Day 116:09 PM
I had to get out of the house with the kids today.
We just needed to go out and do something, and even though it wasn't anything expensive or out of this world, and we were only gone a little over an hour, we enjoyed it.
:::: first stop, lunch at Burger King
:::: it's not something we do often, matter of fact fast food places are not something we eat much of....but since it had been a long time, it's where we went :)
:::: library was our next stop, to return some books and get a few more
:::: there's always time for a quick game in between book picking
:::: and the best way to pick books is sitting on the carpet
:::: this little boy is at the *hate reading stage* which makes library trips a little frustrating. He gets very irritated having to pick books. I just keep reminding myself it's a stage, Jasmine was the same way at 9 years old...he'll get over it soon, there's no way he won't being part of a family that adores reading :)
:::: do I have to pick another book?
:::: pure joy for me
:::: back home, and the books are in the library basket in the living room, ready for reading
:::: some fresh cut flowers to brighten the kitchen table
and then suddenly the day came to a screeching halt.
See, I had decided to go clean out my husband's truck, give it a good cleaning, vacuum inside etc. I was already a little frustrated because it was 106 degrees and I was hot and sweaty......but then I came across a folder of his from school, with his handwriting....and that was all that was needed.
I found myself holding back tears and swallowing the lump in my throat.
How ridiculous, it's just a folder, it's just his handwriting, it's not that big of a deal.
But that is where I was wrong. I literally felt like all of a sudden the feelings of missing him and being sad and lonely just came crushing down on top of me like a pile of bricks, and I ran. I shut the door, I walked into the house, made my way into the bedroom and lay on the bed clutching his pillow and crying.
I think I needed it really bad. I have been trying to hold it in and be strong for the kids and for him, but I just couldn't anymore.
Funny, because I sent him a text in the middle of my breakdown and with just a few words he was able to calm me down, to get me back on track. He always knows how to do that, no matter what is going on around me, what is stressing me out, my husband has a way of making it all better.
But it wasn't just him, because my amazing children heard me crying and came into the bedroom and proceeded to comfort ME. I should be doing this for them, but in that moment, they took over, they hugged me, they kissed my forehead, they told me that it's ok, that we can do this, we can make it through, we'll be fine, before we know it daddy will be home.
And then they disappeared into the kitchen....and a few moments later I walked in to find this going on
:::: there was ham being cut
:::: a little boy flipping an omelet
:::: Yep, an omelet is what was being prepared by my kiddos
:::: Here mommy, we made you dinner and don't worry about us, we'll make ourselves dinner too
I don't know what I have ever done to deserve the amazing children and husband I have.
But I am so thankful, because in these small moments, in these little actions, I know that no matter what bumps may come my way, I WILL be fine, and I will make it through....because of them!