About You Don’t Look AdoptedPaperback: 164 pages
Publisher: Running Water Press (February 5, 2017)
When you take away the habits of your life, you get to the question of Who am I? And if you sit with that, you get to the question of How far am I willing to go to find the answers? If you are Anne Heffron, someone who had no idea where she was the first ten weeks of her life, you’ll give away almost everything you own, pack what’s left, and head for the city of your birth on a voyage you call Write or Die with the pledge you won’t go home until you find what’s real about yourself.
“You Don’t Look Adopted by Anne Heffron is an insightful self-exploration of life as an adopted person. The author gives readers a deep, personal journey into her innermost thoughts, fears, hopes and confusion as she struggles to unravel her life and concepts of value, worth, and mattering.”–Mirah Riben, Huffington Post
About Anne HeffronAnne Heffron was born in Manhattan in 1964 to a young college student who gave her up for adoption. Fifty-one years later Anne returned to Manhattan to find the roots of her story, the story that began with her birth instead of the story that began “The day we got you.” This journey is the subject of “You Don’t Look Adopted”, an account of the perils and blessings of adoption.
Before turning to memoir, Anne co-wrote the film “Phantom Halo” with her writing partner, Antonia Bogdanovich. “Phantom Halo” was first shown at the 2015 Austin Film Festival and won Best Picture at the 2015 New York International Film Festival. She and Antonia currently have a screenplay, “The Rabbit Will Die” in development.
Connect with Anne
If I've ever read a book that touched me and taught me at the same time, it was this one.
I'm not adopted, and so it's hard for me to put myself in those shoes and even begin to try and imagine, what it is like for someone who is. But my husband, IS adopted.
I've never talked about it here on the blog, never thought it was something I should mention or bring up.
The way I found out he was adopted was actually quite funny, we had been dating for a few months and I mentioned to him how much he looked like his mother, to which he started laughing and said "well thank you, but I am adopted".
I have tried to talk to him about it, he knows very little about his mother and absolutely nothing about his father. By the time he was adopted at 1 and a half years old, he had been passed around from person to person.
In my mind, without having personal experience in it at all, I kept thinking that if I were to find out I was ever adopted, I would want to know who my biological parents were and everything else I could.
My husband doesn't, never has and he really is not interested in the slightest in going down that avenue. But with that said, he is curious of course and I'm pretty certain that there are many unanswered questions and feelings and emotions that were brought up by his adoption. One of those being the question of why. Why did they not want me, why did they give me up, why didn't they keep me?
He absolutely loves his adopted parents, they ARE his family and mom and dad and always will be, no matter where he may have come from biologically.
Anne's book allowed me an insight into what it is like from his perspective, his thoughts, his feelings or how deeply adoption can affect someone. Although their stories are different in so many ways, I think there is a bond that connects adoptees and definitely experiences that are similar.
Her story is so poignant and so raw with emotion and it will tug at your heart strings. She takes us through her life from childhood through adulthood, her own struggles and the one thing that still haunts her to this day, which has to do with her whereabouts the first 10 weeks of life. From the moment she was given up for adoption, until her adopted parents had her, 10 weeks went by of which she has no clue.
Anne has tried to live through it all, and even met her biological mother, a meeting that turned out to be another disappointment and heartbreak, when she was yet again rejected. She is incredibly strong through it all and such an inspiration.
I've passed the book on to my mother in law, who desperately wanted to read it from the perspective of an adoptive mother herself.
If you are adopted, have someone in your life who is adopted or are thinking of adoption yourself, I highly recommend this memoir.
The publisher is giving away a copy of the book. It is open to US/Canada. All you have to do is leave me a comment below and let me know if you have any connections with adoption, whether your own, your spouse, family member etc.