Happy Birthday to me!

Now you may think that sounds a bit conceited, but it's not LOL The reason I'm wishing myself a happy birthday is because I felt that since I'm turning 32 years old today, I would post about what my life has been like.

It's not going to be one of those boring.....at 5 years old I went skipping by a pond.....at 10 years old I dropped my ice cream on my dress.........Nah, that's not what I meant, it's just that after being on this earth for 32 years, so much has happened. There's been good times and then there's been bad times, but who doesn't have their ups and downs right?

I'm ready, I have my cup of hot coffee and I'm about to pour it all out, are you ready? If you don't have time for a long post I would suggest doing something else for now, I don't want to bore anyone but I really want to get this all out.

I have to say that I've been blessed with a wonderful life, I have the best family in the world, the best husband and kids and just everything I could ever wish for. I've also been blessed with the love of the Lord and even though right now I feel that I'm at the best place in my life, it wasn't always so.
As a matter of fact, just last year before starting this blog, I was NOT in a close relationship with God. I had drifted away and didn't know how to get back to Him, sure I could pick up the Bible and read it but even that I found boring. I'm not ashamed to admit that I was at a low point in my life and that I didn't have the hunger and excitement to pursue a closer relationship with the Lord.

Then I started blogging, and boy did that change everything. I would sit at my computer and read all the christian blogs and just marvel at the ladies behind the words. These were Christian women so devoted to the Lord that they brought out a hunger and need in me to be just like them.....I wanted to be able to quote scriptures and actually know what I was talking about, I wanted to open the Bible and read with a thirst for His word and get giddy with excitement at the thought of reading another word or another christian book.
But most of all I wanted to have my own testimony and my own stories to tell about how the Lord was working in my life, because you see, I didn't know it at the time, but he had been doing such wonderful work and it was SO obvious that I just can't believe I missed it.

Let me tell you something though, before I started blogging, I have already said that my relationship with Him was non-existent, but more so, I was at a crossroads in my life. They always say that around the age of 30 years old is when some women start questioning everything they've done, where they are, what they've achieved etc....I was there, I didn't know who I was anymore, I didn't know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go.

Finding that love with the Lord again not only brought me hapiness like I'd never experienced, but it also helped me find myself and realize that all the hardships I had gone through, all the crying and the yelling, the grieving over passed loved ones, my miscarriages, my move away from my family and even the fights with my husband, had all led me to this one single moment....I call it the "SANDRA TADA MOMENT". That was when I went......"OH MAN, this is what I want and it's where I want to be"......and the best part of it?????
After all the years of being distant from God, He was right there with arms wide open and waiting with the biggest smile on His face.

Call me a wussy if you like, but I'm getting teary eyed just writing this LOL

So now that I got that out of the way, I want to do something different, I want to make a list (if you will) of what my life has been, but divided into categories.

At 32 years old I have learnt so far that:
Life is what you make of it.
The Lord is always there no matter what.
The best treasures are those you already have.
Not to sweat the small stuff.
The best friends are those that accept you for who you are even when if you're not their idea of what a friend should be and act like.

At 32 years old I have YET to learn how:
To completely hand over control to God.
To swim.
To do math (yeah I'm running out of fingers and toes)
To garden.
To stop worrying about everything.
To be the best wife and mother I can be.

At 32 years old I've had to learn to live without:
My greatgrandmother.
My grandfather Julio.
My grandfather Antonio.
My father in law Doug.
My two angels in heaven.

At 32 years old I now accept that:
My life is as perfect as it's going to be.
I HAVE all I could ever wish for.
I love who I am and who I've become.
I'm extremely lucky to be where I am.

And now just to show you how blessings have come from hard times.
I had two miscarriages - If I didn't have them I wouldn't have my son Nicholas right now.
Moving away from my family - Learnt to be independent and to be the woman I am today.
Being distant from God - Makes me finding Him again all that more sweeter to me, I now appreciate much more what I was missing.

The list could go on and on but you get the point right???

Well it's time for me to go be with my family, open some presents and just BE happy knowing that I have everyone with me, not just here but in spirit and best of all I have the Lord, sitting right next to me at the table as I open the gifts, holding my hand when I get teary eyed and laughing along when I find something funny. These have been the BEST years of my life and I'm truly blessed to have made it this far, I only hope to be able to sit down in another 32 years and again pour my heart out and list what has happened since then. BUT I do hope that you will ALL be here with me, for I would have never found the Lord again if it weren't for so many of you out there, the ones that have become my true friends and that I love dearly.

Rena
Liz
Jaymi
Courtney
Emily
Sarah
Morning Glory
Christina
Melany
Jen
Michelle

and so many more, but those have really been there for me and I love them all dearly.....I will come put links up later, right now I'm being called to the Present Pile LOL

Love you all, have a blessed day and hey, have a drink for me will ya?