Jasmine has been sick with a cold on and off. Yesterday she still had a bit of a cough in the morning but since then it seems to have dissipated, but last night when she came running to me to say goodnight, she suddenly grabbed the top of her head and yelled out that it hurt.
She went to bed and slept and when I woke her up for school this morning again she said the top of her head hurt. She got up and started walking around and said it was ok unless she turned her head from side to side or up or down, then it hurt really bad. I HATE things like that, as a mother your thoughts start going crazy and you start wondering what it is, what it could be, what it could mean. It's annoying and frustrating to me because the last thing you want as a parent is to see your child in any kind of pain.
Within 5 minutes the headache was gone and she was back to her normal bouncy self. Now I ask you parents out there, what do you think it could be? Have one of your kids had this happen before?
In my mind I'm thinking it's because she's been sick lately and coughing up a storm. I know for myself when I cough a lot it gets to a point where my head starts hurting.
So she's in school right now and I've prayed and I've placed it in the Lord's hands and ask that he make her better, but I can't get rid of the knot in my stomach or the constant worry. "I wonder if she's ok, I hope she's not getting another headache, what if the school calls?" I literally have to yell at myself to STOP and not make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Oh but isn't it so easy to do just that? With every single aspect of our lives? How often do we exaggerate things? Enter into panic mode and then later come to realize that all it was, was a waste of time where we could have been worry free.
It makes me think of the Nooma DVD's. If you've never heard them, they are by this wonderful Pastor Rob Bell, and my favorite by far is called "Rain". Here it is for you to watch.
I can totally relate to this, to being so caught up in the moment and so overwhelmed with my problems or worries that I forget and tune out the Lord's. I drown out His comforting voice and then start getting upset because He's NOT there. Correction, He is, I'm just too busy whining and complaining to realize it.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed today, the move is suddenly become that much real, I have but 2 days to get ready for it and I wonder how I'll get it all done.
There's lists and plans to make it go as smoothly as possible and of course I've been praying for help and patience through this all. My problem is control, giving it over to someone else and not allowing myself to just relax...but I'm sure I'll be fine. I think Jasmine's headache this morning was the *straw that broke the camel's back*.
You know I'm typically a very positive person and let things slide right over me, I don't dwell on things and I don't let stuff get me down, but I also have my days, the days that I just want to crawl into bed and have someone else take care of ME. Have someone else take all the worries and the thoughts that annoy me.
That's when I realize that I've once again left the door open to the devil. You know if you let just a little crack open, he will take it. He will come right in and start placing negative thoughts in your mind, making you questions yourself and your faith. He's a sneaky bugger, so I'm closing the door and padlocking it, no more starting right this minute.
So I leave you today with a question:
How do you, personally, discern when you run into a road block, whether it is God testing you or the devil trying to block the path and merely needs to be overcome?I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I'll tell you that for me, I've noticed that when I become complacent and start putting everything and anything ahead of God, that is when I start facing trials, when things start going wrong, my health deteriorates or something unexpected comes out etc.
Then there's times that I'm never been closer to the Lord and something will happen that I know for SURE is the devil's doing, trying to break me down, trying to stop me from achieving what I want. There's no real way to tell, I just KNOW!