Wednesday, August 10, 2022

{ 48 years old, and a quiet day with my pets }

IMG_3436

I blinked and my birthday was upon me.  48 years old.  Just 2 years from the big 50!

Curt and I were talking earlier, and I was telling him that this year just flew by, and where usually I would be waiting for my birthday to come around, this year, I blinked and it there it was. 

IMG_3428

A lot has changed the past few years.  I have grown in my relationship with God, I've had days of pure joy and happiness, and I've also had my fair share of grief and sadness.

I've gained 10 pounds of hormonal weight, all thanks to hitting Perimenopause.  I've gained friends, I've lost friends.  I've gained wisdom and I've shed negativity.  I've been on the precipice, at rock bottom, where I've felt unwanted, misunderstood, taken for granted, attacked, insulted and offended, judged by what I like, what I say, what I think.

IMG_3446

This year has felt different for me.  I've changed a lot.  I've learned to not accept certain things.  I've learned that I don't need to like everything, or say yes to everyone.  Above all, I've learned to be thankful for each year, for each day, week, month that I am living.  Each morning that God breathes fresh air into my lungs, I am blessed.  
 
It's so easy for us to get upset about the passing years, I mean, all we have to do is look in the mirror to see more wrinkles, more lines, more grey hairs, more weight, more jowls.  Right?
 
But we forget that we are so incredibly blessed and privileged to be aging and celebrating each year.  All we have to do is look around us, at how many young souls have left this earth too soon.  How many would have loved nothing more than to live the lives we are living.
 
So I woke up this morning, with a huge smile on my face.   
 
Actually......scratch that.  Let's rewind a bit, because I have to tell you exactly how I woke up today, it's quite funny.  The smile did come upon me, but not the first 5 minutes, because I opened my eyes, went to get out of bed, and my left ear was completely clogged.  Hahaha

IMG_3452

I tried yawning, I tried pulling on the ear lobe, I tried the whole stick the pinky finger in there and wag it up and down super fast.  Nothing was working.

I believe the first words out of my mouth were "Good morning Lord, and a very happy birthday to me with this deaf ear".

It did open up about 5 minutes later, but for a moment I thought that was how I would be celebrating my 48th birthday, with a clogged up ear.  

Anyway, I just had to tell you that little story because I found it quite funny.

I got ready for the day, had my breakfast and felt this immense joy and contentment welling inside me.  I'm never been one to really enjoy birthdays.  I am fine with doing nothing special for my birthday.

But today, I was just joyful.  

IMG_3456

My phone started flooding me with birthday wishes from my family, both here in the States and in South Africa.  They all asked me what I was doing today, and my answer was always the same "Whatever I wish to do, I don't know, but I guess whatever makes me happy."   

To which they would reply along the same lines of "It's your day, just do nothing, relax, take it easy."

In my mind, I was envisioning reading all day or watching movies.  Something like that.

IMG_3457

But what I ended up doing was cleaning, organizing, and pretty much doing what I do every day.  

Being a Homemaker!!!

My sweet husband came home, to have lunch with me, and was perplexed as to why I would choose to do housework on my birthday.  He has a point, but for some reason it is what I wanted to do.

And it turned out to be the best birthday I've had in a very long time.  I know that probably doesn't make sense.  Some of you may even be sitting there thinking I've lost my mind.  But really, it was just what I wanted and needed.

For the first time since I was a child, I actually enjoyed my birthday, I gave thanks to be alive and for another year ahead, I did what I wanted to do, I also got to read a bit, and fell asleep on the couch with Kaia for all of 10 minutes.......but I just spent the day doing what made me happy.

I think we often complicate things.  We tend to make so much out of every little thing.  A birthday doesn't have to be a big to do.  Some people go all out.  Some like myself, prefer to spend a quiet more subdued birthday but a happy one nonetheless.

Just between you and me, I think the fact that the temperatures dropped down to 90, it was cloudy and even rained a little, it put me in a good mood.  See, I'm easy to please.

So there you have it.  I celebrated my 48th birthday by myself, with my babies Elliott and Kaia.  I shared lunch with Curt and Nick, and then made a Chicken Fried Steak, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy and Roasted Broccoli dinner for us.  AND my husband bought me a Tiramisu cake because he knows it's one of my faves.

Perfect way to celebrate yet another year!!!

4 comments:

Deanna said...

HaPpY Birthday to you!!! What a great age to be. I smiled reading your sweet post. I'm 67 and can't believe it. Sorry about that clogged ear. Life is an adventure...God bless you real good. ~d

Jules said...

Belated Birthday wishes, Sandra! Xx

Deb said...

Happy Birthday! So much of this post had me nodding in agreement and thinking, 'Yes, yes, exactly!' Sometimes the simplest things are what we need. And perimenopause....ugh! I'm 55 and thankfully, hopefully, possibly, finally coming the end of that brutal phase of life! LOL I think it's a huge part of what's messed me up mentally the past couple years, all those feelings of being unwanted and misunderstood that you mention were strong in me.

But anyway, glad you had a lovely day!

Jennifer said...

This post was such a blessing this morning! I, too, rather dread birthdays but what a wonderful perspective you had. I'm rather wishing my birthday was coming soon (which it is not) because I would love to celebrate in much the same way. But, I suppose, every day is a gift and a chance to celebrate. To be gratefuly, to relish in all our blessings and in His goodness - and to age gracefully:) I'm glad you enjoyed your day! And happiest (belated) wishes!!