I often think how incredibly lucky I am, or rather, blessed, that I can do so many things, some well and some not so well, others not at all, but for the most part I consider myself a pretty creative gal.
I think it all came from the amazing strong women in my family, women who have fought the odds and have struggled through most of their lives but always with a smile on their faces, women who knit and who crochet, who cook and who bake, who sew and who darn, who sing and who talk and have this intense love for the family and the Lord. Ahhh would it not be for their faith, I don't know where they or ME would be today.
After all anything that happens to your family happens to you too right? It's all a big circle and when you do something it tends to reverberate and send off all these little waves that affect all the members of the family.
So when I think about my childhood and I think about the things I've learned, I smile and I am overwhelmed with love and with pride and ever so thankful that I had the role models to teach me how to be a woman, how to take care of a home, how to be a wife and how to be a mother. All things that I could have learned by myself, but it makes it that much more poignant when it's been passed down from generation to generation....when you have a problem or a question and you know that no matter who you ask they will have an answer and not just one that they've heard somewhere, it's something they've learned through their years of life experience and it's advice that comes from "being there and doing that".
As I sit today and watch my 9 year old old start to turn into a young woman, I often wonder just how she'll turn out, will I have the same strength and courage that my greatgrandmother, grandmothers, mother and stepmother had, will I know how to answer her and give her the guidance she needs in her life?
I think the answer is yes, because I was taught by the best so how can I not know how to pass that on to Jasmine?
What got me thinking about all this is the fact that while watching some of the young girls around here, it struck me how little they knew about cooking or cleaning, most of them don't even want to know how to do these things, they laugh it off and say things like "we can just go out to eat everyday"....or "that's why I plan on living near my parents so my mom will do my laundry".
I would rather my daughter was prepared and knew how to do everything, obviously doesn't mean she will like it, chances are she'll probably turn her nose up at ironing, scrubbing toilets and dishes, but I want her to have the tools she needs to go out there on her own and know that if mom is not around, she can take care of herself, at least make a meal and have clean clothes. That's a starting point.
But as I was saying, I'm blessed, blessed because thankfully my daughter shows an interest in some of the things, she wants to cook and she loves cleaning (I did too until it became a daily thing, now not so much).
So I'm showing her everything I can and hope that one day, she may come to feel the same way I do about the wonderful women in my family.
I love you Bio, Avo Jacinta, Avo Odete, Mae and Nela!
I leave you with a question: Are you planning on teaching your daughters everything you know, or do you want to leave it up to them whether they want to learn or not?
23 comments:
Great post, Sandra - and I know your daughter will carry on the tradition she is learning from you. I tried to teach all mine all self-sufficiency so when they went off to uni (they are only in halls for one year then in houses they rent) they could cope. Diana is a natural home -maker.She loves cooking and making her home beautiful. She is very creative too, and yet she has also taught me a great deal. She is most certainly carrying on the tradition. It is wonderful to watch. And my boys? They do very well too!
What a good post. I did and continue to teach those things to my daughters. One is married and does a pretty good job with all of that but does call and ask for advice at times. My other daughter is a college student living at home but is really good about helping with the laundry cooking and cleaning.
So true, Sandra! I know I will teach my daughter everything I can whether she "thinks" she needs them or not...some things they just don't know yet! :) My son didn't "think" he needed to know how to do laundry and cook because he was a guy, but he's quite good at it now, and he knows his wife will appreciate it some day. Likewise, I want Joy to know how to change the oil in the car...something I didn't learn...and her dad will teach her those things.
I too am blessed and so thankful for it.
Tammy
Good post and good question! I don't teach my daughters in any consistent or coherent way, but I think they pick up quite a lot. My middle daughter is more inclined to want to cook and clean than her elder sister, but my eldest (13yo) is actually quite competent despite not appearing to show much interest. Maybe she absorbs it by osmosis! She can cook and bake enough that I know she will be able to manage on her own when the time comes. She isn't keen on cleaning, but can do it when she has to ;), and she can do jobs like mowing the lawn and washing the car. She is very good at childcare - a natural at looking after little ones. I think if I couldn't see that she is acquiring skills, I would be more proactive in teaching her.
My middle daughter (9yo) likes to cook and bake, and chose to do a home skills badge at Brownies (Girl Scouts). Than included things like cleaning her room, washing and ironing, and preparing a simple breakfast. My 2yo loves to help with cleaning and adores baking, but who knows how long that will last!
Great post! If I had daughters, I would definitely make a point of teaching them what I know. I wish I had paid more attention to my Mom about homemaking when I was growing up.My Mom tried, I just had completely different plans.
As for my boys? I am teaching them the basics of housekeeping (they love to clean so I'll take all the help I can - LOL!), finances and making sure they will be fabulous cooks. I am forever grateful to Aaron's Mom for, as she used to say, "Making sure my boys to know how to cook!". I never had the chance to meet her but I am so very grateful to her.
You are so blessed that she wants to learn, but I'm sure it's because you have a fantastic attitude and project a loving ability to make homemaking fun. I know I cried when my niece called and asked if she could come visit so I could teach her to cook and quilt. It really pulls on your heart strings. http://www.3sidesofcrazy.com/search/label/Amber
I enjoyed reading your post.
I did teach my daughters everything I know and am very proud of them. They all know how to sew, crochet, cook, etc. Their all wonderful mothers and are installing the same values of life in their own children.
You're on the right track... keep going and your daughter will be bragging about you some day and you'll be proud of her too.
Great post! Everything that I have learned came from my mother, grandmothers and great grandmother. I sat alongside them as a child as I learned to cook, clean, sew, stitch and with everything in me tried to crochet. I hope that one day to be able to pass it along to my daughters. with every stir of a spoon, swipe of a broom, and every stitch with a needle I feel them with me. It is a family legacy I hope to pass along one day.
