It's here....the book is finally here and I've already been reading it. I actually put aside the book I was in the middle of to start on this one.
I've mentioned before, but just as a reminder, this book is about learning to leave things in God's control and to know what to do when you're waiting for something to happen. More importantly to recognize that things are done in God's timing and not ours.
I'm so bad in this department. I put things in His hand and 5 minutes later I snatch them back, because it's just not being done as fast as I want it to. Over and over I make this mistake, for years now I have constantly questioned Him about the fact that I ask for things that I think I need right away, or I get tired of waiting. I'm always waiting it seems.
But he doesn't say wait and hope and sit quietly. This is so huge for me, and such a light bulb moment.
Look, I've read this book before, many many years ago, but like everything else in life, as I've grown older, I've changed. The way I see life, the way I approach things, the way I deal with problems, is very different from my 20 something old self. This book couldn't have come at a better time for me, because I feel that right now is when I need it the most.
"What do I need the most?"
"You need ME. You need to feel Me beside you and know that that's enough for whatever lies ahead, instead of trying to harness Me into your schedule. You need to renew your spirit first and continually. Slow down and let Me help you."
That is me to a tee. Such a busy life, running around from place to place, sometimes too busy for God, and then something happens that forces me to slow down and instead of taking that time to wait, and to listen, really listen to what He has to say.
I've been in the Impatient Woman's Club for most of my life, and from what I gather it is quite a big club.
It's not always easy to admit our faults and especially do it publicly, but I've always been extremely vocal about this battle I've had with losing control and learning to wait with purpose.
This book has been a life saver, it has opened my eyes in ways that nothing and no one else, has ever done.
Does God not know that I need this done, or that I want that by next week, or that I think I really really really need something? Like it says in the book, yes He does, but thankfully He is smarter than we are.
Waiting purposefully means working while we wait, following God's word and surrendering to his will. Oh yes indeed. But, easier said than done, it is by far the biggest and toughest lesson I have had to learn, and am still learning to this day.
I hope to one day be able to say that I've finally learned to let go, that I've finally realized that just because I want something doesn't mean that it is something good for me.
You know it's almost like when we tell the kids up front that we are going somewhere that they really want to go, and then for days leading up to it happening we are bombarded with "is it time yet? can we go now? why do we have to wait until so and so, maybe I don't want to go anymore."
I think that is exactly what I sound like at times when I'm talking to my Lord. Accusingly, disrespectfully, judging, annoying.....
I'm willing to learn, to mount up and be ready for battle. Most importantly I am going to read this book again, from cover to cover and really look at it through different eyes. I am sure that as I read through it's pages, moments of clarity will engulf me and by the time I am done, I will be able to say that I finally get it and that I am now waiting with purpose.