{ Praise the Lord }

I'm just about to head to bed, but I wanted to come in super quick and thank you, each and every single one of you, who prayed for me, and let me know that you were thinking of me.

I went in for my mammogram call back this morning.

I can't even put into words the anxiety, worry, fear that I lived under the past week.  When I got the call back last Tuesday, I felt like the rug was pulled out from under my feet.  The worst part of it all, aside from the fear of what it all meant, was having to wait so long to go back and get some answers.  I just don't understand how some hospitals do that, it is the worst thing you can do to a woman.

My husband took me to the hospital this morning.  He can't really take much time off because he is not a salaried employee, therefore if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid.  He already had to take Monday off for his uncle's funeral.  But he took time off this morning to take me because he knew how absolutely terrified I was.

He held my shaky hands in the waiting room, he wiped my tears, he told me I was fine and everything would be fine and that if anything came up, we would face it together, no matter what.

If only he knew how much that meant to me.

So anyway, I had a spot compression done, and let me tell you OUCH.  It's not that it's any different than the normal mammogram, other than the fact that paddle they use is smaller so they can really magnify and concentrate on the area in question.

I was shown what they wanted to get more imaging of.  A small lump on my right breast.  When I saw it, my heart dropped, I was even more nervous then.  After a few more images were taken, she asked me to wait for a few minutes while she took the images to the radiologist.  She placed a hospital bracelet on my arm and said that I was also scheduled for a sonogram. 

The 10 minutes I sat in that cold room, in my hospital gown, seemed like an eternity. 

She returned, and immediately told me that we were all done, she removed my bracelet and told me that I was ok, everything was fine.  The lump they had found was just tissue because of my dense breasts, and that the radiologist said I'm all good to go and see you in a year.

Isn't it funny how a few simple words can either make or break you???  Just like that, the worry and the fear from the past week disappeared.  I actually started to cry, I was so relieved.  First thing I did, I thanked God because I knew this was His doing.

I know that when I go back next year, there is a big chance of this happening yet again, but I think this time when and if it happens, I won't go into completely panic mode. 

Do I want to go through that fear again?  Absolutely not, I wouldn't wish this past week on my worst enemy.  But knowing that I'm ok and that everything is fine, is such a huge relief to me that it completely overshadows the worry.

I learned a big lesson, yet again.  It's a lesson I am constantly being forced to learn and you would think by now I would know better, but I continue to fall and fail.  STOP WORRYING until and if you have to worry.

Give it to God.  Lean on Him.  Put it in His hands.


Goodness, I need to learn this already. 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what had happened and again thank you all so much for the prayers.  You are amazing :)