Hi Sandra
I would love to teach my girls more but at the moment they seen reluctant to want to learn much. They both enjoy a bit of cooking and B15 can operate our sewing machine probably better than I can. I find they do not want to know about laundry or cleaning the kitchen or bathrooms. *Surprise!*
K17 is going to University next year which is 400 kms away. She will have to do her own laundry, making sure she has clean, dry clothes to wear - Mum won't be there to tumble-dry something at 10pm for the next day for her. She will have to keep her small room clean in case a visitor calls. At the moment, it does not bother her if she leaves things scattered thru the house and her rooms is a bomb-site! - Mum will pick up and tidy, won't she? It may be different when it is just her space and she is responsible for it. Do I have memories of being a teenage 'sloth'? Yes, I do.
I now find I am getting more and more pedantic about a clean house - it must come with age! I can't bear things lying around and items on benchtops when they should be put away. K17 suggested I do a Mum's How To Journal for her, eg. reminder to change sheets weekly, dust desk top, window sills etc, vacuum weekly, how to separate washing etc, list of healthy snacks/meal ideas, so I might make that a Christmas present to her.
I like your blog and visit regularly.
Cheers - Joolz, Australia
My (almost) 16 month old is already showing interest, YAY! She loves to take her dirty diapers and throw them in the garbage can, as well as put her dirty cloths in the cloths hamper. She also knows that once she's done playing with her toys in her room, she needs to put them back in her toybox before leaving the room. Most the time I have to remind her but soon as I do, she's happy to put them all away.
Loved this post Sandra !!! I've started answering your question HERE
Sandra you are so right about so much in this post. I am very thankful for my mama and all the things she taught me. Most women dont care about having a home (which is not just a house but something created by the woman). Something that gets on my nerves...when we have a party, church get-together, etc... and women are suppose to bring something...dont go to walmart and pick up a tray of cookies from the bakery! I dont want that! Cook it at your house! Make something from your heart...from your home...but I guess they dont know how any more or I think they are just too lazy! People go out to eat and think thank mess is good...YUCK...cause they dont know what good ole home cooking is! Whew! I'm getting on a roll here...thanks for your encouragment to women who read your blog! You make women want to be women!
Oh I love that picture btw....it describes the warmth and love....the things you posted about.
Our oldest is a son - and he learned it all also. He is in college now and can do his own laundry, cooks just about everything and knows how to clean and take care of a yard. He is going to make someone an awesome husband some day.
My daughter is proving to be much harder to teach. But she has developed a love for sewing at her grandmothers...so guess what she is getting for Xmas?
My children are now teenagers. My son will turn 17 in just a few days, and my daughter will be 16 in March. I have tried to teach both of them how to be self-sufficient. My son is actually much more than my daughter, but he does have a year more of teaching. I know that if something happened to me today that they would at least have the rudimental ability to take care of themselves. I hope to be able to have many more years to teach them! For years I would call my Mother at Thanksgiving for her to tell me how to make the dressing for the Turkey! I hope my children are the same way.
What a great post! My girls now 11 and 9, could run their own homes at this point! They do laundry, house cleaning and some basic cooking. I am blessed that they also have a heart for home, and thats where it starts right? I think moms set the 'tone' for a home and its how we approach these things that our daughters/sons will reflect. I dont give the girls 'chores' because that implies something something burdensome,so i assign 'ways to bless the house'. Its really importatn we realize we are not raising children, but future mothers and wives!
Tanna
I only have boys but my hubby and I both want to teach them how to do things so they can take care of themselves. My hubby is a great cook and he cleans the house. We share the responsiblities of the house openly in front of our kids so they know what that is like. We want them to treat their future wives with great care.
Of course I will teach my daughter how to do things I know, whether she want to learn them or not!
And yes I too am thankful for those women and men in my life who have taught me so much!!
I try to instill in Madison everyday what is right and what is wrong...What would I do or even What would Jesus do....I will probably tell her how to do things until the day i die.....
You have a wonderful blog, I love your header. I will be visiting more often.
Great post Sandra. You are a good mom.
I love this post! I am thankful, also, for the great women in my life! I hope my daughter is interested in many of the same things as me. I will try to encourage her to try the things I like, and also her own unique pursuits.
I left you some bloggy luv on my site today: http://problemsolvinmom.blogspot.com/2008/10/kreativity-and-six-favorites.html
hugs,
Steph
My two oldest are boys...when I went back to work outside the home in 2000, I told them all that I was not going to work all week, then spend all weekend cleaning house. Did that for the summer and I had no time off, as I also was putting in tons of hours at a new new position/new company..starting from the ground up. So I taught them to clean the bathrooms. They were not happy about it, but the boys were old enough to do the bathroom, oldest daughter could sort all the laundry and get it to the laundry room, unload the dryer and they ALL had to fold their own laundry and put it away.
These days my oldest is in the Army...when he left for basic I told him that I derived an immense amount of satisfaction knowing that he was halfway across the country, standing up straight and making his bed;) #2 son is in college & living at home...and he cleans the bathrooms better than anyone else...he has a pacemaker & it makes it hurt to lean over the tub and clean so oldest daughter still has to do that. He'll be moving to a school apt in Jan at the latest, so both girls pick up the slack. I'm not ready for the youngest to clean toilets, but she empties trashes, she can clean the countertops while the older one does the tubs and toilets.
I want to make sure they can all cook something or at least figure out how to feed themselves...I knew already that my sons were strong, independent, and my oldest daughter is really coming into it and showing me how strong she is. I'm proud of all my kids, and glad that my daughters will be following in the footsteps of other women in the family.
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