for you Sandra. Hope tomorrow is better. Hang in there. xoxo

~Carla~ said...

Oh Sandra... soo sorry that things have been so rough for you lately! :( Love & prayers going your way! (((hugs)))

Sweet Tea said...

Very sorry you have all these stressors right now. - sick fur baby, financial issues, teens, and home schooling. All these things are great but a real "drain" when something goes a muck. ((HUGS and Prayers))

Dirt Road Primitives said...

Sandra I truly understand...my little Chloe is as yorkiepoo and she has anxiety something awful... Then she seizures not always thank goodness but oh I know what you mean its sad... I pray you get some peace and miss lola too.....
Sending hugs for a better weekend
Rhonda

Mary said...

Sandra, your family & your sweet little Lola will be in my thoughts and prayers. Keep your chin up, and keep on keeping on, even if you focus solely on getting through 5 minute increments at a time. With God, all things are possible.

Tina Leigh said...

Sandra the last two years have been so taxing on my every being. Yes there is an attack on us by Satan himself and he misses nothing! Even our dogs. My husband is my rock also, my best friend , sounding board. I depend on him so much yet there have been things these last two years that only prayer could/can/are getting me through. I have been desperate. I started walking early in the morning. It became my prayer walk. I have been crying ( literally at times) to Him. I will pray for you Sandra and you do the same for me. God knows the details so let's lift each other up to Him.

Deb said...

Hi Sandra ~ count on prayers going up from Arizona. I totally understand stressful days. We are in the middle of a lot of stress right now, most of which I have not mentioned at all on my blog as I try to keep that very positive. I hope your dog gets better and can go a long time without having another seizure. Remember God is over all and we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Carrie B. said...

'Come to Me and find rest'. - A line from my devotional this morning. I hope that things have gotten better & you've been able to have some rich communication with our Lord and he has helped you with the rest and strength that you were needing. I sent some prayers your way for all of you (your family & Lola). Our 1st dog had epilepsy and it was NOT fun.
Blessings to you all dear Gal.

Tamy Bollar said...

HUGS & PRAYERS for you and LOLA. Even strong people get beaten down, but the difference is that you always gets back up and are even stronger.

I haven't been around this week much as we started our week at the emergency vet with Gunner. I know what you mean - it just breaks your heart to watch a pet go through something they just can't comprehend. I swear the next person that tells me to keep a 75 pound retriever "quiet" for a week gets to be the one who babysits.

Lulu said...

praying for you, your family and your sweet doggie..
hugs,

Cheri said...

Sandra- it's ok to not always be strong. When things seem to pile up it's incredibly difficult. I know how much you love your pets as do I and I would be a complete mess. Praying for strength and answers and health :)

Linds said...

You amaze me. Constantly. Hugs from across the water - late, I know. xxx